Saturday, March 13, 2010

Only Bad Can Make You Bored

Well, that's it, is it not?

You readers are all perceptive and knowledgeable hockey fans; you don't need us to tell you that everything about the Thrashers was bred in a Mediocrity Laboratory, that Don Waddell is a silly GM, that John Anderson should be told---via a dismissal---that he can't blame every loss on "bad bounces" and bad luck over and over through eternity.

This epic clusterfuckery is only possible through the patronage of the Atlanta Spirit, of course, so remember to thank them on your way out. C'mon y'all, give it up.

I've never left a game earlier than I did last night. Got myself a Jack-and-Coke at the Jack Daniels Bar, hung around in the concourse for a while talking to Big Shooter and Monsieur Catalogues, and just cold left the Gymnasium of Bullshit as the third period began. I did hear the goal horn and the roar of the crowd as I was crossing some street or other, but I figured it wouldn't mean anything. It didn't!

I used to think that, as awful as the Thrashers were, I could always enjoy going to the games and having a riotous old time watching NHL hockey and cheering on the hometown team. I often left the arena depressed, but that's just a part of being emotionally invested in something you really, really like. Like Neil Young and later Saint Etienne said, "Only love can break your heart."

These days though, I mostly feel numb. Immediately after the Olympics I said that the Thrashers may or may not make the playoffs, but that March would contain "ample opportunities for drama, brutality, romance, and pain." But it didn't do that. It didn't even offer stress. The Thrashers' losing ways are so predictable at this point, so lacking in any drama or just-missed-it/close-game intensity, that watching them play is just damned dull. Not stressful or heartbreaking, just dull.

And I have a horrible but clear sense that this dullness will be on endless loop until the team gets new owners who will do what's necessary to compete. I doubt they're going to fire Waddell. I can slightly imagine Waddell firing Anderson, even though that would be another admission of failure in huge blinking neon lights. Nothing is going to change until the current owners sell off the team. And more importantly, nothing is going to change until the current owners sell off the team.


ALSO: But hey! Springtime is coming, and now instead of going to mind-numbing hockey games we can all go fishing for sea beasts in the Outer Banks, or fight off drug-lords at a villa in Oaxaca. Or take a trip the Greek Isles; it must be cheap there these days, what with the collapsed economy and all...


CK said...

I was at the game last night as well. It's funny that you post this, I have never had less fun at a game before. The wind was completely out of my sails 0-3 down in the first period...because I knew this team wouldn't come back.

Not even the discovery if $6 32oz Sam Adams from the CNN center made it better.

the jointhead said...


Matt said...

ASG, the fucking death knell for NHL hockey in Atlanta.

Yes, I know that they have not owned the team for it's entire existence, but they sure as hell have accelerated the decline to irrelvancey.

I will now resume drinking.

Jay said...

The thing that sucks the most about this season is that those of us who follow this team closely knew it was a good team and would compete for the playoffs when no one else gave the Thrashers a chance. Then they started so well, and it's been downhill from there. The long losing streak around Christmas, Kovalchuk's contract negotiations going south, then him being traded, Lehtonen being traded, and then the Power Play becoming MIA. The powerplay would never have gotten this bad if Slava Kozlov were still alive. I'm thinking by now that Coca-Cola wants to get their sponsorship money back for even being associated with something as pathetic as the Thrashers' Powerplay. Coke Zero wouldn't mind being a sponsor since ZERO is usually the amount of shots they get on the damned thing. Anyways, as disappointing as this season has been, there is hope. More so than at this time in year's past. This team is young, has a collection of great prospects, and has a ton of draft picks. I do hope that the money they were planning on paying Kovalchuk gets used for other things, like resigning Kubina, resigning Moose or bringing in a capable veteran goalie to share the load with Pavelec, finding a sniper/powerplay forward in free agency(Marleau?) or in trade. Crabb replaces Armstrong, Kulda replaces Chelios/Shubert/Popovic as the 6th D-man, and Machacek replaces Kozlov. Build from the draft(Bogosian, Enstrom, Kane, Little), make smart trade pickups(Bergfors, Oduya, MacArthur), and supplement those with Free Agents(Antropov, Hainsey, Reasoner) and a sweet Waiver pickup(Peverley). As much as this season has spiraled into disappointment, I still have hope for the future. It could be worse, we could be Oilers fans.

Big Shooter said...

If you are Patty Marleau, why in the hell would you come here? You don't.

Mortimer Peacock said...

If I were Patty Marleau I'd be lighting a fat one in celebration of my career-high 41 goals.

GoPuckYourself said...

If you were anybody, why would you come play for this team? Hell, I wouldn't be surprised to see a draft pick pull a Blake Wheeler and flat out tell us that he doesn't want to play here.

This season smells of bitter disappointment to all of us, and I'm off to go consume some Jameson's and try and forget about the never-ending death cycle that has been this season. We SHOULD be in a REAL "March to the Playoffs" right now. Not a cheap marketing campaign to try and get a few more people in the building to watch shit hockey.

I'll keep coming to TBC, but I don't really think I can stomach even watching another game this season.

Jay said...

Marleau comes here if the money is right. Almost every athlete goes for the money. He'll talk about how he wants to make the Thrashers a winner, how his family loves Atlanta, how they have a good young team and just need a piece here and there, etc. Same old spin game, but it's almost always the money. Kovalchuk left because he couldn't stand the losing anymore. It wasn't about the money to him, he was just beaten down and defeated. The Thrashers money couldn't buy him happiness. Marleau hasn't experienced the Thrashers way of life. The money is always enticing.