Monday, July 28, 2008

Those Crazy Islanders

They had Mike Milbury as a GM for years, during which time he made such brilliant comedic moves as trading away Roberto Luongo AND Olli Jokinen so he could draft Rick DiPietro. They promoted backup-goalie/Voltron-lookalike Garth Snow to GM. They actually signed Andy Sutton to play professional hockey AFTER seeing how he played for the Thrashers.

Now the New York Islanders, who are to hockey as Mel Brooks is to movies, may just be upping the ante. That's right, readers, this Wednesday GM Garth Snow (that's not the punch-line, just a laugh along the way) will sit down to interview another candidate for head coach. After hearing from such snoozer sure things as Bob Hartley, Paul Maurice, and John Tortarella, Snow finally gets to hear some novel ideas from none other than SCOTT "FLASH" GORDON!

Some of you newer Atlanta hockey fans may be scratching your heads right now as to why this is so funny. Some of you who were old enough to drink during Atlanta Knights games might also have fuzzy memories of this comedic wonder.

However, those of us who frequented the Omni during those days when the Tampa Bay Lightning weren't yet evil remember Scotty well. Shooter and I once watched Gordon, the Knights third string netminder at the time, decide to put on a little bit of a show for the crowd after making a routine collection of a dump in. Instead of simply passing the puck out to his defenseman in the neutral zone, Gordon decided to pretend he was a soccer goalie and DROP KICK THE PUCK.

Predictably, the puck arced beautifully right onto the tape of a forechecking opponent who was able to put the biscuit in the basket behind the badly out of position and off balance Scott Gordon.

It was understandable that Scotty was feeling a little lightheaded and giddy, though. After all, it wasn't that often he actually stopped the routine dump in from center ice. More than once his teammates had to hang their heads in shame as Gordon let a puck bounce through his legs at a screaming five miles per hour and into the net.

So it would be a perfect fit for the team run by Garth "the rules don't say I CAN'T wear roofing shingles on top of my pads" Snow; the same team who said "who needs Luongo when you can draft DiPietro number 1 in front of Heatley;" to hire ole Flash as their new head coach.

Go for it, fellas! I hope Leslie Nielson is available for an assistant spot!


Big Shooter said...

Dear God.

I've read that he is somewhat accomplished as a coach, but I just can't get my mind around it! Don't forget he coach the Kinghts as well (didn't he?)

Seems like the right fit on Long Island.

Mortimer Peacock said...

Great read, RCP. And don't forget: the Islanders also could have had the likes of Dany Heatley and Jason Spezza, but gave up draft picks for...who, exactly? And if I'm not mistaken, Milbury also traded away Zdeno Chara.

Big Shooter said...

Basically, Milbury traded Chara and Spezza for Yashin.