Monday, June 1, 2009

BREAKING! GARY BETTMAN DECLARES WAR ON THE CHRONICLE!



Some of you might remember an important muck-raking story written by Big Shooter a few months back about the Montreal Canadiens being sold and relocating. Well, it appears NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman is impugning the Chronicle's reporting standards and fact-checking.

The Falconer reports:

No, I'm not making this up.

Earlier this year Blueland Chronicle had a mockumentary story about the Canadians (yeah, I know there is supposed be an "e" in there, but but you guys leave the "h" out of our name all the time--payback baby!) moving out of Montreal. Apparently Gary Bettman felt it important to shut down that crack reporting by our fellow Atlanta bloggers at his annual State of the NHL news Conference:

Q. What can you tell us about the possibility that the Montreal Canadiens will be sold in the next few weeks?

COMMISSIONER BETTMAN: The word on the street is that there are a number of interested parties. I think in the final analysis, George Gillett has to decide, ultimately how he's going to arrange his affairs. And if, ultimately, he concludes that it's appropriate to sell the club, I know firsthand that there are no shortage of interested substantial bidders who are interested in owning the club.

The club will either continue to be owned by George or will have another owner who will be somebody who will live up to George's standards and ensure that the Canadiens are healthy forever in Montreal.
That club isn't going anywhere. The fans in Montreal shouldn't worry about it one bit.


How dare he?! The Chronicle spreads these stories only after rigorous fact-checking and revision. But since Commissioner Bettman has committed an act of aggression, we're perfectly willing to declare that a state of war now exists between the Chronicle and Gary Bettman. To arms!

1 comment:

Big Shooter said...

See... even when he disappears for weeks on end, Big Shooter is STILL making news.

I demand a raise, and the firing of that prick The Short Handed Mole.

Now.