Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Shootin' at the Walls of Heartache, BANG BANG!

Alright then, SJ Sharks. Last night you probably saw the Capitals score all those goal things and prevent the Rangers from doing the same. They achieved this with a rookie Russian goalie...it just so happens that YOU, the Sharks of San Yosef, have a Russian goalie too, who was also once an impressive Russian rookie goalie. Nabokov has gotten only more impressive over his career, but he needs to be even better tonight. Better, even, than Alpine fortress Jonas Hiller. 

What you need is a shutout. Against the Ducks, that is.

Also, a suggestion (who am I to offer suggestions to Todd McLellan, an important coach of the Hockey who looks like he spends summers hopping freight trains and playing his banjo for runaways and escaped convicts? Why, Blueland Chronicle editor Mortimer J. Peacock, that's who!): take Christian Ehrhoff off the power play; put Rob Blake in. 

Another piece of advice. People keep going on about the success of splitting Marleau-Thornton-Setoguchi so as to create three scoring lines. In what way is this successful? I mean, scoring lines that don't score are interesting, maybe, when you're hanging out at burlesque shows and avant-garde circuses, but this isn't art school dammit. This is the playoffs! I like the Roenick-Thornton-Cheechoo combination as much as the next man, but I'm not sure how wise it is to separate the speed and finesse of Marleau from the physicality and passing ability of Thornton.

Oh Christ this is tedious, isn't it? Is there anything worse than some douche-hat on the Internet making proclamations about how sports teams should organize their affairs? 

Let's just end this with some inspiration, shall we? Get it done tonight, Sharkpeople, get it done. Shoot at the walls of heartache!

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