Saturday, September 5, 2009

Shorter TSN

Scene: roundtable meeting of Canuckle-dragger Central Committee. Toronto. Implacable September weather rages outside. General Secretary of Canuckle-draggle Central Committee rises. He raises his syrup-stained hand for silence. He begins to speak:


Comrade Cullen compile analysis of Thrashers of Atlanta, reality-based!

Unfortunately, comrades, reality-based consideration of Comrade Cullen is a wrongtruth!

Wrongtruth must be suppressed.

Or at least buried.

Central Committee dictate Thrashers are bad forever!

Write: "Thrashers bad forever!"

Comrade Cullen's examination?

Put elsewhere.

Great Canuckle-dragging masses must never know.

Airbrush Trotskyite "Little" from all photographs!

Trotskyite "Peverley" never acknowledge!

Meeting adjourned!

[TSN Canuckle-dragging masturbation]

1 comment:

Razor Catch Prey said...

Wow, that's one of the worst season previews I've ever seen.

Ilya Kovalchuck plays for the Atlanta Thrashers. He obviously wants to leave, because who wouldn't, I mean it's nowhere near Toronto.

Speaking of Toronto, they also got Nik Antropov, whom I am Constitutionally obligated to call an enigma. He didn't win a Stanley Cup for the Maple Leafs, so he's not any good and won't help.

Oh yeah, I also have heard of Zach Bogosian and Tobias Enstrom, so they must not be terrible. Somebody said Kari Lehtonen had back problems last year.

The end.

Nice job, TSN. Nice job.