Saturday, June 13, 2009

An Explanation, a Preview, and an Alliance (because this is war, after all)

I feel I should apologize to all the Chronicle's beloved regulars and appreciated irregulars for skipping out on this blog for an entire week with nary a word of warning (except a drunken comment sometime on Tuesday night, I think).

You see, after sending the Short Handed Mole to Florida and not getting word from him for several days, I felt compelled to travel downward and investigate. I took Monsieur Catalogues with me, because he has mole-detecting experience from his days in the Resistance.

Long story short: managed to find the Short Handed Mole somewhere along the coast of our own state of Georgia, in a bad state, then promptly arranged for him to be sent to a Trappist monastery for rehab, and spent the rest of the week in a hotel bar watching the Stanley Cup Finals and talking to quaint locals.

Also, my flesh was incinerated by some flame-throwing asshole who calls himself "the Sun," but the damage is said to be temporary.

Razor and Shooter did an excellent job holding down the fort, writing quality posts, and killing lamers (one) in the comments section with politeness.

Now then, just to give you all an idea of how things will go around here for the rest of the summer:

Posting will probably tick along at normal pace for the next two weeks. The draft-and-free-agency period is usually the busiest of the year, though, so expect all Chronicle scribes to be on their A-game and posting several times a day throughout late June and early July. After things settle down posting will probably be sporadic until the 09-10 seasons begins, but sporadic only by Chronicle standards. There'll still be new stuff every week.

But draft/free agency season, hells yeah and put on your dancing shoes and lock up your daughters.

Speaking of people's daughters: something that's been missed in the recent War on Letterman is that the "A-Rod knocks up Palin daughter" joke was plagiarized from the Chronicle. Which may explain why the joke wasn't exactly Dave at his best. During the election, I'm sure you'll remember, I made a nearly-identical joke when Sarah Palin dropped the puck at that Flyers game. Replace A-Rod with Mike Richards and you have the very same haw haw gag!

Not that this bothers me. The Chronicle (possibly including Razor?) are big Dave fans, and would like to take this opportunity to offer Dave our assistance and friendship in his just war against humorless, pedantic ideologues.* And Conan O'Brien.

*I would have--and HAVE, in fact--said the exact same thing about liberals who can't take a well-crafted (or badly-crafted, come to that) joke about Clinton and blow jobs. I won't even mention what I was forced to do to the retards who blew a gasket over the Barack-and-Michelle-as-Terrorists New Yorker cover.

1 comment:

Razor Catch Prey said...

I occasionally enjoy Letterman, but have never been a huge fan. That being said, I don't really understand the uproar. Not saying I disagree with the uproar, either, just that I don't understand it because of lack of information.

Some folks have said they are upset because they interpreted it as him saying Palin's 14 year old daughter was raped by Rodriguez. If the entire joke was really the quick quip that "Palin's daughter was then knocked up by A-rod," then I don't see any element of rape in there, so calm the hell down. As for it being about the 18 year old vs. the 14 year old, that depends on the circumstances. Were both of them there?

Leaving out the over-reactionary "rape" inference, I think it's out of bounds to say something like that about a 14 year old, but if he was referring to Bristol, then people need to grow thicker skin.