Thursday, July 23, 2009

Baffling Report of Extravagant Kovalchuk Contract Terrorizes Internet

There's a post at Russian-language hockey forum All Hockey.Ru that reports Ilya Kovalchuk either has or is about to sign a DW-authored contract that will see him paid $11.35 million a year.

At first I suspected this was just a rumor, but I decided to look into it. All Hockey.Ru isn't a professional news site, so I scoured actual Russian news services like Russia Today, which covers Kovalchuk and all things Russian hockey in detail, and couldn't find anything.

BUT THEN I Googled the phrase ""Атланта" собирается подписать многолетний контракт с Ильёй Ковальчуком. При этом ежегодная зарплата форварда составит $11,36 млн. в год - максимум, возможный в НХЛ." on and several things popped up; it looks like Sports Daily Russia, a reliable source, has picked up the exact same story. BUT WHAT WIRE REPORT IS THIS COMING FROM?

Most bizarre of all, this report specifically references the AJC as its source. WHAT THE FUCK?

Oh yes. The other day Jeff Schultz wrote on his blog: "Kovalchuk has a year left on his contract at $7.5 million. Theoretically, his new deal could pay him up to $11.2 million per season (20 percent of the NHL salary cap of $56 million). The bigger issue is term: The NHL’s Collective Bargaining Agreement has no cap on length of contract."

Through either bad translation (these days usually left up to Google and Babelfish robots) or very poor reading skills, some Russian reporter took Schultz's brain-wave for an empirical fact and set off a firestorm of false reports in the Russian sports press and spread confusion among Thrashers fans.

False alarm, ha ha, GO BACK TO BED. What a terrifying night it's been, though, full of endlessly circling M.C. Escher-like mirror games that plan to eat you.


Maz said...

Ahh Google, all at once devil and angel.

Good leg work on this one.

the jointhead said...

I would expect the zettergerg type contract with 11 or something the first few years then tails off to lower the cap hit, but that would mean he is a life long thrasher. We can dream.

Mortimer Peacock said...

That sounds reasonable enough. I think he'll get something along the lines of Ovechkin, $9 million a year or so. But perhaps he'll become the highest-paid player in the league for a few seasons...WHO KNOWS?

Razor Catch Prey said...

Let's just do like the Pens and give Kovy ownership of the team in exchange for his services as a player until he retires. Kill two birds with one stone by getting better ownership and locking up Kovy's loyalty.

A2B said...

Razor, well spoken... maybe we can get some Russian mafia money wil him at the helm as well.

the jointhead said...

At least Kovys not a 19 year old prick with an undeserved sense of entitlement. Was there anything better than watching Kovy put that little boy in his place. That alone is worth 11 mill.

Mortimer Peacock said...

To be clear: I'm not against giving Kovy $11 million a year, Upper Mongolia, Kyrgyzstan, and all of Metro Atlanta. At the time it just seemed odd that such a huge contract would go unreported in any North American hockey media outlets.

Razor Catch Prey said...

If it takes 11 million a year to sign Kovy, then I'd say do it. However, I think we can probably sign him for around 9 plus bonuses.

Maybe Shooter can throw in lawn maintenance for the Czar's palace.