Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Thrashers to Purchase Humans in the Summer

What a shame it is to awake from vivid dreams of spending time with PJ Harvey on a windswept Cornish manor overlooking the sea and then have to trudge one's pig flu-ridden car to the Chronicle's rented office space. But I've got my whiskey-spiked Coke Zero to keep me awake, plus Roger Federer on the computer screen, serving right next to this post I'm typing. Hey, speaking of Federer, if you like tennis in any way (probably not) you should read this David Foster Wallace piece from a few years ago, "Roger Federer as Religious Experience." As a super-tough hockey fan, you run the risk of actually transforming into a gay with a vocabulary upon reading it, but I recommend it nonetheless:

For almost two decades, the party line’s been that certain advances in racket technology, conditioning, and weight training have transformed pro tennis from a game of quickness and finesse into one of athleticism and brute power.
How, then, someone of Federer’s consummate finesse has come to dominate the men’s tour is a source of wide and dogmatic confusion.
Like Ali, Jordan, Maradona, and Gretzky, he seems both less and more substantial than the men he faces. Particularly in the all-white that Wimbledon enjoys getting away with still requiring, he looks like what he may well (I think) be: a creature whose body is both flesh and, somehow, light.

How true. But it's time to get to the Hockey business:

Thing is, famous Massachusetts Bay Colony Puritan rag the Boston Herald reported yesterday that local hockey company the Boston Bruins have signed center David Krejci to a handsome contract, because he's the second coming of Steve Yzerman, among others. This is a good idea, as Krejci really IS an awesome player and will probably get much better. The problem, as ever, is cap space, and there's word the Bruins might unload famous athletes like Marc Savard and Phil Kessel.

And just yesterday Thrashers co-owner Michael Gearon Jr. was quoted in the Atlanta Business Chronicle saying, "the team is committed to re-signing its star left wing, Ilya Kovalchuk, as well as finding a dominant center and finding immediate-impact players in the upcoming draft."

Many are speculating that this surely means Marc Savard, who has only one year left on his contract, will return to Atlanta any day now and bring young Phil Kessel with him.

This is probably all nonsense.

[Boston Herald, Blueland Blog]

UPDATE: Goodness me that Federer is the man. Some of you out there in the Internet really should read that Foster Wallace essay; it has a lot to say about his rivalry with Nadal, their radical differences, etc. If I had to put it crudely, Federer=Gretzky while Nadal=Messier.


FrenchCatalogues said...

I want Savvy back, and we should get Kessel. Give them one of Hank Aaron's dealerships, and that should do it.

Razor Catch Prey said...

Savvy would actually work pretty well as a used car salesman. I can picture him as Bill Paxton's character from True Lies.

Jay said...

Wow, the thoughts of Savard AND Kessel with the Thrashers gets me hard. Uhh, in a totally non-gay way, of course. Um, I think I'll just go back to watching tennis now...

Mortimer Peacock said...


I think it makes us all hard. I just don't expect it to happen...but then again, whut duz i KNOW?

No way the Bruins will give up Kessel at this early, inexpensive point in his career. Savard returning is actually more possible than Kessel, I reckon.

Jay said...

I think it's time that Waddell uses the assets that an 8th ranked prospect system provides. He got an extra 2nd and/or 3rd round pick for Schneider. Package a few draft picks and some prospects for Savard. That helps Boston's cap issue, Atlanta keeps the 4th overall(and drafts Evander Kane), and Boston gets the opportunity to get a few extra picks. Win-Win.

Mortimer Peacock said...

I actually like that idea a lot.

It's not like our scouts are going to actually DO anything with our 2nd and 3rd rounders.