Scene 17
(scene: Thrasherville main street, late afternoon. A slight breeze is raising dust from the road. Sheriff Peverley is dragging various horse-water troughs into the middle of the road. He lines them up into a single aqueduct of horse-water, running from one side of the street to the other. Very intent and intense look on his face. He’s concentrating hard.)
(Deputy Little approaches)
LITTLE LITTLE
Hey there Sheriff, what you up to?
TEN GALLON
Quiet, Deputy, I need to think.
LITTLE LITTLE
Why the river of water troughs?
TEN GALLON
I said---
(Mayor Waddell enters, looking despondent and muttering to himself)
MAYOR WADDELL
Darn blast it all to Hades. I’ll never win another---
LITTLE LITTLE
Hiya Mr. Mayor. How is it?
MAYOR WADDELL
Not good, Deputy, not good. I’ve just been fired, in fact.
LITTLE LITTLE
Fired?! Well schucks Mr. Mayor, I’m sorry about that. Um, how can the Mayor be fired?
TEN GALLON
He weren’t fired, Deputy, he was impeached.
LITTLE LITTLE
He was locked up in a giant peach?
TEN GALLON
Yes. And I reckon a man oughtn’t-a cry over it, because the Committee has cold brought him into their fold.
MAYOR WADDELL
Now now, Sheriff, you know I treasure my position in the Committee. It’s just that---
(A stagecoach rumbles out of nowhere and runs over Mayor Waddell. It continues down the road at a fiery pace, knocking over Ten Gallon’s river of horse troughs, until it disappears into the desert.)
LITTLE LITTLE
AHHHHHHHH MR. MAYOR OH MY GAWD THIS IS TERRIBLE. (runs over to help the disgraced and flattened former public official)
TEN GALLON
(grabbing his six-shooter and climbing onto the nearest horse) They ruined my damn horse trough river! I’ll find the stagecoach, Deputy, you see the Mayor gets proper help. Step on, steed! (He and the horse gallop off into the desert)
(Little Little crouches down to Mayor Waddell and realizes that he’s still alive. His face and clothing are marked with comical hoof prints.)
LITTLE LITTLE
Good lord Mr. Mayor, who did this to ya?
MAYOR WADDELL
The safe...
LITTLE LITTLE
Whut?
MAYOR WADDELL
The safe, make sure it...
(He passes out. Little Little checks for a heartbeat.)
LITTLE LITTLE
Dag nabbit, he’s still alive. C’mon, Mr. Mayor, wake on up! What’s all this about a safe? Aw hell, DOCTOR! IS THERE A DOCTOR AROUND?
Scene 18
(Ten Gallon is galloping furiously through the desert. He and his steed race past cactuses and joshua trees, sagebrush and rocks. At one point he notices a jackrabbit hopping along parallel to him, then outpacing him. The camera gradually pulls away from Ten Gallon and his steed and becomes an expansive view of arresting but unforgiving desert. The land is gold with dots of ragged green. Nothing moves but Ten Gallon. Ten Gallon’s horse slows down, eventually coming to a complete stop. As the camera pans out into a deep focus shot, Ten Gallon looks around in every direction, visibly confused.)
Scene 19
(After the long deep focus shot, an abrupt cut to a raucous card game in a saloon. Nik Antropov is taking a swig of sarsaparilla and pounding it down on the table. Maxim Afinogenov is staring intently at his deck of cards. Pavel Kubina is feeding table scraps to Misha the Coyote. A gang of ruffians and roughnecks is gathered round the table, cheering on their favorite players and passing around dollar bills and hip flasks and scraps of what may or may not be fool’s gold.)
MAXIM
I’ll call.
(murmuring among the saloon crowd)
PAVEL
That would be a wise decision, but---
(He’s cut off by notorious young gunslinger Evander “Quickdraw” Kane, who approaches from the bar.)
QUICKDRAW KANE
Mr. Detective, I reckon you should take a look at what’s just happened outside.
MAXIM
Hmm?
QUICKDRAW KANE
The mayor, sir. He’s been clean run over by a phantom stagecoach. Word is not even Sheriff Peverley can find the culprit, who just vanished once they got out into the desert. I’m telling ya, it’s spooky stuff.
MAXIM
You must be joking.
QUICKDRAW KANE
Honest as if the Good Lord were judgin’ my backhand, sir.
(A burly young outdoorsman, a prospector-looking type with a tattered gray hat and fierce beard, approaches the table. He looks not unlike Zach Bogosian.)
BOGOSIAN
He ain’t lyin’, Detective. This town is being menaced by someone...or something. If you lawdogs would be stop monopolizin’ the manhunt, I’d be happy to put a gang together to go out and find these sons a’ bitches and bring ‘em to justice, good-style.
MAXIM
Is vigilante justice popular in Thrasherville?
BOGOSIAN
Just sayin’, Detective.
NIK
You know, he’s right. I wouldn’t be against putting out a reward for turning these people in.
PAVEL
That’s just because your former employer is dead and you need work.
NIK
(considers this for a moment) Perhaps. But I would be up for a little adventure into the wild, into the desert. To find these wretches.
QUICKDRAW KANE
Count me in too.
MAXIM
Well, I’m not in charge of this. I’ll see what Sheriff Peverley thinks.
(At that instant the saloon doors open and the Sheriff walks in. He looks bewildered and desperate. He holds up a sheet of paper with the words “ATTENTION BOUNTY-HUNTERS, GUNFIGHTERS, AND LAWLESS MONSTERS! REWARD! $1,000! CATCH THESE EVIL BASTARDS!” He nails it to the wall.)
2 comments:
"Did you hear that? She thinks I'm a steed!"
Ah, I can see it all in my mind so clear.
I sense that a scene 20 is soon on the horizon...
howfarfromnearmeisthesecenetwenty?
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