Sunday, March 21, 2010

Never Forget the Great Anti-Flyers Campaign of 09-10! Here's a Final Battle Liveblog



Correct us if we're wrong, but your Chronicle is under the impression that the Thrashers have beaten the Flyers in 3 out of 4 engagements this season. Tonight is the 4th...what's going to happen?

Indeed, lots of things could happen. The Thrashers could earn themselves at least a point tonight, and that might be useful for sneaking into the 8th playoff spot.

Or they could begin another one of their patented comical losing streaks.

Or they could play reasonably well for the rest of the season but still miss the playoffs, finishing just outside the postseason group at #9. Some people, not unreasonably, think would be the worst of all possible scenarios because the team would miss both the playoffs and a high draft pick. What's worse, it might further reinforce the organization's complacency and encourage them to keep things in a state of room temperature, Business-as-Usual mediocrity.

But then maybe a 9th place finish would generate some confidence for next season (shudder; I have to admit that, as much as I love hockey, I DO NOT understand these people for whom summer is just an unwelcome distraction between hockey seasons).

Anyway, the game is a-starting! Keep it here. The liveblog will begin as soon as I wrangle myself another Pacifico.

*****

- The game appears to have started. The Bergfors line just did their familiar crashing-the-net-and-trying-to-score-early shtick. It's a SHTICK, I tell you, not unlike Carl Reiner's.

- HOLY SHIT HAINSEY.
funny animated gif

No one will ever convince me that Ronald Hainsey is not also Patrick Bateman.

- Nic Bergfors almost had a fine goal, but Boucher just barely made the save. Slater unleashes his storied one-timer, misses.

- So I was talking to Big Shooter at the game last night, and he said something like, "You know who's had a good year? Ron Hainsey, that's who. I don't care what anyone says. He's had a great year, and he makes me laugh, and he treats me like a gentleman. I mean, HE'S the gentleman."

This is an accurate statement. Ronald has been pretty steady all year, and he occasionally does stuff that results in goals. His comic plus/minus has to do with playing with Zach Bogosian much of the year.

- Nik Antropov: a man with a full head of beautiful hair.

- Good lord all of a sudden there's a howling storm outside. I wonder if this has to do with the Thrashers.

- Mark Popovic tends to make the same kind of move every time he has a chance to shoot. Matt McConnell is noting this as I type.

- Credit where credit's due: Todd White has been much better recently.

- Lots of fighting in the corners, lots of Flyers in the Thrashers zone, a goddamn deluge outside.

- OK, this Bud Light auto-tune commercial needs to be sent to to the gulag.

- I TOLD YOU TODD WHITE RULED.

- Very pretty pressure by the Thrashers just now; Max seems determined to make something happen. I've said it before and, hell, I'll say it now: he protects the puck exceptionally well.

- This is stone cold nuts. The Thrashers just had the puck in the Flyers zone for like two weeks.

- Whoa hey Daniel Carcillo very nearly scored a goal. I have literally no idea how Pavelec made the stop---AHHH I see, Afinogenov was cold hookin' the dude. Flyers power play.

- Our movie hero Rich Peverley just got sent to the box for cold tripping some dude after he and Clarke MacArthur had a short handed breakaway. But you know that, because you're watching the game, right?

- Excellent:


*****

- 2nd period just cold beginning right now.

- Oh yeah, that penalty.

- Penalty on the Flyers. Darren Eliot says "That's for boarding" in the exact same tone Sean Connery says "That's for blasphemy" after he slaps Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

- Daniel Briere goes to the box. Huh huh BOX. What now?

- ...and SportSouth employs its most ridiculous camera angle.

- Our power play is still balls, apparently.

- If the Thrashers make the playoffs this year, I promise to sing Cory Hart's "Sunglasses at Night" at some karaoke place or other. Mr. Speaker and Krisabelle will be my witnesses.

- Why is Eric Boulton so very mean to Daniel Carcillo? AND Mike Richards? How many penalties have there been in this period anyway?

-


- Todd White speaks with such authority.

- That last scramble-and-shoot orgy around the Thrashers net was pretty nerve-racking. Someone could make the Thrashers blogosphere a lot more interesting with a serial online comic book about some Ondrej Pavelec-esque superhero and his funny sidekick, Goal Post.

*****

- So the third period is underway. What might happen? I predict Bryan Little, having spent the 2nd intermission reading Lawrence Durrell's travel books about the Greek isles, will score a crazy goal.

- Hartnell and Slater fighting. Hartnell's coarse locks a-flying, Slater decks him. Jimmy is PISSED. Crowd involved, lots of screaming. If you punch Hartnell, beads and doubloons fly out of his hair.

- Arron Asham tries to murder Bryan Little with his stick. PENALTY. Thrashers power play still comical, OH LOOK FLYERS COMING ON SHORT HANDED...but it's okay. This power play is a horse-faced shithouse.

- Flyers all over the Thrashers zone. Can't get behind this.

- Why does Matt McConnell always call players by their first names?

- Up and down, up and down, another Thrashers goal would be no bad thing.

- Camera just lingered on what's-his-name, James Van Der Beek or whoever, for far too long.

- Jimmy Slater is a man afire.

- JEEZUS H. DID YOU JUST SEE PAVELEC STOP THAT POINT-BLANK DEATH SHOT?

- Oh fuckity fyck fuck fyucuckckkckckckcfu fuck

- Hartnell's lock ooze has an evil influence.

- The Thrashers had damn well better not let this one slip away...

- The Flyers are too good at the stick-checking. Thrashers will have to---what else?---just cold storm the crease.

- Pavel Kubina. Player of the year? Perhaps co-Player of the Year alongside Antropov.

- DLKDLKDSJLKDJKFSDKLFJDSLKFJ84390FJLDKJSFSD

Our Hero comes through big time.

- Ricky Pevs is now a 20-goal-scorer, I believe.

- EMPTY NET LET'S BURY THIS BIOTCH.

- This is insane.

- SWEPT.



36 comments:

GoPuckYourself said...

Whoa! Early goal again. Damn!

Mr. Speaker said...

Darn, too bad Jimmah hit the post. A 2 goal lead would be sublime once again. Cuz I reckon this will be our best period. But then again, both teams travelled.

Defensemen still blocking shots.

Good sign.

Mr. Speaker said...

True about Hainsey, Ronald.

It is also true that our top line is playing too soft against the likes of Carcillo and Co.

Ooooo Popi!! Darn.

Mr. Speaker said...

Wowzers, Jimmy Furyk buckling under the pressure?? Shanks one out of the mulch!

Todd Fucking White!! Oh my!!!!!

Mr. Speaker said...

One deluge deserves another!!

Bring the rain, bring the pain...

...Todd M'effin' Whiiiiiite!!

Mr. Speaker said...

Uh oh, spaghetti O! Just lost the cable, I think Comcast was just blown straight to hell.

Mortimer Peacock said...

My Comcast was quite shaky for a while. Seems to be okay now, and the storm is breaking up. My cabin in the wilds of ATL still stands.

Mr. Speaker said...

Ha, too funny. I'm letting the dust settle until the 2nd period. Will rely on yahoo's gametracker.

I hear sirens, the end of the world is upon is...drawing nigh.

Too bad really, since the Thrashers have finally figured themselves out.

Mortimer Peacock said...

Perhaps these two events are related?

Mr. Speaker said...

Ha! Perhaps they are.

The Thrashers must continue to drive the net and get in Boucher's butt...he is beyond shaky.

DO NOT LET UP!

Let this PP be a lesson to ya's.

Mr. Speaker said...

How the hell do you trip someone on a short-handed breakaway?

Well, 3 minutes of killing. Good.

1 minute of killing left. Ungood. Potentially. Kill it and the kingdom of Boucher is theirs!

GoPuckYourself said...

Quite the penalty killing there to start the 2nd....by the Thrash and unfortunately the Flyers as well.

Mr. Speaker said...

Our PP blows sheep dick.

Too much craziness near the offensive blueline. Need to get the puck....

....DEEEPER!!! PUSH IT IN DEEP.

Mr. Speaker said...

Thank you Pavs! Too much "whack-a-mole" defense right now by the forwards. Don't panic. Collect the puck and skate it out of trouble.

Playing too conservatively.

3rd period may give me angina.

Mortimer Peacock said...

"The night Laura's daddy died. Sha na na na na na na na na! Brother what a night it really was. Mother what a night it really... angina's tough! Glory be!"

- High Fidelity

Mr. Speaker said...

Good Lord Morty, how in the hell do you remember all this stuff.

And you're doing that song at Metalsome regardless. You're doing the whole album if we make the playoffs. And I'll be right there with you screaming till I'm hoarse.

Terrible call on Boulton. These French Canadian refs rankle me so.

Mr. Speaker said...

Holy shit Pavelec!! Daayuum.

Pass me the alka-seltzer.

Pavs certainly on his game tonite.

So is the goal post.

Mr. Speaker said...

Thanks for the props Morty.

I really felt that sentiment deep within my, well, you get it.

I have an eerie premonition about Marty Reasoner, but I'm not sure what said feeling pertains to.

Let's go boys!!

Mr. Speaker said...

Cheap shotting pussy I believe.

I think Jimmy called him a woman.

Mr. Speaker said...

Indeed, a comical PP. Toby had the open lane with the assholes, uh, I mean Flyers scrambling. Shoot the damn thing and get the rebound, remember? How you scored 3 of 5 goals last time!!

Did anyone clean up Hartnell's gerry-curl juice / sweaty lock ooze off the ice...dangerous slick spot inside the blueline.

Mortimer Peacock said...

Lock ooze!

GoPuckYourself said...

Pavelec's been money tonight.

And if you're using Lou Bega to sell cars, you've clearly lost the plot. It hasn't been 1996 in a long time.

GoPuckYourself said...

Gaaaaaaaawd damn, alright. I'm done jinxing for the evening.

Mr. Speaker said...

Premonition realized.

Damn it Marty! How do you not mark Richards??!

aaron said...

Reasoner was blinded by all the Pierre residue on Richards.

Mr. Speaker said...

Too many passes long east to west passes and passes when driving the lane would be better. Just get the damn thing all the way to Boucher and watch him whimper!!

GoPuckYourself said...

DISPENSED!

Mr. Speaker said...

YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

Big, hairy, fat, 10 gallon dick on the floor!!! Dropping the spurs right up Boucher's ass!!!!

Wooo freakin' hoooo!!!

aaron said...

Ronnie with a 3pt night. First of the year

Mr. Speaker said...

Indeed! # 20. Is he the twenty-gallon dick now??

Pevs' 10-gallon dick just punctured their will.

Empty netter? From Max?

So let it be written...

Mr. Speaker said...

I like Clarke's tenacity in short-handed situations. Could be a big factor against the Bruins with whom he is quite familiar.

Break off a broom in Boucher's ass!

Mortimer Peacock said...

Aaron-

Indeed. All hail Ronnie Haines.

Mr. Speaker-
wahahahahaha @ your violent images.

Mr. Speaker said...

SO LET IT BE DONE!!

Don't switch a blade bitches!!!

Mutton Sourdough said...

Damnit! i can't believe I missed a TBC liveblog!!!

In the ever-applicable words of Rowan Atkinson as Edmund Blackadder, "I believe the phrase rhymes with 'Clucking Bell!!'"

GoPuckYourself said...

Damnit, I'm going into work in a few minutes and offering somebody 50 bucks to work for me tomorrow so I can go to this game.

Biggest game since the Rangers series. We aren't true fans if we aren't there tomorrow night.

Mr. Speaker said...

GPY - you MUST BE THERE! I'll kick you $10 myself to contribute to your "bribe my coworker" campaign!!