Monday, February 16, 2009

A Brief History of Mathieu Schneider's Career with the Atlanta Thrashers


September 16, 2008
The Chronicle first becomes aware that the Anaheim Ducks have put future Hall of Fame defenseman Mathieu Schneider on waivers. At the time, M. Peacock wrote, "The dude's like a million years old but his numbers are still very impressive. I vote yes."

September 18, 2008
The Chronicle reports on season ticket holders' townhall meeting with Waddell, Anderson, and Hainsey. We report that DW said that his overlords weren't willing to put up money for Schneider, whom the Kings had just turned down.

September 27, 2008
A great day for hockey. Anaheim trades Mathieu Schneider to the Thrashers for Ken Klee and Brad Larsen.

Greg Wyshynski: "Atlanta blogger Ben Wright is happier than Bobby Cox in Havana, and not just because Ken Klee is gone: He believes Schneider, Ron Hainsey, Tobias Enstrom and Niclas Havelid give the Thrashers 'arguably the strongest foursome in the Southeast Division.' Scary part is that he might be right."

James Mirtle: "New coach John Anderson's suddenly got something to work with..."

Earl Sleek: "It's important to understand: Mathieu Schneider was not a failure for the Ducks, and I'm not convinced he's overpaid. I think he'll have a good year in Atlanta."

Mortimer Peacock: "The Thrashers get a solid, productive defenseman who will do his job, score points, and teach the younguns. The Ducks get to sign Teemu Selanne, who will score 40-something goals for them this year. Ken Klee gets a guaranteed trip to the play-offs."

Big Shooter: "HELL YEAH!"

November 17, 2008
Mortimer Peacock starts war with anonymous Boris Valabik fan, who may or may not actually be Boris Valabik, who thinks Valabik is far superior to Schneider. Peacock takes the easy way out and calls his opponent an anti-Semite. And a "schlmazel."

November 27, 2008
In a podcast, the Chronicle warns Atlanta to lay off Mathieu Schneider and remember the humane advice of the great rabbi Hillel.

December 2, 2008
Schneider injured for like the third time in his Atlanta career, just before a game against his once and future team, the Montreal Canadiens. Atlanta fans, possibly believing (mistakenly, of course) that Schneider is really the vengeful ghost of Leo Frank come back to punish them for their racism, begin baying for blood and muttering darkly about who really killed their Lord.

December 19 , 2008
Schneider returns from his injury, which hardly quells the pogroms.

January 6, 2009
The Chronicle realizes that Mathieu Schneider would make excellent trade bait. Mortimer Peacock starts lobbying aggressively for a trade to Pittsburgh.

January 11, 2009
Schneider appears to be merrily and talkatively stoned at the Thrashers' Casino Night.

February 15, 2009
Thrashers fly to Schneider's old stomping ground in Anaheim to play a game against his old team the Ducks. Thrashers win big, Schneider gets an assist.

February 16, 2009
The young man gets traded to his old team the Montreal Canadiens. Godspeed, Mathieu! We know you'll help the Habs on their power play! Thank you for saving us from the Cossacks!

10 comments:

Sarah said...

Awesome post! I'm sad he didn't work out in Atlanta, but man, is anything working in Atlanta? This was the single strangest season in Mathieu's career, and I've followed him since 1993. (Yeah, I'm old)

I'm almost speechless about this season. I can't defend him and say he only sucked because the team sucks. That wouldn't be fair (or accurate). I just don't know what happened. I blame aliens. It is the only logical explanation.

Good luck and best wishes for the Thrashers from this point on. Really, I do hope everything works out. Y'all deserve better than anything you are being provided by that team at this point.

FrenchCatalogues said...

We hope so too. It only makes sense for us to get a great defensemen and him have a bad year. We just have that kind of luck.

Mortimer Peacock said...

Go read the Falconer's post on this whole thing. He thinks Schneider was good for this franchise (that includes even signing him in the first place). I agree, I do, mhmm.

jamestobrien said...

Wow, the anti-Semite routine? Well played.

Funny stuff.

Anonymous said...

The fact that my comments earlier this year made it into the timeline of Schneider's career with the Thrashers is sad as hell.

The fact that you actually think I am Boris Valabik is even more sad.

FrenchCatalogues said...

Why can't you be Boris or at least run with it? Maybe you should make that your name instead of Anonymous. It'd be great. Can't you admit we've had some good times feuding? Of course it made it. It was a hell of a bicker. It was silly but entertaining. It's like Vidal vs Mailer on a small small hockey-centered scale. I hope you at least enjoy it. We do.

Mortimer Peacock said...

I have to say I'm surprised, Anonymous. I clearly made you out to be the better person and myself out to a hysterical loon in my (semi-true) historical account. That you don't see that just makes me :(

Mortimer Peacock said...

...to BE a hysterical loon, even.

Big Shooter said...

Anonymous,

Those of us that know him best are fully aware that Morty is a hysterical loon (as are the other contributors to this blog, except for myself of course). Please remember that this blog is done in good fun, and can only be taken 1/2seriously.

By the way Morty, I didn't mean to show everybody up with my wonderful commentary of, "Hell Yeah!".

Laura said...

You cited Leo Frank. +10,000 smart points for you. :)