The Traverse City Prospect Tournament is underway, and Evander Kane scored a goal in the the first game he's played wearing a Thrasher jersey. Unfortunately, the team of prospects performed a little too much like the Thrashers of old, blowing a three goal lead in the third period by surrendering five unanswered goals.
Boxscore here.
It is exciting to see that second Atlanta goal. Evander Kane, assisted by Eric O'Dell and Jeremy Morin. Kane and Kulda both took penalties in the game as well. Only Dannick Paquette finished the game with a positive +/- after the third period collapse.
Thrasher prospects play the Rangers today at 3:30 and the Canes on Wednesday, also at 3:30.
The Prospect game next Monday night at the Ice Forum against the Predators prospects is sold out. There may still be tickets available for the mid-day (1pm) game on Tuesday. For those of you who have tickets for Monday, I'll see you there!
Monday, September 7, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Shorter TSN
Scene: roundtable meeting of Canuckle-dragger Central Committee. Toronto. Implacable September weather rages outside. General Secretary of Canuckle-draggle Central Committee rises. He raises his syrup-stained hand for silence. He begins to speak:
Comrades!
Comrade Cullen compile analysis of Thrashers of Atlanta, reality-based!
Unfortunately, comrades, reality-based consideration of Comrade Cullen is a wrongtruth!
Wrongtruth must be suppressed.
Or at least buried.
Central Committee dictate Thrashers are bad forever!
Write: "Thrashers bad forever!"
Comrade Cullen's examination?
Put elsewhere.
Great Canuckle-dragging masses must never know.
Airbrush Trotskyite "Little" from all photographs!
Trotskyite "Peverley" never acknowledge!
Meeting adjourned!
[TSN Canuckle-dragging masturbation]
Friday, September 4, 2009
Matt McConnell New Play by Play Man
THANK GOD they finally figured it out!! Nothing against JP as a person, BUT THE MAN KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT HOCKEY AND HIS TRUE LOVE IS SOCCER!!!! You just can't grow a sport with that kind of a play by play guy.
And before I get in more trouble with my editor, the link is here. Oh yeah, if you are interested it also has the TV schedule. HD dates to be listed later.
Welcome back home, Matt. We had no idea how much we would miss you until we found out they replaced you with a soccer guy, but that is now finally in the past!
And before I get in more trouble with my editor, the link is here. Oh yeah, if you are interested it also has the TV schedule. HD dates to be listed later.
Welcome back home, Matt. We had no idea how much we would miss you until we found out they replaced you with a soccer guy, but that is now finally in the past!
JP Out, McConnell In and Other Brave Tales
I figured this was coming.
JP Dellacamera is off to do soccer full time, and from now on Darren Eliot's dramatic monologues will be accompanied by Matt McConnell's sexy play-by-play.
In response to this news, our Thrash-blogging comrade the Falconer tweeted: "Why didn't they promote Kamal to the Thrashers TV booth? Hello mute button."
Leaving aside how good or bad McConnell might be, for the life of me I've never understood why the Thrashers have never 1) united Kamal and Eliot, and 2) made the TV and radio feeds one and the same. Why hasn't this happened? WHY? HEEENNGH?
Meanwhile the 09-10 TV schedule has been released and it predictably blows ass. Another reason to get Center Ice, I suppose.
And finally, some dude at the Sporting News with the marvelous name of Luke DeCock has written a fair and reasonable Thrashers season preview, one that indicates he actually has some knowledge of the team, knows of what he types, etc.
JP Dellacamera is off to do soccer full time, and from now on Darren Eliot's dramatic monologues will be accompanied by Matt McConnell's sexy play-by-play.
In response to this news, our Thrash-blogging comrade the Falconer tweeted: "Why didn't they promote Kamal to the Thrashers TV booth? Hello mute button."
Leaving aside how good or bad McConnell might be, for the life of me I've never understood why the Thrashers have never 1) united Kamal and Eliot, and 2) made the TV and radio feeds one and the same. Why hasn't this happened? WHY? HEEENNGH?
Meanwhile the 09-10 TV schedule has been released and it predictably blows ass. Another reason to get Center Ice, I suppose.
And finally, some dude at the Sporting News with the marvelous name of Luke DeCock has written a fair and reasonable Thrashers season preview, one that indicates he actually has some knowledge of the team, knows of what he types, etc.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Eine Kleine Nachtmusik
Did you watch Maria Sharapova earlier? Really, did you?
Watching the Andy Roddick vs. some French guy match right now, mainly for the pleasure of John McEnroe's commentary. Anyway, McEnroe and whoever the dude is who does the commentary alongside McEnroe were talking about how tennis players are playing longer careers these days, well into their 30's and stuff.
Dude next to McEnroe is all like, "That's nothing compared to Chris Chelios."
McEnroe: "Yeah, that's a good point."
Whenever I hear hockey mentioned in the world-at-large, I feel like I've stepped into a parallel universe.
Watching the Andy Roddick vs. some French guy match right now, mainly for the pleasure of John McEnroe's commentary. Anyway, McEnroe and whoever the dude is who does the commentary alongside McEnroe were talking about how tennis players are playing longer careers these days, well into their 30's and stuff.
Dude next to McEnroe is all like, "That's nothing compared to Chris Chelios."
McEnroe: "Yeah, that's a good point."
Whenever I hear hockey mentioned in the world-at-large, I feel like I've stepped into a parallel universe.
In Thrashers Training Camp, Freedom Looks Like Too Many Choices
But too many choices is a good thing, in this case.
OK, allow me to get this straight.
Not only have the Thrashers invited Manny Legace to training camp, but they've invited the likes of Mark Popovic and Dan Fritsche as well.
Your Chronicle editor must admit he has a soft spot for Mark Popovic. Indeed, I think he was one of our least horrible d-men (the best non-Swedish one, really) during the catastrophic 07-08 season, and I was sorry to see him run off to Russia for babes and rubles. But now he's back and trying out for the team, so hooray!
This Dan Fritsche guy doesn't sound too bad either. Still quite young, a U.S. Murkin, played for the Columbus Blue Jackets and the Minnesota Wild and some other people, seems solid as a fourth line sort of guy.
Come to think of it, Popovic looks a damn sight better than a few of the official Thrashers d-men contending for the bottom pairing. Two of them, actually. You know who I'm talking about. Not Anssi Salmela; that guy rules.
Also, from the Twitter files of USA Today's Kevin Allen:
Just talked to Atlanta GM Don Waddell and he says he's still confident he will re-sign Ilya Kovalchuk. They have traded offers.
Wooooooooo
OK, allow me to get this straight.
Not only have the Thrashers invited Manny Legace to training camp, but they've invited the likes of Mark Popovic and Dan Fritsche as well.
Your Chronicle editor must admit he has a soft spot for Mark Popovic. Indeed, I think he was one of our least horrible d-men (the best non-Swedish one, really) during the catastrophic 07-08 season, and I was sorry to see him run off to Russia for babes and rubles. But now he's back and trying out for the team, so hooray!
This Dan Fritsche guy doesn't sound too bad either. Still quite young, a U.S. Murkin, played for the Columbus Blue Jackets and the Minnesota Wild and some other people, seems solid as a fourth line sort of guy.
Come to think of it, Popovic looks a damn sight better than a few of the official Thrashers d-men contending for the bottom pairing. Two of them, actually. You know who I'm talking about. Not Anssi Salmela; that guy rules.
Also, from the Twitter files of USA Today's Kevin Allen:
Just talked to Atlanta GM Don Waddell and he says he's still confident he will re-sign Ilya Kovalchuk. They have traded offers.
Wooooooooo
The Sputnik of the Hockey Blogosphere?
Major breakthroughs in hockey blogospheric communications, folks.
You've probably already seen this at Puck Daddy, but we'll report on it anyway.
Basically, the Pensblog have shot what we can be reasonably sure is the first-ever hockey blog commercial. It also features the ladies of Puck Huffers plus some other people. Hilariously enough, I was wondering not too long ago about this very thing, whether hockey blogs would ever release promo reels or real live commercials, etc. Now we know that, indeed, they will!
Anyway, here it is:
Only a matter of time until everyone else follows suit.
You've probably already seen this at Puck Daddy, but we'll report on it anyway.
Basically, the Pensblog have shot what we can be reasonably sure is the first-ever hockey blog commercial. It also features the ladies of Puck Huffers plus some other people. Hilariously enough, I was wondering not too long ago about this very thing, whether hockey blogs would ever release promo reels or real live commercials, etc. Now we know that, indeed, they will!
Anyway, here it is:
Only a matter of time until everyone else follows suit.
The Anti-Heatley
[Ed. note: Big Shooter is lazy, and this is a shoddily put-together post. Read at your own risk. -MP]
{Big Shooter's edit: Fuck off Morty}
Bear with me for just a small moment here. As many of you know, after the Thrashers, my true love is the Edmonton Oilers. Good boys, all of them. Now, when news broke of the Heatley trade I was horrified. I'll spare you all the details as you may know them already, but to sum it up briefly, the Ghost of Billy Mays stopped the Heatley trade to Edmonton.
How then, I thought to myself, would Smid and Cogliano react to ALMOST getting traded? I didn't care so much about that Penner guy. Surely if someone can try and force his way out of town just because he played on the 2nd power play unit for a part of 30 games, then these Edomonton boys must REALLY want out of town knowing there team TRIED to move them. Let's see what they have to say:
WHY DON'T WE START WITH THIS GREAT ARTICLE FROM THE EDMONTON SUN, VIA THE FOURTH PERIOD:
Smid's glad Heatley didn't accept the move and he's ready to start the new season still a member of the Oilers.
"I'm just really happy that it worked out like that and I could stay here and play with the Oilers," he said.
"I feel good here, I bought a house a couple of years ago and it would be hard for me to move somewhere else. My life is pretty much here."
And then there is this FROM A TSN ARTICLE:
"I've had a couple of good conversations with (Oilers' GM) Steve (Tambellini) and he just said that this is how things go and this is the business side of sports," stated Cogliano. "He apologized about how it came out and how it got leaked out, I'm not holding any grudges towards anyone, that's just how it happened."
The 22-year old sees the trade talks as motivation for a big season.
"I'm a team player, I'm not going to put my ego in front of the team or in front of anyone," said Cogliano. "It could have been someone else in the trade talks, but it was me."
And that, my friends, is how you are supposed to behave when you are making millions of dollars to play a game.
{Big Shooter's edit: Fuck off Morty}
Bear with me for just a small moment here. As many of you know, after the Thrashers, my true love is the Edmonton Oilers. Good boys, all of them. Now, when news broke of the Heatley trade I was horrified. I'll spare you all the details as you may know them already, but to sum it up briefly, the Ghost of Billy Mays stopped the Heatley trade to Edmonton.
How then, I thought to myself, would Smid and Cogliano react to ALMOST getting traded? I didn't care so much about that Penner guy. Surely if someone can try and force his way out of town just because he played on the 2nd power play unit for a part of 30 games, then these Edomonton boys must REALLY want out of town knowing there team TRIED to move them. Let's see what they have to say:
WHY DON'T WE START WITH THIS GREAT ARTICLE FROM THE EDMONTON SUN, VIA THE FOURTH PERIOD:
Smid's glad Heatley didn't accept the move and he's ready to start the new season still a member of the Oilers.
"I'm just really happy that it worked out like that and I could stay here and play with the Oilers," he said.
"I feel good here, I bought a house a couple of years ago and it would be hard for me to move somewhere else. My life is pretty much here."
And then there is this FROM A TSN ARTICLE:
"I've had a couple of good conversations with (Oilers' GM) Steve (Tambellini) and he just said that this is how things go and this is the business side of sports," stated Cogliano. "He apologized about how it came out and how it got leaked out, I'm not holding any grudges towards anyone, that's just how it happened."
The 22-year old sees the trade talks as motivation for a big season.
"I'm a team player, I'm not going to put my ego in front of the team or in front of anyone," said Cogliano. "It could have been someone else in the trade talks, but it was me."
And that, my friends, is how you are supposed to behave when you are making millions of dollars to play a game.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
The Thrashers Will Have Nik Zherdev, Manny Malhotra, 1983 Wayne Gretzky, and Manny Legace By October
You already know about the Legace business, right? Read all about it anyway.
For the Zherdev business, keep a'scrollin'.
For the Zherdev business, keep a'scrollin'.
Do the Thrashers Need Zherdev?
Thanks to loyal ally A2B for bringing the Zherdev rumors to our attention. The question I have, however, is do we really want him?
Zherdev is a decent player. In Colombus, he was the second big scoring threat behind Rick Nash. That's why the New York Rangers happily scooped him up last year in a trade for Fedor Tyutin and Christian Backman. However, the Rangers soon learned that they hadn't actually swindled the Blue Jackets. In fact, Tyutin and Backman for Zherdev and Fritsche is pretty much a wash.
While it's nice that he can play on either wing, Zherdev really isn't anything more than a proven 20 goal scorer. That's right, I said 20, not 40. He's got decent size, pretty good puck handling skills and speed, but can only be expected to pot about 20-25 biscuits a year.
That's nothing to sneeze at, you say? Ok, given. But where do you put him? He can play either wing, so you can plug him in anywhere you find an opening in the lineup.
Top line? Let's see... I don't think you're going to get anyone to agree that he should be bump Kovy down to the second line, so he won't play left wing on that one. Right wing? Is he better than Antropov or Little? Probably not.
Ok, second line, then. Is he better than Slava Kozlov? Not unless our own Russian Sherlock shifts off of this mortal coil like he did two seasons ago. How about the right side then? Again, that's the position held by either Little or Antropov.
So we're down to putting Zherdev on the third line. Army is anchoring one side of that line with his own size and 20 goal reliability, and Marty the Party is working the faceoff dot. Everyone in the blogosphere has been penciling in a rotation of Kane/Stapleton/Crabb or some other combination of young talent in that spot.
Zherdev is a known entity that would solidify that third line. But can you get him for third line money? This team has a painful history of paying third line players first line money, and no one wants to return to the Bobby Holik days. I'd rather develop some young talent for $550-850k a year than to overpay Zherdev to fill that slot.
But by all means, if DW can convince him to take 1-2.25 million and play a third line role in John Anderson's system, then go for it.
Zherdev is a decent player. In Colombus, he was the second big scoring threat behind Rick Nash. That's why the New York Rangers happily scooped him up last year in a trade for Fedor Tyutin and Christian Backman. However, the Rangers soon learned that they hadn't actually swindled the Blue Jackets. In fact, Tyutin and Backman for Zherdev and Fritsche is pretty much a wash.
While it's nice that he can play on either wing, Zherdev really isn't anything more than a proven 20 goal scorer. That's right, I said 20, not 40. He's got decent size, pretty good puck handling skills and speed, but can only be expected to pot about 20-25 biscuits a year.
That's nothing to sneeze at, you say? Ok, given. But where do you put him? He can play either wing, so you can plug him in anywhere you find an opening in the lineup.
Top line? Let's see... I don't think you're going to get anyone to agree that he should be bump Kovy down to the second line, so he won't play left wing on that one. Right wing? Is he better than Antropov or Little? Probably not.
Ok, second line, then. Is he better than Slava Kozlov? Not unless our own Russian Sherlock shifts off of this mortal coil like he did two seasons ago. How about the right side then? Again, that's the position held by either Little or Antropov.
So we're down to putting Zherdev on the third line. Army is anchoring one side of that line with his own size and 20 goal reliability, and Marty the Party is working the faceoff dot. Everyone in the blogosphere has been penciling in a rotation of Kane/Stapleton/Crabb or some other combination of young talent in that spot.
Zherdev is a known entity that would solidify that third line. But can you get him for third line money? This team has a painful history of paying third line players first line money, and no one wants to return to the Bobby Holik days. I'd rather develop some young talent for $550-850k a year than to overpay Zherdev to fill that slot.
But by all means, if DW can convince him to take 1-2.25 million and play a third line role in John Anderson's system, then go for it.
Those Silly Zherdev Rumors Are True
I'd thought they were just, um, rumors. But...Nikolai being interviewed recently by Sports Express Russia:
In the North American press there is conjecture that you could be excellent in combination with Kovalchuk and Antropov in Atlanta.
- The most serious dialog goes on with the Thrashers. It’s true there are other options. But personally I would like to end up in Atlanta, where several good Russian players play. It would be comfortable and pleasant to play with them.
- Have you already talked to Kovalchuk about this topic?
- I’m actively preparing for the season with him now, and of course I asked him about the city and the conditions on the team. Ilya, naturally, invites me to Atlanta with all his might (laughs). The company could indeed turn out to be first class. As you know I played last season with Antropov on the Rangers, we even shared a room [on the road]. And there’s also Vyacheslav Kozlov. Most likely, I’ll sign a contract with the Thrashers for one year — to begin with, it’s necessary to familiarize myself [with the team/city].
WHAT WHAT WHAT?
And I guess the Tooth Fairy is real too, because of this interview. And it's now true that all the criminals in Gotham City ARE defeated by the Batman.
[Via Beyond the Blue Shirts]
In the North American press there is conjecture that you could be excellent in combination with Kovalchuk and Antropov in Atlanta.
- The most serious dialog goes on with the Thrashers. It’s true there are other options. But personally I would like to end up in Atlanta, where several good Russian players play. It would be comfortable and pleasant to play with them.
- Have you already talked to Kovalchuk about this topic?
- I’m actively preparing for the season with him now, and of course I asked him about the city and the conditions on the team. Ilya, naturally, invites me to Atlanta with all his might (laughs). The company could indeed turn out to be first class. As you know I played last season with Antropov on the Rangers, we even shared a room [on the road]. And there’s also Vyacheslav Kozlov. Most likely, I’ll sign a contract with the Thrashers for one year — to begin with, it’s necessary to familiarize myself [with the team/city].
WHAT WHAT WHAT?
And I guess the Tooth Fairy is real too, because of this interview. And it's now true that all the criminals in Gotham City ARE defeated by the Batman.
[Via Beyond the Blue Shirts]
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Be Part of Our Fantasy
It's customary for the Chronicle staff to compete against one another in a hellacious fantasy hockey league every season, but this year we've decided to open the fun to anyone who wants to play. So, loyal readers, if you're into this fantasy hockey thing, you should join our league.
Just head over to Yahoo! Fantasy Hockey , click on "Join a League," and then do what I says yotta do:
League ID #: 91821
Password: hellowookies
The draft will be live and for real, not automatic unless you wish your choices to be so. I've tentatively scheduled the draft for 10:00 PM on Monday September 7; if there are all kinds of problems with this, just let me know and I'll happily re-schedule.
It's a points league. You get to choose two centers, two left wingers, two right wingers, four defensemen, two goalies, and four bench players that you can swap in and out as you see fit. That means you actually get to act as a hockey overlord and not as a lucky or unlucky automaton, so hooray!
Limit of 12 teams. Act quickly.
Just head over to Yahoo! Fantasy Hockey , click on "Join a League," and then do what I says yotta do:
League ID #: 91821
Password: hellowookies
The draft will be live and for real, not automatic unless you wish your choices to be so. I've tentatively scheduled the draft for 10:00 PM on Monday September 7; if there are all kinds of problems with this, just let me know and I'll happily re-schedule.
It's a points league. You get to choose two centers, two left wingers, two right wingers, four defensemen, two goalies, and four bench players that you can swap in and out as you see fit. That means you actually get to act as a hockey overlord and not as a lucky or unlucky automaton, so hooray!
Limit of 12 teams. Act quickly.
2 Season Previews on the Day of the Clodhoppers
Ah, September, cool and damp. Real hockey, with live humans, will be going down at Philips Arena in 20 days. With beer, even! I have a hard time believing it, but the overcast skies and brisk breezes are setting an appropriate atmosphere. Plus the schedule says so.
ANYWAY, the well is running dangerously dry today, this 70th anniversary of the day in that Auden poem. But that's okay, because if you head over to Blueland Outsider and Rawhide's blog you'll find two fine pre-season ruminations, both of which I agree with. With which I agree both of, I mean to say. One must always be on one's quickest feet against slovenly grammar.
Anyway, read them. I agree with Aaron's to the point that I envision the exact same line combinations. BUT:
Stewart/Crabb/Sterling – Reasoner – Armstrong
Imma call this The Business Line. As in, it's Business Time, call the Business Line. And this Business Line brings the Party.
Party Line or Business Line? Both, ladies and gentlemen. Both.
ANYWAY, the well is running dangerously dry today, this 70th anniversary of the day in that Auden poem. But that's okay, because if you head over to Blueland Outsider and Rawhide's blog you'll find two fine pre-season ruminations, both of which I agree with. With which I agree both of, I mean to say. One must always be on one's quickest feet against slovenly grammar.
Anyway, read them. I agree with Aaron's to the point that I envision the exact same line combinations. BUT:
Stewart/Crabb/Sterling – Reasoner – Armstrong
Imma call this The Business Line. As in, it's Business Time, call the Business Line. And this Business Line brings the Party.
Party Line or Business Line? Both, ladies and gentlemen. Both.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Miscellany
"Miscellany" sounds an awful lot like Messolonghi, does it not?
Anyway. I peered into my Gmail this morning and what did I see?
Dear Mortimer,
The 2009-10 Thrashers Season begins in just 4 weeks!
Your 2009-10 Season Tickets will be mailed via UPS (an adult signature will be required) to the address below during the second week of September:
Mortimer Peacock
250 Rue de Peacock
Apt. #3314
Atlanta, GA 30309
Hooray!
************
Seems that the various nationalities' Olympic training camps are all over and done with. Via Dmitry Chesnokov's Twitter feed, here's a pornographic photo of Team Russia's camp:
Little Ivan and Big Ivan.
Rumor has it that Kovalchuk will be playing on a line with Malkin and Frolov. Just thought you should know.
************
Speaking of international tournaments: At the moment your Chronicle editor is reading the diaries of his hero/nominee for greatest living human Vaclav Havel. Came across this entry, dated May 16, 2005 and written in some place called "Washington DC":
Yesterday at the embassy, together with many of the local Czechs, we watched the final match in the World Hockey Championship, which the Czech Republic won. As usual, it seems the whole nation was caught up in it. I shared in the general excitement, the admiration of the players' skills, and the joy of victory but I couldn't help thinking again about something that has bothered me for a long time: these marvelous players are like billboards on skates. Anyone who didn't know what the Czech coat of arms looked like, which probably means most of the people in the world, would have no idea these boys were playing for the Czech Republic. It looked more as though they were playing for the Skoda automobile works and a cooking pot called Zepter.
Much better to go with a tasteful Nike swish.
Foppa
I'm going to do my best impersonation of a Leaf/Ranger fan* and say that if Peter Forsberg is able to make a comeback and play in the NHL this season, the Thrashers should sign him to a one year contract.
Much like Cam Neely and Bobby Orr, Foppa was once the best player in the NHL but nagging injuries have threatened to end his career far earlier than anyone would like. A lesser man would have hung them up five years ago. Foppa is a tough SOB and a man who loves hockey too much to let blinding pain keep him off the ice.
In addition, he's a man who has previously stated that Philips Arena is his favorite place to play. He loves our home rink. Let's give him 41 regular season games here.
As a member of the Avalanche, Foppa turned all the players around him into forces in their own rights, and has shown that he is a great teacher of young talent. See Hejduk, Milan; Drury, Chris; Deadmarsh, Adam.
Imagine the possible line combinations. Early in the season, when he's still getting his wheels back, he could play third line minutes mentoring young stars-to-be like Evander Kane or Tim Stapleton. Then, once he's back up to speed, John Anderson could roll these forward lines:
Kovy--Foppa--Antro
Kozy--White--Little
Party--Pevs--Army
Thor--Slats--Bolts
WHEN (not if) Foppa gets hurt, you can move Pevs up to the top line, have Marty the Party play center on line 3 and bring up an able body from Chicago.
I submit to you that's not just a playoff team, but a third-round playoff team. Of course signing Foppa for one year isn't going to be much evidence to the Czar that the team is on the right track for the long haul, but it would help improve the team's overall image around the league and help convince free agents to give us a more thorough look in the future.
*- It's not that good of an impersonation. A real Leaf/Ranger fan would say that Foppa OBVIOUSLY WANTS to come to our team and it's a foregone conclusion that it will happen.
Much like Cam Neely and Bobby Orr, Foppa was once the best player in the NHL but nagging injuries have threatened to end his career far earlier than anyone would like. A lesser man would have hung them up five years ago. Foppa is a tough SOB and a man who loves hockey too much to let blinding pain keep him off the ice.
In addition, he's a man who has previously stated that Philips Arena is his favorite place to play. He loves our home rink. Let's give him 41 regular season games here.
As a member of the Avalanche, Foppa turned all the players around him into forces in their own rights, and has shown that he is a great teacher of young talent. See Hejduk, Milan; Drury, Chris; Deadmarsh, Adam.
Imagine the possible line combinations. Early in the season, when he's still getting his wheels back, he could play third line minutes mentoring young stars-to-be like Evander Kane or Tim Stapleton. Then, once he's back up to speed, John Anderson could roll these forward lines:
Kovy--Foppa--Antro
Kozy--White--Little
Party--Pevs--Army
Thor--Slats--Bolts
WHEN (not if) Foppa gets hurt, you can move Pevs up to the top line, have Marty the Party play center on line 3 and bring up an able body from Chicago.
I submit to you that's not just a playoff team, but a third-round playoff team. Of course signing Foppa for one year isn't going to be much evidence to the Czar that the team is on the right track for the long haul, but it would help improve the team's overall image around the league and help convince free agents to give us a more thorough look in the future.
*- It's not that good of an impersonation. A real Leaf/Ranger fan would say that Foppa OBVIOUSLY WANTS to come to our team and it's a foregone conclusion that it will happen.
Friday, August 28, 2009
JR To Save America With Roenicklife Insurance
This came to my attention yesterday, thanks to Aaron the Outsider. It's possibly the most awesome news of the century, but words defeat me. Its awesomeness simply transcends anything anyone could possibly say about it.
Click and marvel.
Lots of fighting in the Politics these days, about the Insurance. JR is selling something called "life insurance" which is apparently not the same thing as the health insurance that's such a popular subject right now among political folk like Obama, poor old dead Ted Kennedy (who your editor once saw, in person, in a chamber of a senatorial committee, sitting next to John McCain and Hillary Clinton, red-faced-ly haranguing Paul Wolfowitz about something or other; this is true!), and all those horrible old people screaming things at town hall meetings about African socialism euthanizing their Medicare.
Nevertheless, I think all of America's troubles, from the pretend-civil-war bickering between libtards and Flat Earthers to our bad health insurance arrangement itself, will be solved immediately if everyone in these United States simply buys life insurance from Jeremy Roenick. Because when Jeremy Roenick is doing well, we're all doing well.
So THIS Will Win Them the Cup
Ah ha, it turns out, all of a sudden, that there IS hockey stuff to talk about! On the other hand, this is hockey news that nobody except your editor cares about, probably.
Anyway, the San Jose Sharks have just made their long-anticipated ultra-big off-season move that will solve their playoff woes forever. Evil hockey baron Doug Wilson has traded the awesome-on-the-video-games Christian Ehrhoff, as well as that Brad Lukowitch guy, to the Vancouver Canucks in exchange for some guy and some guy, the end, you can read about it here.
At least they didn't trade Marleau for Heatley.
ALSO, apparently ancient squirrel Mike Babcock put together a line of Marleau-Thornton-Heatley during last night's People-Who-Might-Be-On-Team-Canada scrimmage. Haw!
"Last Week, I Sawr a Film/ As I Recall It Was a Horror Film..."
Nothing hockey-related to talk about, so here's the funniest thing to come from people associated with SNL in a long, long, long time:
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Bradley Gets It
Well, after getting crapped on by so many people from so many different outlets, it's nice to know that Mark Bradley of the AJC understands us Thrasher fans.
Why doesn't everyone think like him? Hmmmm? Heeenngh?
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Edit (for our newer readers out there):
Why doesn't everyone think like him? Hmmmm? Heeenngh?
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Edit (for our newer readers out there):
In Which Rawhide Tries to Scare Us With Waddell Quotes, Then and Now
So your Chronicle editor is trying to enjoy his lunch hour by drinking a whiskey-and-coke to take the edge off his case of swine flu, reading a bit in the first volume of G.M. Trevelyan's great trilogy about Garibaldi, and listening to NWA and Rick Astley. Miserable as I am with this were-pig sickness, I'm enjoying relatively untroubled thoughts about the Atlanta Thrashers. From where I sit, the future looks bright, especially if we get that damn Kovalchuk contract signed.
Then I look up from Trevelyan on Garibaldi, "Never Gonna Give You Up" blaring in my earphones, and click my way to Rawhide's blog. I read the following:
Thrashers’ GM Don Waddell had this to say two years ago regarding the contract talks with Marian Hossa:
“It’s progressing, and as long as we continue to have the kind of talks that we had, they’re very upbeat and on target with where we’re headed, then at some point here we’ll be able to announce a deal,”
Contrast that with his recent comments to Chris Vivlamore:
“We’ve had several face-to-face meetings…We’ve had some very, very long discussions….I feel very confident that at some point - I don’t know when that point will be - but at some point, we will get a contract done”.
The similarities in those two comments are spookily similar, don’t ya think?
Oh man. My first impulse when I read this kind of thing is, of course, to panic. But when I look at the two DW comments again, I have to say there's a slight difference. I hate to disagree with our esteemed friend, and that recurring "at some point" certainly gives me pause, but let's examine these two comments a bit more closely-er:
The Hossa comment: "It’s progressing, and as long as we continue to have the kind of talks that we had, they’re very upbeat and on target with where we’re headed, then at some point here we’ll be able to announce a deal."
This DW comment is just vague all the way through, and therefore it's impossible draw anything concrete or meaningful out of it. In some ways, "on target with where we're headed" is pretty accurate: I'm sure that by that point Hossa was well on his way to jumping ship.
The Kovalchuk comment: "We’ve had several face-to-face meetings…We’ve had some very, very long discussions….I feel very confident that at some point - I don’t know when that point will be - but at some point, we will get a contract done."
This is still a bit vague, which is inevitable with any kind of PR-to-reporter-speak, but I think DW is much more specific here. He clearly says there have been face-to-face meetings (even "very, very long discussions"!) and he says that HE'S confident, not that the talks themselves have been "upbeat" or whatever. I feel like we're on better footing here.
But then again, I might be wrong, and should sink further into swine panic. Whatever the truth about the Kovalchuk negotiations might be, Rick knows my heart:
P.S. Not to mention the fact that Kovalchuk is the captain, the Czar, the franchise player, seems to feel committed to the team, etc. This is common knowledge.
Then I look up from Trevelyan on Garibaldi, "Never Gonna Give You Up" blaring in my earphones, and click my way to Rawhide's blog. I read the following:
Thrashers’ GM Don Waddell had this to say two years ago regarding the contract talks with Marian Hossa:
“It’s progressing, and as long as we continue to have the kind of talks that we had, they’re very upbeat and on target with where we’re headed, then at some point here we’ll be able to announce a deal,”
Contrast that with his recent comments to Chris Vivlamore:
“We’ve had several face-to-face meetings…We’ve had some very, very long discussions….I feel very confident that at some point - I don’t know when that point will be - but at some point, we will get a contract done”.
The similarities in those two comments are spookily similar, don’t ya think?
Oh man. My first impulse when I read this kind of thing is, of course, to panic. But when I look at the two DW comments again, I have to say there's a slight difference. I hate to disagree with our esteemed friend, and that recurring "at some point" certainly gives me pause, but let's examine these two comments a bit more closely-er:
The Hossa comment: "It’s progressing, and as long as we continue to have the kind of talks that we had, they’re very upbeat and on target with where we’re headed, then at some point here we’ll be able to announce a deal."
This DW comment is just vague all the way through, and therefore it's impossible draw anything concrete or meaningful out of it. In some ways, "on target with where we're headed" is pretty accurate: I'm sure that by that point Hossa was well on his way to jumping ship.
The Kovalchuk comment: "We’ve had several face-to-face meetings…We’ve had some very, very long discussions….I feel very confident that at some point - I don’t know when that point will be - but at some point, we will get a contract done."
This is still a bit vague, which is inevitable with any kind of PR-to-reporter-speak, but I think DW is much more specific here. He clearly says there have been face-to-face meetings (even "very, very long discussions"!) and he says that HE'S confident, not that the talks themselves have been "upbeat" or whatever. I feel like we're on better footing here.
But then again, I might be wrong, and should sink further into swine panic. Whatever the truth about the Kovalchuk negotiations might be, Rick knows my heart:
P.S. Not to mention the fact that Kovalchuk is the captain, the Czar, the franchise player, seems to feel committed to the team, etc. This is common knowledge.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Puck Daddy Meets, Er, Transcribes the Czar
Surely this is a record for posts in a day.
Anyway, here's the link to Dmitry Chesnokov's interview with our glorious and ass-kicking Czar, the end.
UPDATE: Wait a second. Chesnokov didn't interview Kovalchuk in this post; it's merely a translation and transcription of a Russian interview with Sovietsky Sport. What a fool is I!
Anyway, here's the link to Dmitry Chesnokov's interview with our glorious and ass-kicking Czar, the end.
UPDATE: Wait a second. Chesnokov didn't interview Kovalchuk in this post; it's merely a translation and transcription of a Russian interview with Sovietsky Sport. What a fool is I!
Why Does Anyone Take This Smug Earnest Fucktard Seriously?
Late to this, but thanks to Aaron the Outsider (only recently returned from his sabbatical chopping down oaks and turning them into guitars) in the comments, I've come across this filth from some pedant in Minnesota.
It's a list of the Top 10 Best and Worst Fan Bases in the NHL (even though it's not, really; it's actually a ranking of all the teams' fan bases). Wyshynski has already trashed it, which is exactly what this shit deserves, and, well...
This Derek Felska character made the same list last year; somehow it came to my attention and I wrote this:
I'm not really interested in where Atlanta ranks (#26) or where anyone else ranks, for that matter. What interests and appalls me is that commentators like Derek Felska (Minnesotan's name) talk about fan attendance and "hockey markets" in a vacuum, as if there are no external factors that influence fan turn-out or local press coverage...
But there's hope, hockey fans. You see, I've heard about this new invention called the Internet, and I'm aware there's a serious market for hockey coverage thereabouts. I suggest you look into it.
Which brings us to what really riles me about Felska's piece this time around:
#30 - Atlanta Thrashers - 9.2
Pct. of Capacity in 2008-09: 78.8% (14,626, 29th in the NHL) Online Presence: 3.2
Last Year's Rank: 26th
Justification: I am going to share a little story with you which will might explain why the Atlanta Thrashers are deserving of being called the league's worst fans. Just this spring, I went down Georgia as part of an Educators Tour to Ft. Benning. On our way back, we were given the day to enjoy downtown Atlanta. While there I went into a sports apparrel shop, which was filled with all sorts of Atlanta sports team clothing; Braves jerseys, Falcons jerseys, and some college football jerseys yet nowhere to be found was anything pertaining to the Thrashers. I asked the attendant, "Do you have any Atlanta Thrashers stuff" and I was met with a confused look and then a quick question to her co-worker, "Do we have any Thrashers stuff?" A few seconds later they pointed me to the only two items they had pertaining to the the Thrashers along with an explaination of how extremely rare it is anyone is looking for their merchandise. Now does that mean that there are almost no Thrashers fans out there? No, but in the larger scheme of things there does not appear to be too many. In a Southern city where its almost a challenge to find someone with a southern drawl, it might surprise people just how many Atlanta residents are people who used to live in areas which are quite familiar with snow and ice. The Thrashers online presence is very small and that does little to help a team that many in Atlanta seem to struggle to remember they are even there. That sound you just heard was Ilya Kovalchuk screaming over the fact he has at least one more season with the team.
Haw haw. In what fucking universe can the Thrashers' online presence be considered small?
What's really fucking amazing about this Felska character is that he freely admits to not really investigating team blogs and forums to get an adequate idea of "online presence" (follow the link and read his comments about last year's Dead Last Fans, those of the New Jersey Devils), but he trusts his arbitrary pseudo-scientific reasoning so perfectly that he can't be bothered to adapt his opinions when he encounters new facts.
One more thing: for a guy who fancies himself a thorough and comprehensive hockey mind, his writing, in style and thought, is fucking atrocious.
Perhaps in some way I was inspired by David Letterman's Top 10 list, but I can't stand his show with his lists being the one redeeming quality of it. I know I've used that concept for a few post-season banquet speeches at the conclusion of a sports season and admittedly its a very effective delivery style. Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) and Garth Algar (Dana Carvey) of Wayne's World fame used to also utilize their Top 10 lists and just like the shootout I can't pry myself away until its over. Hopefully 30 thru 11 has you captivated much the same way. While some hockey purists hate the shootout, how many of them shut the TV off during the shootout? Precisely. They don't, they watch with perhaps just slightly less interest than those who either have embraced it or the very least accepted it as a way to conclude a regular season game. Before I go too far off on a tangent about the shootout I will redirect this back to the main point of this series.
Is there really a definitive way to determine whose fans are the best?
In all honesty, I don't really believe there is.
This is really beyond commentary, so I'll just stick to matters of taste: This dude hates David Letterman but actually enjoys the Top 10 list. I repeat: he hates David Letterman but actually enjoys the Top 10 list.
I rest my case.
It's a list of the Top 10 Best and Worst Fan Bases in the NHL (even though it's not, really; it's actually a ranking of all the teams' fan bases). Wyshynski has already trashed it, which is exactly what this shit deserves, and, well...
This Derek Felska character made the same list last year; somehow it came to my attention and I wrote this:
I'm not really interested in where Atlanta ranks (#26) or where anyone else ranks, for that matter. What interests and appalls me is that commentators like Derek Felska (Minnesotan's name) talk about fan attendance and "hockey markets" in a vacuum, as if there are no external factors that influence fan turn-out or local press coverage...
But there's hope, hockey fans. You see, I've heard about this new invention called the Internet, and I'm aware there's a serious market for hockey coverage thereabouts. I suggest you look into it.
Which brings us to what really riles me about Felska's piece this time around:
#30 - Atlanta Thrashers - 9.2
Pct. of Capacity in 2008-09: 78.8% (14,626, 29th in the NHL) Online Presence: 3.2
Last Year's Rank: 26th
Justification: I am going to share a little story with you which will might explain why the Atlanta Thrashers are deserving of being called the league's worst fans. Just this spring, I went down Georgia as part of an Educators Tour to Ft. Benning. On our way back, we were given the day to enjoy downtown Atlanta. While there I went into a sports apparrel shop, which was filled with all sorts of Atlanta sports team clothing; Braves jerseys, Falcons jerseys, and some college football jerseys yet nowhere to be found was anything pertaining to the Thrashers. I asked the attendant, "Do you have any Atlanta Thrashers stuff" and I was met with a confused look and then a quick question to her co-worker, "Do we have any Thrashers stuff?" A few seconds later they pointed me to the only two items they had pertaining to the the Thrashers along with an explaination of how extremely rare it is anyone is looking for their merchandise. Now does that mean that there are almost no Thrashers fans out there? No, but in the larger scheme of things there does not appear to be too many. In a Southern city where its almost a challenge to find someone with a southern drawl, it might surprise people just how many Atlanta residents are people who used to live in areas which are quite familiar with snow and ice. The Thrashers online presence is very small and that does little to help a team that many in Atlanta seem to struggle to remember they are even there. That sound you just heard was Ilya Kovalchuk screaming over the fact he has at least one more season with the team.
Haw haw. In what fucking universe can the Thrashers' online presence be considered small?
What's really fucking amazing about this Felska character is that he freely admits to not really investigating team blogs and forums to get an adequate idea of "online presence" (follow the link and read his comments about last year's Dead Last Fans, those of the New Jersey Devils), but he trusts his arbitrary pseudo-scientific reasoning so perfectly that he can't be bothered to adapt his opinions when he encounters new facts.
One more thing: for a guy who fancies himself a thorough and comprehensive hockey mind, his writing, in style and thought, is fucking atrocious.
Perhaps in some way I was inspired by David Letterman's Top 10 list, but I can't stand his show with his lists being the one redeeming quality of it. I know I've used that concept for a few post-season banquet speeches at the conclusion of a sports season and admittedly its a very effective delivery style. Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) and Garth Algar (Dana Carvey) of Wayne's World fame used to also utilize their Top 10 lists and just like the shootout I can't pry myself away until its over. Hopefully 30 thru 11 has you captivated much the same way. While some hockey purists hate the shootout, how many of them shut the TV off during the shootout? Precisely. They don't, they watch with perhaps just slightly less interest than those who either have embraced it or the very least accepted it as a way to conclude a regular season game. Before I go too far off on a tangent about the shootout I will redirect this back to the main point of this series.
Is there really a definitive way to determine whose fans are the best?
In all honesty, I don't really believe there is.
This is really beyond commentary, so I'll just stick to matters of taste: This dude hates David Letterman but actually enjoys the Top 10 list. I repeat: he hates David Letterman but actually enjoys the Top 10 list.
I rest my case.
They Don't Call Him "The Czar" For Nothing, Part 302
Suave Chronicle operative "Speaker of Truth" has alerted us to the following Tweet from Puck Daddy's in-house Russian Dmitry Chesnokov:
Ilya Kovalchuk likes kids. He's got two. Apparently, his wife is pregnant with another one.
Mazel tov. Also: Damn.
A bit later, Chesnokov tweets:
I am now really "looking forward" to what kind of comments the upcoming Kovalchuk interview at Puck Daddy will generate. *scared*
HMMMMM...
Ilya Kovalchuk likes kids. He's got two. Apparently, his wife is pregnant with another one.
Mazel tov. Also: Damn.
A bit later, Chesnokov tweets:
I am now really "looking forward" to what kind of comments the upcoming Kovalchuk interview at Puck Daddy will generate. *scared*
HMMMMM...
August is Boring
Because August is so intolerable for hockey fans such as ourselves, we at the Chronicle spend most of this month indoors with the AC cranked up high enough that we can pretend it's October already. To help pass away the time, here's a list of first-half dates to look forward to once this vile month is behind us.
September 8- EA Sports NHL 2010 is released. No word yet as to whether or not Patty Kane will lose his place on the cover after his run in with the cabbie. New "Be a GM" mode allows you to hold press conferences to tell your season ticket holders that the team is "very close," and give Falconer the evil eye as he reminds you that he thinks you should trade Kovy. Details here.
September 14- Thrashers prospects vs. Preds prospects at the Ice Forum. Tickets here. Hopefully this will be a chance to see Evander Kane and Jeremy Morin take on Colin Wilson, but the rosters haven't been finalized yet. Either way, it's our first chance to see some hockey action.
September 21- Philips Arena doors open for the first preseason game of 09-10. Big Shooter will probably make his annual vow to save himself for the regular season, followed by his annual cave-in when we mention Wetzel-dogs and Beers Around the World.
October 3- Home opener! John "Somebody Slap Me" Anderson tries out his new roster as they slap around the Bolts in game 1 of 82.
October 22- Razor's predicted date for Kovy's 300th career NHL goal. He usually starts the season out a little slow, so I'm saying that his third of the year will come in the second home game, against his buddy Ovie.
November 21- Stanley Cup Champion Penguins visit Atlanta. Look for Kovy to put the biscuit in the basket at least twice to show Crosby and Malkin who's still the boss. (Hint- it's not Tony Danza.)
September 8- EA Sports NHL 2010 is released. No word yet as to whether or not Patty Kane will lose his place on the cover after his run in with the cabbie. New "Be a GM" mode allows you to hold press conferences to tell your season ticket holders that the team is "very close," and give Falconer the evil eye as he reminds you that he thinks you should trade Kovy. Details here.
September 14- Thrashers prospects vs. Preds prospects at the Ice Forum. Tickets here. Hopefully this will be a chance to see Evander Kane and Jeremy Morin take on Colin Wilson, but the rosters haven't been finalized yet. Either way, it's our first chance to see some hockey action.
September 21- Philips Arena doors open for the first preseason game of 09-10. Big Shooter will probably make his annual vow to save himself for the regular season, followed by his annual cave-in when we mention Wetzel-dogs and Beers Around the World.
October 3- Home opener! John "Somebody Slap Me" Anderson tries out his new roster as they slap around the Bolts in game 1 of 82.
October 22- Razor's predicted date for Kovy's 300th career NHL goal. He usually starts the season out a little slow, so I'm saying that his third of the year will come in the second home game, against his buddy Ovie.
November 21- Stanley Cup Champion Penguins visit Atlanta. Look for Kovy to put the biscuit in the basket at least twice to show Crosby and Malkin who's still the boss. (Hint- it's not Tony Danza.)
Hockey Clichés, Part 10,697
To: Dear People Who Write About the Hockey For a Living
CC: People Who Post Comments About the Hockey on the Internet
For the love of Lt. Colonel Jeebus, STOP USING THE WORD "ENIGMATIC" TO DESCRIBE EVERY SINGLE MOTHERFUCKING EUROPEAN PLAYER IN THE NHL.
It's bad enough that the word has become a handy stock phrase (is there really anything "enigmatic" about Pavel Datsyuk or Marian Hossa or Nik Antropov? I mean, REALLY. It's not like they're fucking Professor Moriarty or North Korea, for fuck's sake), but it seems that it's become so overused that a lot of people think it means a whole host of other shit that has nothing to do with being enigmatic or mysterious. I.e. people are so used to reading "enigmatic Russian" or "enigmatic European" that they seem to think it means "soft" or "finesse player" or simply European or Russian.
This madness has to end. Like, now.
CC: People Who Post Comments About the Hockey on the Internet
For the love of Lt. Colonel Jeebus, STOP USING THE WORD "ENIGMATIC" TO DESCRIBE EVERY SINGLE MOTHERFUCKING EUROPEAN PLAYER IN THE NHL.
It's bad enough that the word has become a handy stock phrase (is there really anything "enigmatic" about Pavel Datsyuk or Marian Hossa or Nik Antropov? I mean, REALLY. It's not like they're fucking Professor Moriarty or North Korea, for fuck's sake), but it seems that it's become so overused that a lot of people think it means a whole host of other shit that has nothing to do with being enigmatic or mysterious. I.e. people are so used to reading "enigmatic Russian" or "enigmatic European" that they seem to think it means "soft" or "finesse player" or simply European or Russian.
This madness has to end. Like, now.
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