Asshatery

It's a Thanksgiving miracle, folks, one whole day early: Alexander Ovechkin has been looking for a magical unicorn hat trick all season long, and your impotent Atlanta Thrashers pointed him in the proper direction tonight. 

I'm not excusing the Thrashers' terrible play tonight, but I think it's indisputable that the our first penalty--the one against Colby Armstrong--was a product of silly Canadian Beaver God-worshippers deciding that they had to be "tough on crime" and get Army back for his hideous abomination against the Beaver God last night, when he ran into Jason Blake of the Vegas Maple Leafs. When will Canada outgrow its primitive medieval darkness and embrace reason and science and proper historical study? Probably never; they still believe that a Beaver God created the Vegas Maple Leafs for their benefit. 

I'd feel worse about this horrific defeat if the stupid Hurricanes, Lighting, and Panthers were winning. But they're all losing too, because they Southeast Division is terrible. 

Happy Thanksgiving kids. I need another drink.

Update: The stupid Lighting and Panthers have tied it up with their enemies late in their games...as of right now, the Panthers have lost and the Lighting are headed to overtime. I stand corrected: the Southeast Division is terrible, but the Thrashers are even more terrible.