Enough to Make me Boycott Heroes

NBC has decided that USA vs. Canada in hockey isn't worthy of prime time coverage on broadcast TV.

That's right. Kane, Drury, and seven guys named Ryan playing for their country against the Beaver God worshiping canuckle draggers Crosby, Brodeur, and Niedermayer is second fiddle to the excitement that is ICE DANCING.

Check out the TV listings for January 21.

If you don't have MSNBC, you won't be able to see the USA/Canada game, so make plans to head out somewhere. Rawhide has mentioned a viewing party at TJ's.

In the meantime, send angry letters and boxes of dirty diapers to NBC in protest of this programming decision.

The Age of Lehtonen: SO OVER

OK, so let's get this straight.

Here's a list of human hockey-playing people, presented without commentary:

Patrik Stefan (retired)
Dany Heatley (San Jose Sharks)
Ilya Kovalchuk (NJ Devils)
Kari Lehtonen (Dallas Stars)
Jim Slater (Atlanta Thrashers)
Braydon Coburn (Philadelphia Flyers)
Boris Valabik (Atlanta Thrashers)
Alex fucking Bourret (not to be confused with Devin Setoguchi, Anze Kopitar, or Marc Staal)
Bryan Little (Atlanta Thrashers)
Zach Bogosian (Atlanta Thrashers)
Daultan Leveille (um)
Evander Kane (Atlanta Thrashers)

Tune in next week for the End of the Bryan Little Era. At least Ivan Vishnevskiy was a 1st rounder.

****

As with with the Kovalchuk trade, FACETIOUSNESS IS NOT ANALYSIS, so perhaps I should elaborate.

I'm not saying this is a bad trade. Or a good trade. I'm agnostic about Kari: when in shape he's awesome, when injured and fat he's not. I do think it's slightly weird to trade him without playing him, though the argument that it's best to be prudent and not a risk a loss with a rusty goalie in net is a tenable one. This Ivan Vishnevskiy is someone I'd never heard of before tonight, but that means literally nothing, and it sounds like he's a talented dude. On the other hand, I expect nothing just because Hockey's Future told me something. Following the Thrashers has me a hockey player skeptic.

Meanwhile, the Tampa Bay Lightning just cold fuckin' defeated the Vancouver Canucks, despite the best efforts of Ryan Kesler. They currently sit at #6 in the Eastern Conference with 63 points. Tune in the week after next for the end of the Zach Bogosian Era.

Kari On The Move?

Big sale on trucknuts:

Reasons to be Grateful

It's easy to be cold, pessimistic, and full of malice when you're the fan of a historically bad sports team. It's easy to be bewildered and sick-of-it-all exhausted when said sports team is in an uncertain position both financially and competitively, especially after they've just traded away their star player but remain in playoff contention by the skin of their teeth. As Hamlet once wondered about his favorite hockey team: should we hope? Could hope be false and self-deceiving? The existential questions here can be maddening and ennui-inducing.

But then you're walking along, through the rain perhaps, keeping your own counsel, when all of a sudden you go "Whoa hey Lindsey Vonn in a Vancouver sauna" and all is in accord.

Can't wait for the Olympics. And not just the Hockey.

"That bird is unloading!" Scene 10 and Scene 11

Scene 10

(morning light breaking through the curtains in Maxim Afinogenov’s room. Max laying on a made but ruffled bed, fully clothed. He’s even wearing his hat, though his glasses are crooked. A fair bit of noise coming from the next room. “I heard you!” says a male voice. “I don’t think you did, you good-for-nothin’ son of a varmint!” says a female voice. This exchange is followed by a loud crash. Max sits up, looks concerned.)

FEMALE VOICE

I’m leavin’!

(male groans unintelligibly. Another loud crash. Max puts his ear to the wall and looks horrified but curious)

MALE VOICE

(slurred) You ain’t really leavin’; come on back here to Jimmy. Come on now. How come it is you’re leavin’?

FEMALE VOICE

You can’t stop drinkin’, Jimmy! It’s as obvious as a parakeet in pantaloons!

(Look of recognition crosses Max’s face.)

MAXIM

(whispering to himself, still listening through the wall) The hotel owner?

FEMALE VOICE

Lowlife. Always the lowlife’s!

MAXIM

(to himself) Or is it lowlives?

(door in next room slams. Angry heels clomping down the corridor. Max backs away from the wall and, hesitating for a second and then eagerly, opens his door and peers down the hallway. He recognizes the disgruntled lady as one of Marty’s Party Girls, given her blue dress. All of a sudden the door next to him opens and out walks Jimmy Slates, who happens to be clutching his head.)

MAXIM

(trying to appear like he heard nothing) Oh, good morning, Mr. Slates. A fine day for one of your hotel breakfasts, I’m sure.

JIMMY

(still holding his head. Both eyes closed. Clearly suffering from a bad hangover, perhaps still drunk) They have the worst timing, Mr. ‘Fin. The worst timing.

MAXIM

A rough night, then?

JIMMY

The night was great; it’s the mornings she realizes I ain’t good for nothin’.

(silence)

JIMMY

You have a girl, Mr. ‘Fin?

MAXIM

(fumbles with his glasses, looks uncomfortable in the extreme) Um, ah, uh, yes. Yes I do, as a matter of fact.

JIMMY

Why didn’t she come with you to Thrasherville?

MAXIM

(polishing his glasses, still uncomfortable, but suddenly wistful) She’s uh, elsewhere. Has some things to do. I was hoping to come out here and make a quick dollar, then maybe she and myself could move to someplace nice. We write.

JIMMY

Well, if you’re ever lonely there’s more than a few girls here in Thrasherville who can keep you company, just ‘til you see her again. If you know what I mean! (nudges Max knowingly, then looks extremely pained and resumes his head-clutching)

MAXIM

Oh I couldn’t do that. Don’t have the temperament for it.

JIMMY

The temperwhat?

MAXIM

The, uh, never mind.

JIMMY

Well, Mr. ‘Fin, I gotta lay down a little bit. Any big plans for the day?

MAXIM

I’m supposed to be visiting the bank today.

JIMMY

You best not be pullin’ a stick-up! (laughs, then grimaces. He is in pain. He retires to his room. Maxim walks away.)

Scene 11

(Maxim walking down the dusty main street of Thrasherville in the harsh morning sun. He passes a clergyman, some greasy gold-diggers on their way to have their discoveries weighed and valued, and a trio of Mexican schoolgirls. Max manages an enthusiastic “Buenos dias!” before coming upon a large crowd gathered outside the town bank. The Thrasherville townsfolk are jabbering indignantly to one another. Max cranes his neck and surveys the scene. He’s looking for someone he recognizes. Finally his eyes---through the sea of cowboy and bowler hats and mustaches [some weak, some impressive]---fall on Pavel Kubina. He approaches his train ride buddy.)

MAX

What’s all this about?

PAVEL

Something about the town sheriff, your compatriot.

MAX

Kovalchuk?

PAVEL

Yes.

(Cut to a hapless bank teller standing at the front of the bank trying to calm the crowd. He bears more than a passing resemblance to Todd White.)

MAX

Is that man a banker?

PAVEL

I believe so. “Whitey,” they call him.

WHITEY

Come on now, folks, I mean...come on now. Let’s get un-riled, huh? How ‘bout that? Imagine you’re dunking your head in cool water and, and, uh--- (the crowd’s jeers and hisses drown him out)

MAX

And to think I was meant to open an account today...

(someone in the crowd calls out “Tell us what’s happening! Is he coming back?” The main topic of the crowd noise seems to be the whereabouts of Sheriff Kovalchuk, though one man, particularly loud, is shouting insults at Whitey the Bank Teller. He wears a purple cravat.)

MAX

Who’s the fellow in the cravat being so rude to the bank teller?

PAVEL

Oh, a journalist from the Thrasherville Journal. Willy Tilly, I think his name is.

MAX

Why’s he being so dismissive of this Whitey?

(empty milk carton flies through the air, hits Whitey on the forehead)

PAVEL

Mucked up his finances, I think. But Tilly is a gambler. He’s in Marty’s a lot I hear; I’m sure he’ll win it all back.

MAX

You sure do know a lot of stuff about Thrasherville for someone who’s only been here a few days.

PAVEL

It’s elementary, Maxim. When you have the connections I have, that is. Hey, let's go get a drink.

(Maxim and Pavel walk down the street a bit, to a bar called Thrash’s. They enter. Mostly empty except for a giant bird tending the bar. They sit down.)

PAVEL

Pilsner for me.

MAXIM

Um, a water for now, please.

(camera remains on Pavel and Max, but the shot prominently includes a giant yellow beak nodding in acknowledgement. The bird obliges. Pavel takes a long swig of the Pilsner. Maxim sips his water.)

PAVEL

We’ve come to a strange town, Maxim, a strange town.

MAXIM

Well, yes. That much is obvious. It’s not without charm, though.

PAVEL

You’re right, it does have some charming qualities. Often the strange and the charming are one and the same.

(silence. Max nods, slowly.)

MAXIM

So what were you saying about your connections? Did you already know some people before you came here?

PAVEL

No. My connections are, shall we say, less obvious.

MAXIM

I’ll say. What the hell are you talking about?

PAVEL

The occult, Maxim, the occult.

(The bar-tending bird looks up from his bar-polishing.)

PAVEL

(watching the bird out the corner of one eye, waiting for him to return to washing.) Where I come from, this stuff is available to anyone who seeks it. Prague is full of people who can teach you all about it. Second sight, the evil eye, magic, ghostly visitation...

MAXIM

Please! You’ve got to be kidding. Yes, I’ve heard all about Magic Prague, its alchemists and golems and tarot-readers and all that nonsense. It’s great for storytelling, but it’s not real.

PAVEL

(stone-faced) It is real, Maxim.

MAXIM

So are you telling me you’re some kind of clairvoyant? A visionary or second-sighter or something?

PAVEL

That’s more or less right.

MAXIM

(exhaling loudly and tapping his glass of water) Bartender! Whiskey, whiskey please.

PAVEL

I’m telling you, Max, I know what’s going on behind the scenes in this town. In the mayor’s office, in the rooms of the railroad magnates and mine-owners. Among the cowboy gangs and the stupid (he stresses that word) cops.

MAXIM

The police here aren’t stupid. That Peverley fellow, the one with the ten gallon hat, he’s an honest and decent man. The littler deputy, what’s his name?

PAVEL

Deputy Little.

MAXIM

He seems amiable enough. The other deputy is a bit brusque, but he’s a cop isn’t he? And besides, the police force here has hired me to do some detective work. They can’t be all that bad.

PAVEL

That’s the problem. They need a detective and they don’t know just what a fine resource they have in you. I can teach you, Maxim. I can help you solve crimes.

MAXIM

(scornfully) Through magic?

PAVEL

I can see things other people can’t. With your intellect and my, um, special abilities, we can bring the rule of law to this town.

MAXIM

(drinking his whiskey) It’s not like the town’s in a state of chaos or anything.

PAVEL

(looking suddenly perturbed) Maxim?

MAXIM

Yes?

PAVEL

Duck.

(at that instant a wooden barrel shatters the front window and crashes into the bar, knocking all kinds of bottles onto the floor, spilling different kinds of liquor into a streaming pool of different colors. The crowd gathered outside the bank is rioting. The bird bartender pulls a shotgun from under the bar and heads towards his broken window. He starts firing. Pavel and Max are face-down on the wooden floor, crawling towards the back of the room.)

MAXIM

(glancing up at the front window) Good Lord! That bird is unloading! (To Pavel) How could you possibly know that barrel was coming?!

(Pavel looks at Max.)

MAXIM

Holy shit.

Kari Lehtonen is Your New Kari Lehtonen

Well, not quite yet. He's been recalled from his conditioning assignment with the Chicago Wolves, and who knows what happens now. A trade that will involve one of our three goalies, obviously, but who?

It seems like Don Waddell has been down on Kari for some time now (probably as a result of the team being down on him), but even with all of Kari's faults and constant injuries I'm not sure that trading him would be the wisest thing. We've heard a lot of chatter in the last week or so about to the effect that Kari will never play another game as a Thrasher, and that he'll likely be traded even though his present trade value is nil.

Is it really a good idea to trade him now without playing him, to effectively trade him for nothing?

Wouldn't it be more prudent to give him some playing time and see what he can do? I doubt it would be an all-out disaster, and it would lead to one of two scenarios (both of them better than just casting him off without playing him): 1) we sign him for dirt cheap and he plays well in the near future, or 2) he plays and thereby increases his trade value, and we trade him for something more than nothing.

What do all of you think? Get rid of Kari now or give the boy some playing time? Which of our many goalies would you trade? Hmm?

Ridiculousness Never Ends

***EDIT***

So apparently I was wrong, as everyone has delighted in pointing out. The Blues really were trying to get Kovy in a trade just so they could negotiate with him while he played meaningless games on a team that has almost no hope of making the playoffs this year. So the real story here is that John Davidson is on crack.

***Blatantly incorrect post below.***


Even after the trade has come and gone, some folks just can't quit throwing crazy rumors out there about teams that wanted Kovalchuk. Check out this piece from The Fourth Period.

They claim that the Blues wanted to trade for Kovy. That's right, the same Blues who have no shot of making the playoffs and are trying to sell off Paul Kariya. According to TFP, they weren't looking to get him as part of a quixotic attempt to make the playoffs this year, but instead they wanted the chance to negotiate a long term deal with him.

Everyone in the league knows that Kovy is asking for 20% of the cap. At this point, he's not going to accept anything less from Atlanta, New Jersey, or any other hypothetical team that could have acquired his rights. So either the Blues were willing to offer him the max, which would be insane (and John Davidson is not insane), or this story is total crap.

I still subscribe to Big Shooter's analysis of this whole situation that says "if DW had iced a contender for the last 5 years, Kovy wouldn't demand 11.3 million per year to stay here." Looking just at this immediate situation though, I am starting to see that DW probably couldn't have garnered any more in a trade than he did. With all the teams knowing that Kovy was going to July 1 as a UFA no matter what, he really was the epitome of a "rental player." Why do we rent DVD's? Because we don't want to pay full price for something we're only going to watch once.

Maybe if DW had realized six months ago that Kovy wasn't going to back off of his demand we could have gotten my dream trade of Kesler, Cory Schneider, and Jordan Schroeder. But he didn't, and he ended up trading away 25 games worth of Kovy, not 82, and the price for only 25 games is Bergfors, Cormier, and a first round pick. Apparently the price of Oduya is Peanut and swapping second round picks.

Also: Official Editorial Position on the Super Bowl

Go Saints!

And now to Krisabelle's and Mr. Speaker's, for some beer and cookies.

Gary Bettman Observes, Recognizes Reality

Looks like Mr. Gary has finally noticed that the Thrashers' owners are wrecking the NHL's chance to cultivate a strong market in Atlanta.

“Ultimately, the ownership situation has to be straightened out,” Bettman told the Journal-Constitution. “It’s difficult to operate a franchise when owners aren’t getting along. It’s even more difficult in a recession climate. A team has to be at its very best. Issues have to be resolved and everybody has to be together so they can interact with fans. But that’s difficult when the owners aren’t together.”

INDEED. Amazing that Gary actually knows that if a business/organization/whatever is blundering miserably, it's probably best to look to the owners and not to indulge the peasant mentality that scapegoats one person as the reason for every ill. Now, if only something can actually be accomplished and the ownership problem rectified...

Niclas Bergfors is Your New Lawn Mower

Well well well, VERY impressive. I couldn't be at last night's game on account of some thing I had to go to, but looking at the highlights I'm positively outraged I wasn't there. The game looked thrilling, the crowd was large and into it, and best of all was that pretty Niclas Bergfors goal. He is truly the next Markus Naslund.

Actually, I don't want to get too far ahead of myself. Let's see what happens against some of the higher-standing teams. But a splendid effort last night, yes indeed, you don't need me to tell you this.

Also sorry I couldn't make the season ticket holders' town hall meeting with Don Waddell. Reading the recap over at BWA and listening to the reports of our own Big Shooter, it sounds like...I don't know, most town hall meetings. These things never quite ascend into tar-and-feather, pitchfork-wielding insurrection. Oh well. Waddell deserves credit because he's responsible in the most literal sense: he responds to fans' questions, pleasant or unpleasant. He makes himself answerable. Nonetheless, I would take anything he says with 1) some measure of respect, because he obviously knows what's going on, and 2) a grain of salt, because he has a very strong interest in shaping the facts to suit his purposes.

Glancing back over the reports of what went on, I'm shocked there was no one who stood up and confidently said, "Hey Don, thanks for doing this. I don't really care about Kovalchuk being traded; I just gotta ask: Why'd you have to get rid of Anssi Salmela?"

GAME DAY: Panthers

Ilya Kovalchuk?






More like...







Ilya...







KovalSUCK!






HAW HAW HAW Imakemyselflaugh.

I guess the loss last night wasn't exactly unexpected. There's always the Panthers, right? Them those funny Panthers, with they claws n' paws n' yowls of swamp frightenin'...ahead of us in the standings n' whatnot.


On a more depressing, life-is-ruled-by-meaningless-chance note: if you follow the hockey news at all, I'm sure you've already heard about the death of Brian Burke's son Brendan last night. It's horrible and baffling when anyone dies young, of course, but it's impossible to think about this tragedy without remembering another layer of sad poignancy: that the young Mr. Burke and his coming-out were the subject of an excellent John Buccigross story just a little while ago. I highly recommend it, for the Reading. Sounds like he was a brave lad. Hopefully one that will pave the way for others.

Oh Yeah, We Actually Have a Game Today

and it's against the Washington Capitals in WashingtonCapitalLand, just down the street from the International Spy Museum and that Red Roof Inn frequented by prostitutes.

First game of the post-Kovalchuk era and the dawning of the Oduya Era. This can be fun, right? We're into this...I'M into this, right?

The Blueland Chronicle Tool

Well, kids... remember this post back in the day. You know, when I called out Rory Boylen of The Hockey News for thinking Kovy might not re-sign. I proceeded to call him all sorts of names, my favorite being "weenie". Rory, being a bigger man than myself, popped in to join the fun on our blog. Rory and I have kept up being new found friends since then via the e-mail machine.

Rory even checked in earlier today to see how we were doing after the big trade (via the Blueland Chronicle hate e-mail address):

Big Shooter,

Sad day in Thrasherville?

--Rory

It's always good to see when someone gets the joke and has a little fun with it.

Just wanted to publicly say, Big Shooter was wrong. He is also a first class Tool, Douche Bag, Asshat, and Weenie.

Shame on Everyone

“This isn’t a knock on Kovy, but Kovy’s been here eight years and we still haven’t won a playoff game,” Waddell said. “This team has to take a different identity. We’ve built around one player for a long time now. It’s time to build this around a team. I think this gives us an opportunity to do it."

OK. Where to begin? Shame on Don Waddell. I know he has been given some really bad luck. I know he offered a lot of money to Kovalchuk. But, did you read that quote? My response is this: Don Waddell has been here for 12 years and we still haven't won a playoff game. This team has to take a different identity. We've had one GM for a long time now. It's time to build this team with a different GM. I think this gives us an opportunity to do it (this isn't a knock on Don).

Shame on the ASG. Whatever the reality is, the perception is this is a cluster****. And where I come from, perception is reality. The reason Kovy didn't take $101 million is because this ownership is so screwed up and has never put a winning team on the ice. If we had been successful, I really think Kovy would have signed for $101 million a long time ago. So much has been said about the ASG, if I say any more I'll just be repeating myself.

Shame on Kovy. You said all along you wanted to be a Thrasher for life. The little tid bit you left out was, "I want to be a Thrasher for life, but only for the max contract". I'm sorry Kovy, but that information would have been very helpful, oh... say, AROUND A YEAR AGO. It's OK to make as much money as you can. It really is. But he should have been up front about it so we could have dealt with this last summer and gotten a much better return. Is there a difference between $135 million and $101 million? I suppose there is. I just hope his kids have enough to eat.

Shame on everyone. I've been here from Day 1. I've seen all the lows, and I've seen the high (with no s, mind you). I'm not leaving now, but serious changes need to be made. All these new guys, they could turn into something. We could make the playoffs. Or, it could turn out like the Hossa trade. We could easily tank and end up with a top 5 pick. If that happens and we win the lottery, we get to draft Taylor Hall.

And then eight years later we get to hear about how trading Taylor Hall finally gives the Thrashers a shot at an identity. That the spare parts are really going to make us a better team, and that everything is going to be OK.

Do you want to go through that again? Neither do I.

Oduya, Bergfors, and Cormier Are Your New Ilya Kovalchuk

To New Jersey: Ilya Kovalchuk, Anssi Salmela

To Atlanta: Johnny Oduya, Niclas Bergfors, Patrice Cormier, 1st round pick

IMPORTANT ANALYSIS: Oduya's quite good, Bergfors might be good, and Cormier is insane. The 1st rounder will be quite late (perhaps the final two?) and will bring us another Jimmy Slater. This is the most retarded sports team of all time.

EDIT: Perhaps I should elaborate. Cormier might someday be as good as that dude without an ACL. Also, DW has spoken to a camera: He looks like he's about to cry throughout. I sympathize with the guy, but the honorable thing to do now is step aside and become President of Hockey Operations or whatever. All the Waddell Regency has to show for the last 10 years is Johnny Oduya, and perhaps Enstrom. Kane and Bogosian don't count because anyone would have chosen them with those draft picks. The Thrashers' woes aren't primarily his fault, but it's time to resign.

Kevin Allen is right in saying the Thrashers got a good return for a rental player. It is a good return for a rental player, if the rental player was your average rental player and not Ilya Kovalchuk. I mean, really: who do you think won this trade? From now until the playoffs the central story in the NHL is going to be "Whoa hey isn't it awesome that Kovalchuk and Brodeur and Parise all play on the same team?"

All that said, I can't imagine Ilya Kovalchuk in a New Jersey Devils jersey.

And yes, this is probably the best return we could get. The point, as ever, is the bigger picture. What was that line from William Empson? "The waste remains, the waste remains and kills" or something like that?

Tonight, we are all victims of the Upper Dildo.

Kovalchuk Traded to Devils, for Johnny Oduya and Hopefully Some Other People

(updated below)




Via ESPN on the teevee, Pierre LeBrun says that David Clarkson might be included.

****

More than one writer has tweeted that Kovy hasn't even gotten the call yet. Could DW be SPITING his former superczar?

****

What does Pierre LeBrun know? Perhaps a lot, but the pre-confirmation Tweeting Consensus is that we've traded Kovalchuk for Johnny Oduya, Niclas Bergfors, prospect Mattias Tedenby, and a 1st round pick. 3 Swedes.

****

SCRATCH THAT SHIT.


****

Ah, a dispute:


****

ALL THE CANADIANS ARE FUCKING WRONG:


Let these Twitter screen shots stand as an eternal testament.

****

Oh, Bob, do you have to rub it in?

Here We Go

Put the horses in the stable, deport the pandas, water the camels, and brace yourself.

*****

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Kevin Allen: Told Kovalchuk is being traded to an Eastern Conference team tonight. I'm awaiting confirmation that deal is complete.

****



New Jersey or Philly, then.

****



7:30. Deport the pandas!

****

CSN Philly mofo saying it ain't Philly. Have we traded for the ghost of Bobby Holik?

****





This is more insane than fucking a cactus.

As You May Have Heard...

(your 4th or 5th Kovalchuk trade terror thread; speculate at will; we'll update when we feel like it)

Kovy talked to the media today. What did he say? Click here, and afterwards read the comments section below our previous post for expert commentary from our readers and delirious hallucinations from our staff.

****

Via indispensable TBC operative "Go Puck Yourself", reliable human reporter Craig Custance has recently spoken to Sharks GM Doug Wilson and thinks there's reason to believe San Jose is in the race.

“We’ve always stepped up and tried to add the pieces – whether it be in the summer and up to the trade deadline. We’ve done both,” Wilson told SportingNews.com. “That’s our commitment to our players, coaches and fans. We won’t waiver from that.”

If Wilson won’t speculate, I will. Here’s why I believe the Sharks have to be considered in the mix. For one, look at Wilson’s history. If an elite player hits the market, Wilson is in the conversation. He traded for Joe Thornton. He traded for Dan Boyle. He traded for Dany Heatley. He traded for Brian Campbell.

Why would Ilya Kovalchuk be any different?

Craig Custance is acting like a blogger.

****

Okay, so...as of 4:05, no trade. People are still speculating about this and that, Don Waddell has released a statement of some sort (which most of you have already read), and everyone is all "Hey, why'd Kovy bring up his kids? Is it money or geography? How about it, heeengh?"

ALSO: No one from the Thrashers is denying the "ownership held up the talks by 2 months" reports.

****

It's hilarious just how quickly the Thrashers organization has moved from "he'll be a Thrasher for life" to "DIE YOU RUSKIE SCUM." Not saying that Kovy and his agent-y agent shouldn't bear some of the blame, but it's just laughably obvious the Spirit LLC is trying to save face by painting Kovalchuk as a psychotic greed monster.

Words and Phrases I Could Do Without (On the Hockey Internet, At Least)

- "Character guys"

- "Good pieces"

- "Good core"

- "We need to be more like ________"

- "___________ is literally the reason the Thrashers have always sucked."

- "Enigmatic"

- "Go to the net"

- "FRAUD," or any variant thereof

- "I know this because I've played high school baseball/beer league hockey/seen a hockey game, etc." (not a common phrase, of course, but a very common sentiment that gets re-stated in various ways fairly often in the world of irate keyboard-pounders)

- "I'LL NEVER GO TO ANOTHER GAME!!!1!!1!!!11!!!"

-"I could score 50 goals a year if I only played on one side of the ice"

- "REAL FANS"

- "Something to build on"

Time for a good cleansing purge, I think.

Your 2nd Official Ilya Kovalchuk Thread/Liveblog of Trade Terror

Just thought I'd, like, compile a few relevant links as a supplement to Razor's post. What we know so far:

Vivlamore: Thrashers general manager Don Waddell has told star player Ilya Kovalchuk that he will be traded. Waddell did so after practice today. His agent was then informed of the pending move. No timetable was given for a move.

Jeff Schultz (I know, I know, but he's just been on the phone with Jay Grossman): “It certainly appears to be the direction the club is moving in,” Grossman said by phone. “Ilya’s disappointed. But we appreciate the fact there they’ve been honest about what their plans are.”

The Thrashers’ next game is Friday night in Washington. It seems highly unlikely the team would want Kovalchuk to play in that game, knowing they are about to deal him. But as of early Wednesday evening, a trade had not yet been worked out and there has been a feeling around the league that Waddell has overplayed his hand in trade talks and has been asking for more compensation than teams are willing to part with.

No shit.

Meanwhile, Custance on the Twitter: One exec told me he didn't know what to think of Kovalchuk's destination because he sees teams mentioned that he knows aren't interested.

and

If Hossa got 2 roster players, 1 prospect and a 1st-round pick, that would be the jumping off point. They still want to compete.

God help us all.

We'll update this somewhat regularly as other revelations are, uh, revealed. Feel free to play drinking games in the comments section.

*****

WHOA HEY:


Then who IS in the mix, Mr. Bob "I Have a BlackBerry I'm So Special*" McKenzie? Might the NHL team from the city of Los Angeles, Los Angeles County, California, USA, Earth, the Milky Way etc. be in the mix? "In the mix" sounds like a sexual term.

*I own a BlackBerry, because I love Jim Balsilie, and man it rules.

*****

Don't you just love Craig Custance? Isn't his writing like a breeze off the sea, fluttering the sarongs of elegant women on the beach promenade?

There are plenty of teams interested in Kovalchuk. I was told the Chicago Blackhawks, as of right now, aren’t in the mix. That still leaves teams like the Bruins, Canucks, Flames and Kings. Don’t forget, it’s often a team that comes out of nowhere that ends up making the deal. During the Hossa saga, the Canadiens were the front-runners for a majority of the discussions and it wasn’t until the Penguins agreed to include Colby Armstrong in the final minutes that a deal was struck. There could be a team like that laying in the weeds.

I remember that trade. Wahahaha, those were the days when we couldn't get ANY comments.

*****

OMG OMG the Falconer and his band of miscreants (one of whom has been known to freelance for this very blog) are having a crazy radio talk RIGHT NOW. Tune in here. Call in and leave voice messages saying your name is Hugh G. Reckshin. (503) 4-ATL-BWA, people, GET ON IT.

*****

You know, Kari Lehtonen. Is he really the one to trade? As much I've made fun of him, it's not impossible that we could sign him for dirt cheap and he could play exceedingly well in the next few seasons. Is this too optimistic?

*****

Jeff Schultz is just cold goin' nuts, calling for air strikes and bespoke tailoring for all.

*****

You know what? I predict Kovy goes to Vancouver. Ideally, I'd like Ryan Kesler. That won't happen. A GOOD trade would be Kovalchuk for Christian Ehrhoff, Mason Raymond, and some other human. Rumors say Vancouver is offering Raymond, Brad Lukowich, and Pavol Demitra. That wouldn't be an ideal trade. But yessir, I predict Vancouver. And LA. Kovalchuk will go to both teams.

*****

Been listening to Bird Watchers Anonymous' radio show for some time now. Some talk about Maxim Afinogenov going with Kovalchuk in whatever trade, WHOA HEY.

*****

Kevin Allen knows what he's talking about...

so I'm off, unless something happens.

Tick tock tick tock

Via Darren Dreger's Twitter:

Following up on the RDS story. Don Waddell met with Kovalchuk today to tell him he should expect a trade. 5 or more teams still in.

My optimism does indeed know bounds. There is still a tiny bit of hope deep down inside of me that says "maybe these are still just negotiating tactics. Maybe Kovy is holding out to see if anybody is crazy enough to offer him $11 million. Maybe DW is hoping that Kovy will beg him not to trade him and accept the $10 million. Maybe DW and Kovy have a secret pact to trade Kovy away for assets then have Kovy re-sign with Atlanta for $8 million on July 1. Maybe Obama is a bad dream and somewhere our real President Condi Rice is strangling terrorists with her bare hands."

I find it very difficult to answer today when people ask "how are you?"

Update from M. Peacock: Whoa hey how about this from the official TSN article (stick tap to our own Big Shooter for the discovery):

Thrashers general manager Don Waddell met with the star forward on Wednesday and told him to expect a trade to another NHL team over the next few hours or days.

Hours. Tick tock indeed.

This. Is. So. Over.

At this point we've all heard from various folks who aren't demented rumor-mongers that Ilya Kovalchuk will be traded. 680 The Fan's John Kincade, who I've never particularly liked but who also isn't one to manufacture rumor hysteria just for the publicity-generating hell of it, is certain that Kovalchuk will be gone within the week.

What can we learn from this? The central lesson from the Kovalchuk fiasco, at least from my limited and marginal perspective, isn't anything to do with the fact that Kovalchuk hasn't played well in the last month or so (though he hasn't) or that acquiring good young players like, say, Jack Johnson, would be a nifty thing (though it would).

Whatever you think of Kovalchuk, the central facts are that the Thrashers
1) haven't ever seriously contended with a player of his calibre in the lineup,
2) haven't convinced him to re-sign, and
3) allowed this whole horrific situation to drag on for months when it became clear he wouldn't re-sign.

How does this not spell out in stupidly obvious detail that the management of this team is a colossal failure? It seems the reason Kovalchuk won't re-sign has nothing to do with wanting gazillions of dollars and not even that much to do with wanting to play for an elite team; he won't re-sign because he's not convinced about the stability or viability of this organization in the near future. To put it more simply: he knows the Thrashers are very poorly run, so why the hell would he want to re-sign with a skating disaster of an organization?

The Thrashers have had some terrible luck over the years. But part of good management is knowing how to respond to the bad luck that everyone, organization or individual or whatever, inevitably faces at different points along the way. The Thrashers have never known how to respond to bad luck.

Apparently some consider Kovalchuk's departure an example of bad luck and not bad management ("it's not OUR fault he won't sign! We offered him the biggest UFA contract ever, after all"). Just for the sake of argument, let's grant that premise. It still remains unlikely that Don Waddell will get any high-impact players in return for Kovalchuk. It's fine if you think that Kovalchuk is useless; but to think that we're going to trade him and get a Cup-contending, franchise-jolting package in return is ahistorical and almost delusional.

One more thing. In normal life, if a person in a position of authority presides over nothing but a series of catastrophic failures, they lose their job, the end.


P.S. This trade will make the entire Hockey Internet, including this blog, officially unreadable. Log off while there's still time, for your own good. Everyone will start talking about "goals" (in all meanings of the word) and "cap space" and "North Americans" and "fighting in the corners" and "pieces" and "young core" and blah blah blAHHHHH THE HORROR...

GAME DAY: Lightning, PLUS More Trade Speculation Horror, Etc.

Really, who wants to look at actual lightning when you can look at a man on a...very small bike?

Now then, to Business: Could this be the night where the Thrashers begin an onslaught of wins and leap up the standings for good? The game that begins a second-half surge that leads Ilya Kovalchuk to re-sign for a reasonable fee, Hainsey-Bogosian to play well again, and Don Waddell to trade Colby Armstrong for Owen Nolan and Slava Kozlov for Teemu Selanne at the trade deadline, so as to make a hellacious Cup run?

Probably not, but Go Thrashers anyway, and hurrah.

Oh yeah, and DW went to a Kings-Devils game this past weekend. Does anyone else find this whole situation--and even talking about it--very, very tedious?

Whoa Hey

From the New Jersey Star Ledger:

Paul Martin, still battling to come back from a fractured left forearm, announced Monday that he is taking his name off Team USA's Olympic roster for the upcoming Winter Games in Vancouver.

Alright then, who's it gonna be, Zach "Bogosian" Bogosian or Ronnie "Piano Man" Hainsey?

UPDATE: Bob McKenzie says it'll be Ryan Whitney. Ah well.

What Would You Do?

As everybody is pretty well aware at this point (and if you weren't before, I'm sure the Leafs woke you up to it yesterday) this season has 2 trade deadlines. The first one will be February 12 before the Olympic roster freeze. The second comes March 3, just three days after that Olympic freeze lifts.

Don Waddell and Rick Dudley are looking at a landscape that looks like this:

Pending UFA's:
Kovalchuk
Afinogenov
Kozlov
Armstrong
Slater
Boulton
Kubina
Popovic
Schubert
Hedberg

Pending RFA's:
Little
Lehtonen
Pavelec

We all know about Kovy. Afinogenov is playing for 800k this year and will make somewhere between 3 and 5 million somewhere next year. Kozlov has a no movement clause and already has multiple Stanley Cup rings, so he won't have a burning desire to waive it to go in search of another.

The team has played better on defense over the past little while, but the blueline corps has stopped contributing offensively, which was the engine that kept posting W's early in the season. The Kovalchuk situation could throw everything into a total flux. Also, with the situation the Thrashers are in, the six games between now and March 3 could determine whether Atlanta is a buyer or seller on that day.

Assuming that the team gets more than two or three points out of those six games, I would expect DW/Dudley to be in buying mode. However, to make room for purchases, there are some rental players on that pending UFA list above that I'm sure they wouldn't mind shipping off if they could bring back a good return.

Expect DW to ask Slava Kozlov to waive his NMC so that he can send him off as a rental player to a team in a more secure playoff position. However, I would wager that Slava tells him to shove it. Slava has his Stanley Cup rings and won't see any burning need to play somewhere else for a few months before calling it a career.

Armstrong is probably going to be the first one to go. He carries a lot of positives with him, but doesn't fit into John Anderson's system that well. He's a pending UFA and a lot of folks around the league are very high on him. I'd wave him under Pittsburgh's nose to see what they'd give to have him back with his buddy Sidney.

Expect DW to hang on to Pavel Kubina unless a really good deal comes along. His solid presence on the blue line has been a huge part of keeping this team in the playoff race this year. If they want to stay in that race through March, they need Kubina to stay where he is.

Brian Little broke 30 goals last year in his first full year in the NHL but will be lucky to get half that this season. Regardless, he's got a very bright future and will make a significant raise this offseason. There is always a chance that DW anticipates him being too expensive to re-sign and trades him preemptively, but I think it's pretty unlikely. He'll stick around.

The only moves I really see Waddell making before March 3 would be 1) shipping off Colby Armstrong in exchange for a prospect or draft pick and, 2) trading a goalie for someone to fill in Army's roster spot (maybe package a draft pick or defenseman in there and make it a significant upgrade from Army).

The other pieces are too important to this year's playoff push. Then again, if the Thrashers go 1-4-1 before March 3, then you might see Kovy, Kubina, Afinogenov, and a goalie hit the road in exchange for draft picks and prospects.