Sunday, September 13, 2009

Heatley Demands Trade from Sharks

Blueland Chronicle sources are chasing down a story that Dany Heatley has demanded a trade from the San Jose Sharks. Sources say due to some "personal reasons that I don't want to discuss", Heatley has asked out of town.

Indications are that Dany has demanded Jim Balsillie to buy a yet unidentified NHL team and move them to his summer home in Kelowna, BC. Heatley will only accept a trade to this team. League sources have confirmed the team would be named the Kelowna Community Servicers. According to Heatley, he enjoyed his time in San Jose, he thanked the fans and organization, but felt it was best for all parties involved to move on.

Fans in San Jose are outraged. They supported Heatley for nearly a full 24 hours, and feel slighted by his request. Heatley's parents have come out against the fans, and in support of their son. "Dany is such a good boy, I just don't understand all the negative feelings towards him", his mother was heard saying. She continues, "I mean, he always ate all of his supper growing up. I told him he couldn't have any ice cream unless he finished dinner. He would say, 'ok Mommy.' And he plays for Canada. I just don't understand why the entire world hates my little boy".

Heatley's father had this to say, "Look, just because he skipped out on the Swiss team he played for during the lockout, demanded a trade from Atlanta, demanded a trade from Ottawa, and now has demanded a trade from San Jose, people shouldn't judge him. I mean, come on, that coach in San Jose hasn't even played him in a game yet. What do you expect Dany to do? Just sit there and wait until the season starts? Give me a break."

When reached for comment, Heatley had this to say:



More on this story as it develops...

3 comments:

Jay said...

I'm Dany fuckin' Heatley. Hilarious.

GoPuckYourself said...

I had to do a double take when I read the headline because for about half a second, I thought "this could actually be happening."

I wish he had gone to Buffalo. They seem to enjoy taking in D-bag athletes with a diva complex. Heatley and TO could've been best friends.

Daculafan said...

The youtube clip was priceless...awesome...