Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Breaking News!!!

The Blueland Chronicle has learned that the Ghost of Billy Mays is desperately trying to stop the Dany Heatley trade to the Edmonton Oilers. Our reporters have found that Dany Heatley is in Edmonton, driving around the town with Ales Hemsky trying to learn the route to the arena. The Ghost of Billy Mays (a life long Oiler fan) has made a brave attempt to save Ales. Reports are unconfirmed at the moment, but we have received this photo of the daring rescue attempt:


More on this breaking story to come...

7 comments:

Mortimer Peacock said...

I think the Ghost of Billy Mays might be misfiring in that picture.

Big Shooter said...

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH WHEN THE GHOST OF BILLY MAYS IS SHOOTING A GUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the jointhead said...

Ha Ha I think I just pissed my pants. I can't take any more tonight. I'm going to snort an ambien eat four boxes of cookie crisp and wake up at noon.

FrenchCatalogues said...

I'm with you on that

Jay said...

As much as the Senators told Dany Heatley to "Beat it", once he heard of the trade to the Oilers, he had to look at the "Man in the Mirror". He was so upset, he tore the mirror "Off the Wall". He felt "Bad" that he put the Sens in such a bad spot. He thought he was worth more than Penner, Cogs, and Smid, so he told Bryan Murray "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough". He just wanted to "Remember the Time" back in Atlanta when he was a "Smooth Criminal". But doing that was just "Human Nature". Spezza heard of the trade and called Heatley. Dany told him "You are not Alone", you still have Daniel Alfredsson. But take my advice, the Sens, "They Don't Care About Us". Clouston put us in this "Jam". Just then Kevin Lowe was on the other line. Dany picks up and Kevin says, "Give in to me". But Dany tells him, it's not all "Black or White", sometimes there's gray. I don't "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'", I'm just in a "State of Shock". Kevin finally asks him, "Will you be there"? Dany says no.

/Ghost of Michael Jackson'd

Big Shooter said...

Jointhead - ambien, four boxes of Cookie Crisp and sleeping til noon sounds like perfection to me.

Jay - you are a wonderful human being. Please tell the Ghost of Michael Jackson that we miss him.

Mortimer Peacock said...

Don't "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'" with the Ghost of Michael Jackson.