Scene 6

(photo: BWA Aaron)

Scene 6

(Ten Gallon is leading his posse down the platform at the Thrasherville Train Station.)

TEN GALLON

(pulling out a worn unattached pocket-watch) Should be on time.

DEPUTY COLBY

They’re always late these days. I remember the last time I came down here from Saskatoon, hell sheriff, I remember it took---

(The deputy is interrupted by the shrill whistle and chugging wheels of the arriving train. Station attendant yells out, “12:20 from Leafburg!” The train steams in and eventually comes to a stop. The doors open.)

LITTLE LITTLE

Lotta people from Leafburg get off at Thrasherville?

TEN GALLON

Not many. The three fellas we’re pickin’ up should be easy enough to notice.

(Ten Gallon speaks the truth. The only human souls that step off the 12:20 from Leafburg are our friends from the previous scenes: Maxim, Pavel, and Nik. Needless to say, Nik is accompanied by Misha the Coyote. All of them look around warily. Nik is still smoking a cigarette; Pavel looks guarded and severe; Max looks slightly confused.)

DEPUTY COLBY

That them? (pointing to our Euro trio and the coyote)

TEN GALLON

Oughta be. Go introduce yourself, Deputy.

DEPUTY COLBY

Ah, sir, do I gotta?

TEN GALLON

Reckon we’ll all say hello.

(Our heroes start moseying on over. Maxim has already made eye contact with Ten Gallon when suddenly the offscreen voice of the Mayor of Thrasherville, a certain Mr. Waddell, calls out, “Ah, fellas, uh, happy to see you’ve made it.” Our six characters all turn towards the other side of the platform, where Mayor Waddell is stepping down from a stagecoach and walking towards the three Europeans eagerly. He shakes all their hands before Ten Gallon Dick approaches him.)

TEN GALLON

Mr. Mayor.

MAYOR WADDELL

Sheriff Peverley.

DEPUTY COLBY

I thought we was the ones s’sposed to pick up these empyreans.

MAYOR WADDELL

Empyreans?

DEPUTY COLBY

Folks from over there, you know.

MAYOR WADDELL

Well, uh, the-uh, the-uh reason I came today is I needed you boys to be bodyguards to these newcomers to our fine town. Alas, um, we all know, uh, all know the streets of Thrasherville aren’t as safe as they could be, and well, these newcomers will be important additions.

LITTLE LITTLE

I don’t follow.

MAYOR WADDELL

What I’m saying is you boys might need to look after these men. Accompany them to saloons and such. Don’t want any harm to come to ‘em, and uh---

TEN GALLON

What makes them so important?

(At this point Nik steps forward and decides to interject.)

NIK

(removes fur hat and bows slightly) Hello, Sheriff. My name is Nikolai Antropov; I come from a hinterland that borders Russia; I have come to Thrasherville from Leafburg because I want to help your town flourish. Your Mayor tells me that the ranching on the outskirts of town isn’t all it could be. I know something about ranching. And in these hard times, I think Thrasherville could use my help.

(Pavel extends his hand to Ten Gallon)

PAVEL

I, too, was asked here by Mayor Waddell. I ran a very successful prospecting business in the Southeast a few years ago, then a moderately successful one in Leafburg. Your Mayor has provided---how shall I say this without sounding immodest?---incentives to come to Thrasherville and mine for gold and silver.

DEPUTY COLBY

(to Maxim) And I suppose you’re here to sell fireworks?

MAXIM

Ha, no, not at all, Policeman, sir. I had heard about an opening in your police force, a job position. I am endeavoring to fill it.

DEPUTY COLBY

(spits out a jet of black tobacco and glowers at Ten Gallon Dick) What’s this goofy empyrean talkin’ ‘bout? I ain’t never heard of no job opening in the police!

TEN GALLON

Shut your yap Deputy. We need a detective in this force. Someone to help solve some of the more mysterious killings ‘round here. Law and order in this town just ain’t been the same since Chief of Police Kovy had to go away.

MAXIM

Ah, yes. I look forward to working with him. When he gets back, of course.

(Deputy Colby is visibly frustrated to have a new colleague.)

TEN GALLON

Where are our manners, after all? This is my deputy, Colby Armstrong. Little Bryan Little over there, and I’m Dick Peverley, but everyone calls me Ten Gallon.

NIK

Why is that?

(awkward silence)

MAYOR WADDELL

(obviously trying to break the tension) Because he wears a ten gallon hat most of the time, obviously. Ha ha! Come boys, to the stagecoach. I intend for our guests to spend their first night here in Thrasherville at the opulent Philips. Luxury for prospectors and lawmen and, ah, ranchers. Yes indeed.

TEN GALLON

(to Deputy Colby and Little Little) You boys best take my horse. I’m riding with the mayor and the empyreans. I got a few things to discuss with our new detective.

(Deputy Colby shakes his head resentfully but says nothing. He and Little Little walk off the platform, mount their horses, and the deputy takes the reins of Ten Gallon’s horse. They trot off in the direction of the police station. Mayor Waddell, Nik, Pavel, Max, Misha the Coyote, and Ten Gallon all pile into the stagecoach)

TEN GALLON

Whose coyote?

NIK

Mine, I suppose. Though he’s more of a friend than a pet. Fallen on hard times. Hoping we can both make some money out of this ranching thing.

TEN GALLON

Int’restin’.I have a big yellow labrador myself, though I tell you what I got all kinds of respect for them desert canines.

NIK

What is yellow dog’s name?

TEN GALLON

Bear. ‘Cause he looks like a yellow bear, if it were a dog. (looks a bit distant all of a sudden) I love that dog.

MAXIM

You know, Lord Byron wrote an elegy for his Newfoundland.

TEN GALLON

(removes hat) Boatswain was the dog’s name, wasn’t it?

MAXIM

Clearly you are an educated man, Sheriff Peverley.

TEN GALLON

(quoting from memory)

“...Beauty without vanity

Strength without insolence

Courage without ferocity

And all the virtues of man without his vices.”

MAYOR WADDELL

Well, here we are at Hotel Philips! Enjoy your stay fellas. I have, ah, other business to attend to just now. I want to discuss business tonight at Marty’s Saloon, but for now, I have, uh, I have to be off.

(Ten Gallon, Max, Pavel, Nik, and Misha the Coyote all step down from the stagecoach. They collect their not-very-bulky luggage and drag it into the Hotel Philips. They encounter an excitable man at the desk. This would be the proprietor of the Hotel Philips: one Jimmy Slates.)

JIMMY SLATES

Ah, our important newcomers. I’ll see you to your rooms at once.

MAXIM

(to Ten Gallon, as the bellhops try to get everyone’s luggage sorted out and Nik pours some more tobacco into Misha’s pipe) So you had something to talk about with me?

TEN GALLON

I did, but now that I think about it, it can wait ‘til tonight at the saloon. We’ll discuss it then. I figure you fellas are tired from your trip. Just come over to Marty’s across the street, tonight around, say, 9 o’clock. You can get yourself some good dinner either there or here before then.

MAXIM

You are a very obliging and generous host, Sheriff Peverley.

TEN GALLON

Aw, hell. I ain’t obligin’ no one. I just got a job to do.

****

Scene 7 will take place in Marty's Party Saloon, so brace yourselves.