Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Do We Really Need to Do This Again?

Very Important Man

I mean, so soon after the Proteau Affair?

Alas, comrades, cliché and conformism are unresting beasts.

Today's offender is Mike Brophy of Sportsnet. He's put together a very important list of the Top 50 Best Players in the NHL, as determined by Mike Brophy. I can't help but be fascinated by this entry:

25. Ilya Kovalchuk

A one-dimensional scoring ace on an otherwise awful team needs both support and a better understanding of how to play a more complete game to reach his potential. Otherwise he'll remain a novelty act.


Really, I mean really, what's the point of becoming a writer if your entire raison d'être is to think other people's thoughts, type other people's words, and pull out reliable stock phrases and thought-clichés every time you greet your keyboard?

There must be a hockey journalist's thesaurus somewhere, where the entries ILYA KOVALCHUK and ATLANTA THRASHERS handily include synonyms like "otherwise awful team," "needs support," and "more complete game."

Which brings us to another quarrel I have with Planet Hockey Writer. I've talked about this before, but why in the hell do people write as if there are only two options under the sun: either a hockey player is Super OMFG Complete or just "one dimensional?" There are some complete players in the NHL. There are also some one dimensional players. Kovalchuk is neither. He's a dude with a lot of hockey skills, the greatest of which is goal-scoring, but he's not a complete player. But "not complete" doesn't automatically equal "one dimensional," for goodness' sake.

And finally, how the hell does anyone "remain a novelty act?" Isn't the whole point of a "novelty act" that its novelty expires after a short while?

These people, these people...

6 comments:

Daculafan said...

Stay militant brother!!...I'm sick of these guys who pan anything remotely connected with Atlanta hockey. I guess the only way to shut them up is to win a Stanley Cup...that Kovy will go from being a novelty to being Enigmatic..

Rawhide said...

Won't you all join me in a group mooning of Mike Brophy...

( | ) Kiss my arse Brophy!

C. Michael said...

WBF-Happy to come over to the dark side.

The best thing to do is ignore these idiots. There's nothing you can say to change them, they are only interested in 2 things-putting down any franchise south of the border (U.S.-Canadian) and hijacking one of our teams to that sewer, slimy crap hole of the Western World-Hamilton, Ontario. What a bunch of turds.

FrenchCatalogues said...

Novelty act, I mean I did get my Kovy jersey at Spencer's at North Point Mall

Big Shooter said...

WBF - glad to have you and if you are who I think you are, pleasure to meet you last night.

We should ignore them, but the Chronicle is a war blog and will not stand for such nonsense...

Mortimer Peacock said...

WBF-

Welcome! And don't be a stranger. I would like to ignore them, but the Chronicle is, indeed, a war blog, and our mission is to fight unthinking, boring tripe in the hockey press. That way it doesn't pass unchallenged...

Anyway, glad to have you!