Thursday, October 9, 2008

Weirdest News Item of the Year

Remember Clint Malarchuk, the Buffalo Sabres goalie who got his neck slashed open in the middle of a game and nearly died on the ice? I would post the video, but even the Chronicle has some standards. I can't watch the thing without wanting to curl up into a ball and weep. His aorta is basically pelting out blood and painting the crease red. It IS the aorta, isn't it?

He did survive though. And he continued to play! I mean, after his neck had been stitched up.

Well, on Tuesday Clint found a way to get himself back in the news:

Former Buffalo Sabres goalie Clint Malarchuk apparently accidentally shot himself in the chin Tuesday with a .22-caliber rifle at his Fish Springs residence, according to the Record-Courier of Nevada.
Sweet Jesus.

UPDATE: Razor informs me that the vessel that was slashed was NOT the aorta but some other thing.


FrenchCatalogues said...

"Malarchuk's wife said when she arrived home from work her husband was in the backyard, and said he had been shooting rabbits with a .22 rifle. She said Malarchuk stood and placed the rifle butt on the ground between his legs and the rifle discharged, striking him in the chin. He reportedly was belligerent with paramedics and with health center staff, refusing treatment."

"Oh hey hunny, I was just shootin rabbits. Damn things are swift... BANG! Oh hey, it ain't bad, i've had my neck disappear. "

Razor Catch Prey said...

No, Morty, your aorta is the largest blood vessel in your body, and is directly connected to the heart. Sever that, and you have seconds to live. In the neck you have the jugular and a couple of others. Superior vena cava maybe? Not sure. There's only so much I remember from listening to one side of medical phone calls.

While the .22 to the chin probably hurt a lot, it is just a .22. They can be very dangerous if they get in through some soft tissue then bounce around inside, but if they hit bone and don't penetrate, they just hurt without causing major damage. I once met a guy who had been shot in the head 8 times with a .22. All at once, I hope. It'd be something if you pissed off multiple people on separate occasions enough that they shot you in the head.