Thursday, June 4, 2009

Morning Hockey Debriefing

- DAMN DAMN DAMN YOU ILYA NIKULIN STOP BEING A COCKTEASE GO TO MONEY HELL FOREVER. [James Mirtle]

- Had a closed-door editorial meeting with the Short-Handed Mole this morning. Looks like we'll be able to send him to Montreal to cover the draft, in person. He'll be stowing away in Don Waddell's briefcase.

- Just click the link. [Abel to Yzerman]

- San Jose Sharks GM Doug Wilson says (wink wink) he DOES NOT intend to move either Joe Thornton or Patrick Marleau this summer. This is mildly, but not greatly, surprising. What isn't surprising in the least is that the Toronto Sun made up some story about Wilson cramming both Thornton and Marleau into tight wooden boxes and shipping them off to Tasmania and reported it as truth. Sharks beat writer David Pollack administered the proper beatdown. [San Jose Mercury News]

- Stanley Cup Finals officials hate the Detroit Red Wings. [TSN]

- You mean Chris Osgood ISN'T the greatest goalie of all time? [Puck Daddy]

- Not to be a self-righteous bleeding heart libtard hater of mandarins (if not Mandarin-speakers, certainly not), but today is the 20th anniversary of that business in Tiananmen Square. Nice article about Chinese white-washing of history here, my own short blather (plus some Chinaman's homoerotic poem about Furry sex) here, sign a petition demanding some fucking acknowledgment of historical truth here. WOOOOOOOO GO PENS/WINGS [The Guardian, Clear Expensive Skies, Amnesty International]

9 comments:

Big Shooter said...

So, now you are having secret meetings with this Short Handed Mole and not including us... bastard!!

I'd like to see some physical proof that this mole guy is REALLY going to the draft...

The Short Handed Mole said...

You can come by and see my press pass anytime Shooter.

Big Shooter said...

I see.

You don't scare me you little turd.

The Short Handed Mole said...

Ah, the green-eyed monster rears its head.

"You don't scare me you little turd" says the insignificant dust particle.

Big Shooter said...

Just so you know, I plan on having you killed and I shall make a nice looking hat out of you.

Razor Catch Prey said...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am personally investigating the death threats made by Big Shooter against the Short Handed Mole. I have thus far found disturbing information that Shooter has attempted to contact Dan Akroyd's character from Caddyshack II to perform the hit.

This is disturbing on multiple levels, not the least of which that it reminds me that the sequel to Caddyshack ever existed.

It also appears that this situation may be strikingly similar to the Mike Danton/David Frost relationship...

Mortimer Peacock said...

Sweet Jesus! I step out to the dentist for like two hours, I come back and all hell has broken loose.

Seriously, you two, knock it off. Violent disagreements in public about the merits of this or that hockey player/team=fine. Violent disagreements in public about politics & religion=fine.

But seriously, this personal stuff is intolerable. Don't make me suspend both of you.

Big Shooter said...

Despite what you have read here, HE started it. I don't normally resort to death threats to little furry creatures to be carried out by famous movie characters from the early '80s...

But he sent an IM to me where he said somethin' 'bout my Pa. I had no other option!!!

Mortimer Peacock said...

He's been sent to the Daytona gulag, so no matter.