Thursday, April 28, 2011

A Quick Shot of Logic

A quick perusal of Wikipedia reveals the following:

Metropolitan Area Population
(Not to be confused
Metropolit area)

Winnipeg, Manitoba 694 668

Hamilton, Ontario 692,911

Quebec City, Quebec 715,515

Atlanta, Georgia 5,290,078

Phoenix, Arizona 4,192,887

Kansas City, Missouri 2.2 million

Las Vegas, Nevada 1,951,269

Seattle, Washington 3,407,848

Hartford, Connecticut 1,188,241

Yes, there is a built-in immediate fan base in all Canadian cities for hockey. However, why would any profit-driven organization EVER move a franchise out of a city with 4+ million people to a city with only 16% of that population?

It is the difference between having an immediate and steady but perpetually small cash flow and having a small initial flow with enormous future potential.

Of course Gary Bettman and the NHL are fighting like hell to keep hockey in Atlanta and Phoenix and aren't jumping at the chance to return to Winnipeg or Quebec City.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Uh Oh

(updated below)

Hold on to your assless chaps.

UPDATE: Actually, this TSN article says absolutely nothing. Keep calm and carry on.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Antropov Detailed after Hijack Attempt


April 25: A man (in white) from Kazakhstan is escorted by police as he leaves Fiumicino airport, northeast Rome. The man, using a knife, tried to hijack an Alitalia flight from Paris to Rome on Sunday night, demanding it be flown to Libya, but was quickly overpowered and arrested when the plane landed, officials and witnesses said."

Notice the center-parted coif and sandy-blonde hair? This Kazakhstani madman is OBVIOUSLY our very own Nik Antropov who was visiting Paris as part of the World Championships festivities.

The only reasonable conclusion is that Antro, desperate for some sense of stability, was attempting to divert the plane to Libya to negotiate with Colonel Quadaffi to purchase the Atlanta Thrashers, rename the team the Atlanta Jihaddists, and redesign the jerseys to include not a logo, but a vest of dynamite on the chest.

How would you like to see THAT crashing your crease, Cam Ward?

By the way, I am going to cease using as all .ly URL's are actually the property of the Libyan government.

More Glavine Buzz

Eliotte Friedman devotes two of his Thirty Thoughts today to a discussion with Tom Glavine about hockey and the Thrashers:

"28) Interviewed Tom Glavine for our Inside Hockey piece on Donald Fehr this season. He used to own a box and then several season tickets for Thrashers games, but gave them up as his kids got older and he had less time to go. (Two of his sons are good hockey players.) Several times while we were chatting he mentioned how badly he wanted them to succeed.

29) Glavine said one of the Thrashers' biggest problems was football season. Friday night: high school. Saturday: University[EDIT- (sic)] of Georgia.[EDIT-and Georgia Tech for people who prefer respectable players and organizations.] Sunday: Falcons. Tough to get fans against that."

I seriously doubt Tom Glavine would have the financial resources to buy the team on his own, but he could certainly spearhead a small investment group. Maybe Kincade is right about "The Balkan" whoever he is (not who we thought), and maybe not. But a winning team will be viable in this market.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Yeah...That's Our Bad.

As I'm driving home last night from work, I see a figure wandering along the shoulder of interstate 75. I look in the mirror, and I instantly pull off to the side of the road. As I approached this ragged road-weary traveler, I recognize the man to be a certain Mr. Peacock, famous editor of an World Renowned Hockey UberNewsTruthBlog.

"Morty! You look like shit! What's happened to you, man?"

He started rambling incessently, something about "bright lights, razor blades, and a Frenchman named Marcel" and then spontaneously starts singing "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M. as loud (and unbelievably off key) as he possibly can. The entire situation's extremely strange (even for Mortimer) and as we're standing on the side of 75, I continue to ask this rather disturbed man what's happened. Clearly, this is not the same man I once knew. He's merely a shell of his former self. A shell of the shell of his former self, even.

He starts scratching his head nonstop and pacing back and forth, and turns to me and says "It was all a lie!"

"A lie? What are you talking about Morty?"

"The cryptic messages, the Tweets, the Watergate type meetings and phone calls...all of it was a lie!"

I pause for a moment myself, unsure of what this all means.

Mortimer, in a fit of rage, grabs my skull and screams "We were wrong! There is no glorious savior to the Thrashers woes! We lied to the people! WE LIED TO THE PEOPLE!" and then he falls to the ground. An exhausted and broken man at the lowest of lows.

"It's okay, Morty. We were just given some bad information. It happens. But hey, there's this Glavine guy now..."

Mr. Peacock raises to his feet, shoots me a darting look and whispers "GLAVINE? GLAVINE?" and starts laughing a maniacal laugh. He picks up a rock from the side of the interstate and says "You really think a man from Massachusettes named GLAVINE can save us!? Here's what I think of that!" Mortimer throws the rock through the window of a passing minivan, causing the minivan to swerve from side to side and eventually go headfirst into the median. Roughly 20 other cars (all of them full of children, of course) follow suit, because that's the way people drive in Atlanta.

"Ok, maybe that was a bit unnecessary," the villianous Mr. Peacock says. "But if you want to hitch your hopes to a Yankee..."


"Whatever...if you want to hitch your hopes to this man, go right ahead. At this point, I don't even know what to believe anymore."

Mortimer then composed himself, walked to my car, turned, gave me a disapproving look, and promptly stole my car. As he sped off into the humid Atlanta evening, I'm left surveying the damage and destruction on a major roadway thats littered with fiery metaphors for people who believed what we told them laying askew. other words TBC audience...the guy we thought was buying the Thrashers isn't buying the Thrashers, and apparently he never even existed.

Our bad.

Enjoy your Good Friday. Here's a little fiery song from the AWESOME new Foo Fighters record to try to make it up to you.

Go Puck Yourself

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Tom Glavine Is Your New Atlanta Thrashers Overlord (Maybe)

(important update below)
Word on the street is that Tom Glavine is trying to put together a group of investors to purchase the Thrashers. He would probably be "part owner" or something, because he can't afford to buy the whole thing himself. This is good news, as Glavine is not only a hockey fan, but a former hockey player.

And most importantly, he was your editor's favorite Atlanta Braves player during your editor's boyhood. IN FACT, your editor was a Braves-lover long before he was seduced (by a blonde Slovak and a brunette Russian) into becoming a fan of this dipshit team (though hockey is definitely Earth's greatest sport*). SOUTHPAWZ 4EVER!

*As are baseball, soccer and tennis. Hockey is the favorite, though.


So There

Devin Setoguchi scored the game winner in overtime last night as the San Jose Sharks erased 4-0 and 5-3 deficits to take the series lead against the Los Angeles Kings.

In the 2010-2011 regular season, Setoguchi played in 72 games, scoring 22 goals and 19 assists.

Mark Staal has 1 assist and is -1 for the Rangers through 3 games in these playoffs. For the season, he played in 77 matchups scoring 7 goals and 22 assists.

Alex Bourret appeared in 16 games for High1 of Asia League Ice Hockey scoring 7 goals and 6 assists.

The Thrashers traded the #8 pick in 2005 (Setoguchi) for the #12 pick, then traded the #12 pick (Staal) for the #16 pick and chose Bourret.

That's right, the Thrashers got the guy who was at a point-per-game pace this year! Take that San Jose and New York!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Why Does Andrew Ladd Prefer Winning to Sunlight?

Chris Vivlamore has a word with current (and future, maybe? Probably not) Thrashers captain Andrew Ladd:

Q. Can Atlanta, a major city with the nice weather and such, be a major selling point for this team?

A. I think so but again the biggest thing is to know that you are coming to a successful team, a team that is headed in the right direction. I don’t think it matters much to anyone, the weather is nice, but at the end of the day winning hockey games is far more important. It takes a toll on you, mentally, losing. As a player, for me, it’s frustrating. It’s a tough year to go through, losing games. It’s not as much fun coming to the rink. When you are winning games, it’s fun coming to the rink. You have an extra kick in your step. That’s the most important thing for guys coming here.

The comments are full of exclamations along the lines of "get this deal done!" as if this situation is entirely a matter of whether or not the Thrashers want to sign Ladd to long-term extension. Certainly they do, but let's keep this in perspective by remembering a few key facts:

1) Ladd came here via a trade.

2) Ladd just had a career season and could use that (or "leverage" it, as they say in Business Horrorspeak) to get a lot of money, somewhere. Here or elsewhere.

3) The Thrashers, despite playing in a sunny climate, are yet to become a "successful team." Which Ladd thinks is important, for some reason.

4) Being a two-time Stanley Cup winner, Ladd probably hates losing (i.e. "Atlanta" and "the sun").


In other news, your TBC editor predicted long before the playoffs started (check here, in the comments section) that Vancouver would not only beat, but SWEEP, Chicago. Tonight we find out if I'm that guy in Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Interesting Statistic

The new CBA that marked the end to 2004-2005's lockout was supposed to herald a new era of parity in the NHL. Has it done so?

The 2011 playoffs is the sixth to commence under the new Collective Bargaining Agreement in this Salary Cap Era. Through six tournaments, only two teams, Toronto and Florida, have failed to reach the postseason at all.

Of 30 teams, the one from the largest hockey market and one from one of the smallest hockey markets have been the only never-rans.

There have also been five franchises who have only made one token dip into the playoff pool since 05: Atlanta, Columbus, the Islanders, Edmonton, and St. Louis.

Carolina, Minnesota, Phoenix, and Los Angeles have each waltzed on the dance floor twice. In the cases of the Coyotes and Kings, those two playoff berths took place in 2010 and 2011, evidencing a resurgence. Minnesota and Carolina look more like bubble teams making the playoffs once every two or three years.

Tampa, Dallas, Colorado, and Chicago have all made appearances in exactly half of the six salary cap era playoff tournaments.

The top half of the league, 15 teams, have made the playoffs at least four out of the six seasons since the lockout. Only Detroit, San Jose, and Anaheim have danced every year while New Jersey, Philadelphia, the Rangers, Montreal, Pittsburgh, and Nashville have only experienced an early offseason once since 2005. Ottawa, Buffalo, Washington, Boston, Calgary, and Vancouver have all missed the playoffs twice under the new CBA.

Among the "top half" of the league that has made the playoffs more than half the time since the lockout, 11 reside in traditional markets and 4 (San Jose, Anaheim, Nashville, and Washington) in non-traditional hockey cities. The "lower half" of the league, those teams that have made the playoffs 0-3 times in the last six years is more evenly divided between 7 traditional markets (Colorado, Chicago, Minnesota, Colombus, Long Island, Edmonton, and Toronto)and 8 non-traditional markets (Tampa, Dallas, Carolina, Phoenix, Los Angeles, Atlanta, St. Louis, and Florida.).

So is that parity? Half the league's teams, including only 4 "non-traditional market" franchises dominating the regular season while the other half, including two Original Six teams and eight "non-traditional market" teams finding failure most seasons?

For the record, I would argue that yes, this does reflect a league with a good amount of parity but a handful of franchises with inept leadership.

What do you think?

Oh those Crazy Canadians

Ah, TSN, how we love thee though we are occasionally forced into fits of laughter at your Canukistani-centric-ness.

Consider this hastily thrown together column predicting the first few picks in this summer's NHL Entry Draft posted after the New Jersey devils won the lottery and vaulted the Thrashers into the 4th spot.

Notice anything odd about it? Mr. Button gives us his prediction for the Oilers' top pick, the Avs and Panthers at 2 and 3, and the Devils, Islanders, and Senators at 4-7. Instead of moving on to the Atlanta Thrashers pick at number 8, he jumps directly to the next Canadian team in line, the Flames at 13.

(Luckily, Craig Button talks to himself while he types his columns and we have a bug in his office. It's staticy, but we were able to pull this off the transcript: "Ok, so that's the Oilers taking RNH you betcha. Then I had to talk aboot those other teams picking second through sixth before Ottawa, the team in the city where the nation of Canada keeps its capital so we can pretend to be independent of the United States; picks Adam Larssen. Let's see who's next there... ATLANTA? OH HOLY BEAVER-GOD, I CAN'T TAKE IT! WHY DON'T THEY JUST GIVE ALL 30 FIRST ROUND PICKS TO THE LEAFS!?!?")

Then today TSN reprints a story from the "Canadian Press" titled "Canucks Begin Run to the Cup with Win over Blackhawks." Notice the way that title concludes that the Canucks will be hoisting the Cup in early June. They're the best Canadian team in the playoffs, so WHAT ELSE COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN?

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

La Condition Thrashers*

Oh Thrashtards, we are so molested by woe.

The one time the Thrashers won the draft lottery (via Luck), they/we drafted that what's-his-name character, Ilya Ehrenburg or whoever.

Every other time we've participated in the draft lottery (i.e. Many Times) we've just ended up with Cam Fowler and Devin Setoguchi. PALTY, Thrashers, just paltry...


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Zee Battle for Lord Stanley

Apologies for the lack of TBC posts from yours truly, as Zach Bogosian's wretched pass that was intercepted by Michael Ryder (and subsequently turned into a penalty shot goal moments later) was the moment I fell off this year's Thrashers bandwagon. The end of the season, as you know, was fairly nauseating for the Thrashers. It pretty much appeared as though the team quit in the first week of March, and decided they didn't want to ruin their Chris Thornburn-led road trip to Deleware for mid April by actually hanging around in the standings. At least if you're going to go down fighting, do what the Devils did and play your ass off for every shift of every game.

Now we have a chance to draft 6th and pick up some other career 3rd/4th line player. Simmy Jlater is who were projected to draft, according to a text I received from the Thrashers' doorman, Rick Dudley. We'll see how Simmy adapts to the bright lights and sounds of Winnipeg in 2013.

ANYWAYS, so hockey resumes tomorrow night. It would be rude of us not to take time away from our belittling of bad hockey teams to acknowledge those teams this year who didn't play shit hockey. It's my opinion that you're going to see a Canucks-Sharks Western Conference Final, as long as the Canucks can withstand a fight by Chicago in a "There's no way this isn't going 7 games" series in the first round. In the East, I think you'll see the Capitals take on the Bruins in the Eastern Finals. Philly's loaded with forwards up front, but I don't believe in Sergei Cosmonaut in goal for the Flyers at all. Plus, part of me wants to see Ten Gallon play on a team that makes a run for a Stanley Cup.

So I think we'll see a Stanley Cup showdown between the Canucks and the Bruins. If this is the Stanley Cup Final, I literally call this a wash, as I think both teams match up brilliant. However, I say this is the year that the Bruins, their awesome marketing campaign, and Atlanta Thrashers Legend Rich Peverley take home the cup in 7.

What says you, TBC audience? Who's gonna win it all? Who's going home early? Will Zdeno Chara get shot by a sniper in Montreal? Will Pittsburgh continue to overachieve? Have you seen my keys? Let us know your thoughts...

Monday, April 11, 2011

El Futuro

So thanks to a win by Kovy's Devils, the Thrashers have fallen another spot in the standings on the last day of the regular season and will most likely have the sixth over all pick in this summer's draft. As Big Shooter points out, there is a 6.2% chance of picking second through winning the draft lottery. As that is a very small chance, we'll deal with that if it comes to pass.

While things are always very fluid when it comes to draft rankings and they become even harder to predict when you throw Rick "Alex Burmistrov is Obviously Better than Cam Fowler" Dudley in the mix, let's take a look at ISS's current Mister Six, Ryan Strome.

Strome is a 6'1, 183lb center who has played the last two seasons playing for the Niagra IceDogs of the Ontario Hockey League after being traded for Alex Pietrangelo in 2009. Only 17 years old right now, Strome has developed his game enough to make large strides statistically since entering the major junior fray.

GP G A Pts +/- PIM
2010-11 Regular Season Niagara IceDogs 65 33 73 106 28 82
2009-10 Regular Season Niagara IceDogs 27 3 10 13 -9 26
2009-10 Regular Season Barrie Colts 34 5 9 14 7 35
Source: Niagara IceDogs website.

From 27 points in 61 games to 106 points in 65 games a year later? That's some major improvement.

Hockey's Future lists him as a "riser" on the ISS top 30 and has this to say about him:
"Strome just continues to electrify the OHL this year and has been winning over even the harshest and most pessimistic critics as the season wears on. He is an ultra-intelligent and opportunistic playmaker who calculates his options extremely quickly and reacts even faster. Scouts and GMs love a player who can bounce back after disappointment and prove the doubters wrong and Strome continues to answer every and all questions about his abilities."

Important to note, since this is Rick Dudley we're talking about, the only mention of Russians in the ISS Top 30 are Alexander Khokhlachev at number 16, Artem Sergeev listed as a "riser" and Alex Kubaev, Nekita Kucherov, and Maxim Shalanov all listed as "fallers."

Sunday, April 10, 2011


We did it! What a season! God bless us, everyone!*

*MEANING: this season has been a dismal failure, worse even than our season last year. But whatever, now that Kovalsuck is gone at least we play as one gigantic Unit, or something. Huh huh, "unit"...

Friday, April 8, 2011


Your editor can't be at the game tonight, as he's going to be at another Atlanta sporting event. This is a shame, because next-to-last games of the season are always fun (?).

The Thrashers never make the playoffs, but at least they're occasionally capable of preventing bubble teams from making the playoffs. This is SOMETHING, right? It's totally not depressing what some people allow themselves to be content/pleased with...

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Is Today A GAME DAY?

No one can be sure. Continue to gaze into the Blingee below.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Some Guy To Save Thrashers

Has your favorite hockey team missed the playoffs every year of its existence save one (in which they won exactly 0 games)? Disillusioned with endless losing and fuckuppery? LUCKY YOU, we just signed some guy who worked as an extra in a college stage adaptation of Ferris Bueller's Day Off or something:

According to the Twitter accounts of both his agent (@nortonsports) and his school (@Ferrishockey), Thrashers prospect and Ferris State defenseman Zach Redmond has signed an entry-level contract with the team. Expect a press release in the near future.

Redmond was a seventh round pick in 2008 (184th overall) and has had an impressive college career, earning CCHA All-Star honors at Ferris State after spending two years in the USHL. His point totals were remarkably consistent in his four years at Ferris State as he scored 19, 24, 27 and 20 points for a total of 90 points in 141 college games. Not bad at all for a defenseman.

You hear that, motherfucker? Not bad at all! ZACH REDMOND IS NOT BAD AT ALL. HE WILL SAVE FERRIS.

Double Elimination

So the Thrashers have now been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, as the 8th place Rangers are at 91 points and the Thrashers would top out at 84 if they win all three remaining games.

The Thrashers are also now mathematically eliminated from contention for the #1 over-all pick in this year's draft. Through the draft lottery, any team has a chance to move up a maximum of four spots. That means that teams #30-25 have a shot (with varying and graduated degrees of probability) at the top pick.

At 78 points, the Thrashers can not be passed by the Oilers, Avalanche, Panthers, or Senators. The Islanders could match the Thrashers' 78 points and would then have identical 33-37-12 records. The tie breaker would then go to the Thrashers by virtue of winning the season series.

So even if the Thrashers were to lose the remaining games on the schedule (which their performance last night foreshadows), the best position they can hope for prior to the draft lottery is 6th. If lightning were to strike (the proverbial kind, not the kind that went 6-0 against Atlanta this season) and the Thrashers were to win the draft lottery, they would move up to the second over-all pick.

Chatter all year has been that this is going to be a very shallow draft. I have been hearing some rumblings lately that there might be a bit more talent out there than we had been lead to believe.

What do you good folks think Rick Dudley's offseason strategy needs to be? We all agree we need a new owner, so let's stick to the needs on the ice.

Saturday, April 2, 2011


(updated below)

Starting now!

Update: Et FIN, encore.