Tuesday, May 5, 2009

A Children's Treasury of Semi-Literate Canuckist Reactions to the Phoenix Coyotes Bankruptcy

As you've all probably heard by now, the Phoenix Coyotes have filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy and apparently some Canadian dude who helped to unleash the BlackBerry on the world has thrown down $212.5 million (U.S., of course) to buy the team, on one condition: that they relocate to southern Ontario, where there are NO hockey teams.

For analysis of this complex situation you can go elsewhere (my take: Bettman will fight tooth-and-nail to prevent this); we of the Chronicle just want to trawl through the comments at Puck Daddy, TSN, James Mirtle, and elsewhere and share some malice from north of the border:

so much for that globe&mail Canadian conspiracy against the Coyotes eh Wysh? do you ever wonder what it must feel like to be a real sports journalist?

Translation: ZOMG Canadian resentment doesn't exist!!!!1!!!11!!!!one!!!!!

......back home where they belong, now if only the Thrashers would head north to Winnipeg and the Panthers to somewhere in British Columbia the sport of hockey may actually look like there are people in the stands that care more than a whit. No more warm weather expansion please (I guess I could live with Kansas City if it means one of the southern teams depart from their locale). Let's hope Bettman is thinking with the head on his shoulders as opposed to the one that wants to uh 'Blame Canada'.

Translation: Atlanta, Miami, Glendale...they're all in the desert, innit. All probably the same size too.

Gary Bettman is a NY lawyer who doesn't know [Sakic] about hockey.
Does anybody seriously think the other 29 owners would prefer to keep pouring money into the Phoenix Welfare Cases instead of raking it in on the Hamilton Gretzkys?
Next up: Atlanta, Florida, Nashville, Tampa.

Translation: Bettman is a Jew and Jews don't know anything about hockey. Also, Atlanta. Also, Florida and Tampa also. Also.

Bettman probably thought that fixing the Coyotes meant to have them spade or nudered. He doesn't understand that they need to "fix" a failure. Move them back to Winnipeg.

Winnipeg, etc.

Hmmm... A Canadian Billionaire that wants to bring a team to Canada where it will thrive, be profitable, and add excitement where previously they generated nothing... Only an idiot New York lawyer like Bettman could see the wrong in this... Give your head shake Gary...

The "New York lawyer" meme is strong with these folks.

O.K., I thought that we can voted on this. Were can we vote? Let's get our favourite game away from the Phoenix's the Tampa's, the Anaheims and the San Jose's. Bring it back to where hockey is revered. Let us vot GB!

Because Jebus knows San Jose doesn't draw a fan base.

1 comment:

Wayne from AL said...

Maybe it's high time we annex Canada and make it the 51st state...

(True fact: In William L. Shirer's The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich it twice mentioned Hitler openly wondered why the U.S. did not invade Canada.)

It's bad enough when Gordie Canuck wants to eliminate our Sunbelt teams, but when Northern U.S. fan wants to do the same...I think Northern fan is bitter because both the population and jobs are moving down here (i.e. the auto industry) and they're stuck up there in the old, dirty, grimy, cold North shovelling off snow in April.