Wednesday, June 17, 2009

A Short Case for Kane, plus The Falconer Conducts Important Thrashers Business

The Falconer has begun his promised series of posts on "How to Build a Stanley Cup Contender in Atlanta," and the first two installments are exceedingly well worth reading, so migrate over there and look at the screen.

It's pretty much a certainty, I think, that the Thrashers are going to draft Evander Kane with the #4 pick. This is good for all the reasons the Falconer states.

If I were to summarize the case for drafting Kane, I'd put it something like this:

1) What do we Thrashers fans so often cry out for? Size, and a solid two-way game. Kane has both of these, and he'll develop both significantly in the near future.

2) The kid is a classic power forward: he's big and mean and scores goals. His favorite player is Jarome Iginla, and scouts often compare the two players. I know what you're thinking: Iginla and Kane are only associated with one another because they're both...CANADIAN.

It's not just that they're both Canadian: they really are similar players, which is manna to someone like me whose Dream Line has always been Kovalchuk-Thornton-Iginla. Unless Rich Peverly becomes becomes something very special indeed we might have to wait a bit longer for a Thornton-type player, but right now, in real life, we have the chance to draft an Iginla-type player. Do it.

3) For the life of me I don't understand the people who complain about mentioning Kane's race. Fact is, honkies, there's a whopping huge black community in Atlanta, one with a well-off middle and upper-middle class that occasionally likes to spend money on sporting events. As the Falconer points out, there's ALREADY a quite a few black folks who go to Thrashers games. Adding Evander Kane (who is by all accounts a future star) to our roster certainly can't hurt ticket sales.

Nevertheless I'm sure every dumb cracker in the Metro ATL will find endless horror in this reasoning, because of Michael Vick something something family-unfriendly gurgle snort Ray Emery bad attitude blah hawf tee Mike Tyson snarf snarf Idi Amin THE SHERIFF IS A

4) The guy's named after the Real Deal. He HAS to come here.

But yeah, read the Falconer's posts.


FrenchCatalogues said...

seize this honkus.

the jointhead said...

Maybe you could quell this uprising by explaining that canadian black guy don't have hugh cocks like their southern counterparts. I have no idea if this is true, but most white republicans will feel less threatend.

Mortimer Peacock said...

wahahaahhaa. Win, sir.

FrenchCatalogues said...

I don't know I hear Evander Kane is dating Bristol Palin, and she is showing a bump around the stomach. Our women aren't safe from this real deal HYOHHHHHH!