Monday, August 30, 2010

Chris Thorburn Will Score Your Goals

(updated below)

Did you enjoy your weekend, Thrashingwhores? Did you go out for fish tacos and Corona? Did you follow the wild up-and-down antics of our Actually Good local sports team, the Braves? Did you enjoy staring at Christina Hendricks on the Emmy's thingy? Was your Honor Restored?

One of the strange things that happened to your editor over the weekend was Big Shooter sending him this, from vital hockey mind Rick Dudley:

We think [Chris] Thorburn is capable of scoring. He did in junior. I know the player really, really well way back from [OHL] Sudbury. I think he’s capable of being more than a fourth-line guy. If that happened we are in pretty good shape because he’s a big, fast guy that plays with an edge. Those guys, if you can play them a lot, in a top-three line situation, that’s invaluable. We also have [Patrick] Rissmiller. There are things that are questions, but they are all positive questions.

There you have it folks. Patrick Rissmiller and Chris Thorburn will morph into 20-goal quasi-snipers. Dudley also counts on Alexander Burmistrov making the team immediately, despite the fact that the new Russian is "very slight" at the moment. He also counts on Evander Kane having a breakout year, Bryan Little bouncing back, and Andrew Ladd scoring anywhere between 15 and 25 goals. Meanwhile Dustin Byfuglien will play defense and Nic Bergfors IS going on with that Bergfors signing?

UPDATE: Scanning through the comments to this wacky report, I see that several people---including our friend Mr. Speaker/Smoothie/The Smoother of Wakefield---are making the case that Dudley's talk is some kind of theatrical media massage. What's REALLY going on, many say, is that there's going to be a trade in the near future. Something along the lines of Valabik, Bergfors, and a 1st for Jeff Carter or Jarome goddamn Iginla. Maybe. I remain skeptical. "Skeptical" as in "there is no way such a thing will happen."


Razor Catch Prey said...

I have a sense of impending doom whenever I read quotes from Rick Dudley. He has done nothing thus far to give me any hope.

Let's look at what Ole Duds has done so far:

1) Convinced DW to bring in Evginy Artyukin to play enforcer when Boulton was already on the roster. R2 was and old Dudley draft pick.

2) Passed up Cam Fowler and Jack Campbell for Burmistrov, whom he now maniacally mumbles about making the team this season.

3) Traded for Byfuglien, who was a role player for all but this year's playoffs, and three other role players from his old team.

4) Took a stand against paying the RFA centerpiece to the Kovalchuk trade.

5) Filled our coaching ranks with his old cronies from his playing, coaching, and managing days.

6) Filled our heads with threats of playing Byfuglien on D and Thorburn in a top 9 forward role.

7) Dumped Todd White off on another team.-- thank you, Dudley!

Razor Catch Prey said...

Oh, and thank you for the Christina Hendricks link. I didn't know she existed outside my DVD's of Firefly.

Smoothie Wakefield said...

Ha! I was thinking that perhaps you bumped into Chris Thorburn at the car wash and he gave you prognostications about scoring 15 goals this season. Of course, he'll prolly end up scoring 5 goals and then losing his spot next year and have to take a job washing cars at Gwinnett's.

And if you're relying on Shooter for your fix, then you are most definitely spending way too much time "restoring your honor"

Anonymous said...

But if Chris Thorburn scores my goals... then who will score Chris Thorburn's goals?

And yes, the Braves comeback yesterday was amazing.

Mortimer Peacock said...

It was SO amazing. I wept like a schoolchild when that umpire allowed Brian McCann to hit that homerun.

Anonymous said...

Better finish, that game or Brian McCann's grand slam in extras on 8/11?

h said...

I AM getting a little concerned with all of Dud's he crazy? or is he a genius and just trying to play with the press or motivate players through the press....I mean, seriously, WHY oh WHY is our GM talking about who should play where.....and where is Rammer through all of this. Has he even spoken to the media once? I heard Torch speak, I've heard Duds about 100 times...where is Rammer on all this? Just seems wierd that Duds is speaking so much about positioning. Go get us a 20 goal scorer and let the coaches take care of the rest! OK.....this season can't start fast enough for me! On that same note, if Zajac will truly be available, how much would YOU give up for him....if he'd sign with us long term, I might be willing to give up alot.

Mortimer Peacock said...


Yes, Dudley's comments are getting increasingly weird. BUT like you say, it's not like he's in charge of positioning. All that stuff is the coach's decision. I have doubts about Dudley's roster-building skills, though. He probably is gifted as a "talent evaluator," like people say, but I have a feeling he won't be a great GM.

tjm said...

I'm starting to wonder if I wasn't just high off the fact that dumbass was no longer GM? Maybe I am coming down now?

GoPuckYourself said...

Goofball, roll yourself a fat one, and sit back and watch yet another season in FailuretomeetexpectationsLand.

I've decided that I'm going to withhold judgement on this roster until the preseason. Additional roster moves are going to be made, and until I get an idea of what our 18 man roster is going to be like in a game situation, I'm going to stop trying to predict how things will be in October.

But Chris Thorburn sure as hell isn't a 20 goal scorer. That's a fact.

Wayne stuck in AL said...

Has anyone noticed he never mentioned Niclas Bergfors? He must be on the outs with Dudley...

Big Shooter said...

Goofman - A lot of people are like that. I've said from the start I didn't want Dudley and everyone thought I was crazy. Some people are starting to come around now.

Hopefully I'm wrong and he proves to be the right guy, I just don't think so. Side note: I don't know what this organizations hard on with Chris Thorburn is all about. Really.

Razor Catch Prey said...

I don't see another move being made. Hopefully I'm wrong about that, but I get the feeling that Dudley is talking to the media and talking up our players so much is because he doesn't think he can improve any more before puck drop.

As for why Dudley is the one doing all of this talking about things that aren't supposed to be the GM's job, well, there's a reason why he hasn't lasted more than three seasons as a GM anywhere.

It appears as though Duds may have authority issues. He couldn't get along with the ownership in TB, but who could? He hired Keenan in Florida and the owners decided to give Keenan his job. Then he only lasted one or two seasons in Ottawa.

Maybe he does have a grand plan that will improve our offense before day one. Maybe Coach is busy drawing up plays to make us the best team in hockey and can't be bothered to talk to the press. Or maybe Dudley is insane and hired an old friend of his to be a figurehead coach behind the bench who will let Dudley make all the decisions.

GoPuckYourself said...

For the record, if we offered Valabik/Bergfors/1st and could get either Carter or Iginla....I'd do that in a heartbeat. Valabik's can't skate for jack, Bergfors is a good player, and obviously every year Rick Dudley's going to use his first round pick that warranted these text messages from myself to other Thrasher fans...

"who the fuck?"
"did we just draft Justin Bieber?"

So if a trade like that can save me a mid-summer hockey-related heart attack, then I'm all for it.

Mr. Speaker said...

Don't worry, you'll all wrong.

And Duds has amazing hair.

M. Speaker

Mr. Speaker said...

Wow, that were grate grammer and speling. I shud right a blog of my own. But I stand by my Dudley Doo Bear, he's gonna mak fools outta you maroons.

M. Speekar

Big Shooter said...

He may well do that Speaks... but I just don't know what you (along with a whole bunch of other people, I might add) are basing this belief on other than the fact he isn't DW. And don't say the Blackhawks. Dale Tallon was the GM.

I like Buff, but we gave up WAY too much for him, and now he wants to use him on D when he is desperately needed on offense. Not sold on the use of our #8 pick. I do like both the Ladd trade and the Mason signing, solid. Don't like the hard line he is drawing with Bergfors. I will admit I don't think he has been as bad as his previous stops (yet), but he isn't the God people make him out to be either.

And yes, that thing on his head is amazing, for various reasons.

Big Shooter said...

Maybe we could sign that thing on his hand and IT will be our 15-20 goal scorer, heeennnggghhhh?????

Big Shooter said...

****that thing on his HEAD, even****

h said...

Did y'all see what Stempniak signed for? Wow. People were talking $3M per year or more and the dude signs for less than $2M a year? I'll bet Bergfors' agent was NOT happy to see that. I think the value for Bergy is set for somewhere between $1.75 per and $2.25 per but nothing more. Macarthur taking 1.1M didn't help the market either. Collusion by the owners? hmmmmmm. I think the negotiations on the collective bargaining agreement will be very interesting. Make a trade Duds! We don't have enough yet to get us to the playoffs, even with Thorburn's 45 goal season!!! hahahaha

Mr. Speaker said...

He may have drafted for shit when in Tampa but he's not given enough credit for assembling their Cup team. He put most of those pieces together. And despite a flight of lunacy in wanting to trade VinnyL, we'll never know what return he may have gotten SOOOOOO....what if on that bitches!

He's a risk-taker, no doubt, but no one here or anywhere else knows what kind of influence he may have had on Tallon and his decision-making / drafting. Tallon and Bowman both have tipped their hats to Dudley so I think y'all are being "glass half empty" for the sake of being pessimists. Then again, you treat hockey like a scorned lover don't you Big Boy?

At any rate, let's see what the roster looks like on Opening Night. I'm buoyed by the fact the team is being created in the image of Duds/Ramsay, the hockey players, so I'm not gonna count them out just yet. Ramsay knows the game of hockey and he may just be the one who really taps into our youth's potential like he did with Lucic, Krejci, Hunwick, Boychuk etc. Give him a freakin' chance before letting the sky hit you in the head.

GoPuckYourself said...

Didn't Bergfors say when he got traded here that coming to Atlanta "is what it is" or something along those lines? If the guy wasn't thrilled about being here in the first place, then that somewhat explains the fact that he still remains unsigned.

Mortimer Peacock said...