Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Searching for Manny Malhotra in Sydney

What's up, kids. Or is it more grammatically proper to say "What's up kids?"

Short Handed Mole here, blogging from a secure location in New South Wales. The Park Hyatt in Sydney*, to be exact, in a room overlooking the Harbour. It's nearly noon on a Wednesday here, so to our North American readers I'm technically writing from the future.

the actual hotel where the Short Handed Mole is actually staying, under the bridge and all

And the future is where I am, personally. You might have heard that Editor Peacock exiled me to rehab--in Kentucky, of all places, among Trappist monks who occasionally practice Zen Buddhism--when he and FrenchCatalogues discovered me on one of Georgia's Golden Isles, drunk as a mole in a mug of Black and Tan plus Jameson. Needless to say, I'm much better now; the rehab was the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Yes sir, 100% clean and sober for 1 month now. At first, I was pretty angry with Mortimer for sending me to Kentucky, but as soon as I got there I was bowled over by the bluegrass and the endless hills of big-dicked horse ranches. I realize now he did the right thing.

What does any of this have to do with hockey? You know.

Actually, you don't (how could you?!) so I shall have to explain.

You see, as soon as I got out of the rehab monastery I decided I'd return to the Chronicle a much healthier, happier, sharper-penned rodent, with actually interesting news to report. News that actually matters to your Atlanta Thrashers. I decided, ladies and gentilhommes, to search for Manny Mahotra in Australia. To see, that is, if this whole "Thrashers are interested in Manny Malhotra" rumpus is for real or a just a fever-dream in the teeming psyche of Dave Pagnotta. You see, I got a tip from the Australian bureau chief of Short Handed Mole Reports that Malhotra had been sighted on Bondi Beach, and I was on the 1st commuter plane out of Lexington to Atlanta, and then on the first marathon nightmare flight from Terminal E to Sydney.

Turns out, I haven't found Manny Mahotra yet. No idea if he's even in Sydney. But I thought I saw his wife on Bondi Beach. I'll keep you posted. Seriously.

*The Blueland Chronicle is in no way in the pay of the Park Hyatt Sydney. Not at all.


the jointhead said...

There are jellyfish the size of your pinky finger that can Kill you over there. Whatch youself out there, and keep manny off the beach if you see him!

Mortimer Peacock said...

Welcome back, SHM. So glad to see you're purged of the booze.

And yes, watch out for jellyfish. And sharks.