Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Scenes 2 and 3

photo by Aaron of BWA. Shower him with praise and thanks.

Scene 2

(cut to interior of saloon. We’re suddenly in the middle of a desert town. The saloon is empty: two ragtag policemen sit at the bar, not drinking (they are on duty, after all) but jabbering loudly. Or to be more accurate: one of them is jabbering loudly. This is Colby Armstrong, the main deputy to the town’s acting sheriff, “Ten Gallon” Dick Peverley. The other cop is a bit younger, with a huge toothy grin. This is “Little” Bryan Little. Deputy Colby enjoys ribbing Little Little, and it’s clear from his behavior that Little Little is the only person in town he can condescend to.)


It’s all these foreigners, I tell ya. These empyreans come in from Russia or Eastern Europe and act like they own the place. If it were up to me I’d---


(interrupting) But aren’t we foreigners?


(annoyed) What?


I mean, we’re Canadians who came down here to make our fortunes and ended up in Ten Gallon’s posse. Ten Gallon himself, if I ain’t mistaken, is some kind of Canadian. Basically, we’re all Canadians who talk like toughs do out here in the West. What’s wrong if a Russian wants to---


No, dammit. Jesus son, what I MEAN is that---

(door of saloon opens, in comes a man wearing a sheriff’s badge and a ten gallon hat. Shotgun thrown back across his shoulder. The bright sun behind him makes him appear as a silhouette at first, but then he slowly walks towards the bar, spurs jangling.)


Oh, hi there, Sheriff Peverley. Just going over some things here at the, here at the, uh...


I ain’t the Sheriff, kid. There’s only one sheriff in this town. I plan on putting my deputy badge back on the damn minute he gets back. (sits down at the bar next to Deputy Colby and Little Little, removes his impressive hat, scratches his head and stares off towards nowhere in particular. He continues to speak.) And if I recall correctly, Deputy, the Sheriff is a Russian. Sometimes I’m not sure why I brought your goofy ass into the force. Try to keep some law and order in this one-horse town, and all you do is worry about Russians and Czechs. I mean, what in tarnation are you thinking?


Shoot, I’m sorry, sir. Just talkin’, I guess! (forces a laugh)


Matter a’ fact, I got some empyreans comin’ in here today. A Russian, a Czech, and a...what was he, again? I’m not sure, a half-Russian from the Steppes, I think. Anyway, I heard they would make damn fine prospectors out here. The Mayor’s been sendin’ ‘em telegraphs for ages now, just a-beckonin’ away; looks like he finally convinced them to come on over to Thrasherville.


Ah, you trust anything Mayor Waddell says?


Isn’t he the reason you’re here, Colby?




(scowls at his deputy) Point bein’ the Mayor has asked me to head to the train station and pick ‘em up and show ‘em to their new lodgings at the Philips Hotel. Now I came in here lookin’ for the two of you, thinkin’ it’d help something mighty if you could come along and show these three empyreans around.

(Little and the Deputy nod in assent.)


Who the hell even comes into a saloon in the morning?


That fella. (points to door)

(In walks a young, thin dude, and okay fine he’s black. He looks like a cowboy: red scarf, leather chaps, tilted black hat. His clothes make him more intimidating than he should be. He doesn’t make eye contact with the three policemen. Instead, he sits at the far end of the bar and shouts for a sarsaparilla. The bar tender appears from a back room and delivers it, then disappears again.)


Who the hell is this guy? I haven’t seen him around Thrasherville.


That’s Evander Kane, deputy. Fastest gun in Western Canada is what I hear. Now he’s down in Thrasherville tryin’ his luck among the big guns.


You know him?

(Ten Gallon is silent.)


Whaddaya say he head to the train station and wait for these empyreans?

(The policemen get up and leave. Kane the young gunslinger is still at the bar.)

Scene 3

(Cut back to train interior. Maxim and Pavel, the newest additions to Thrasherville, have been joined by the huge guy, who seems to be called “Nik,” who entered the train car at the end of Scene 1.)


So how the hell did you just get on the train in the middle of the desert?


I am a big guy.

(Maxim blinks, uncomprehending.)


So you just stopped the train on your own and got on?! I mean, I’m a fairly big guy too, but---


Ha! NO. I jumped aboard and the conductor thought I was a brigand, so he slammed on the brakes to throw me off. But I held on. I held on. I even have a ticket!


So how do you two know each other?


Worked together back in Leafburg. (To Nik) I had no idea you were headed to Thrasherville as well!


I meant to get on this morning back at Leafburg, but I missed the train. Had to chase this thing through the desert...though I did have some help.

(Nik reaches into his rucksack and produces a small live coyote. Pavel and Max gasp.)


What in heaven’s name?!


He is my desert friend. He’s having financial troubles at the moment, so I’m giving him a place to stay until he gets sorted out.

(Silence. Pavel and Max stare. The coyote stares back.)


Stay tuned for more. I officially give permission for a Game Day post at some point today.


Daculafan said...


GoPuckYourself said...

I'm just waiting for the audiobook.

krisabelle said...

I'm excited that sarsparilla was utilized!

Big Shooter said...

Permission for Game Day post denied. No one shall post anything until the entire Ten Gallon Dick story is told. The world needs to know.

Rawhide said...

Just curious...will there be a soundtrack available for this epic production?

I certainly would like to add that to my CD collection. I'd put it right next to the ones for "Oklahoma" and "The Breakfast Club".

DowntownATL said...

Forget signing Kovy. The Spirit Group should spend $125 Million making this thing a reality.

j_barty_party said...

Shooter is right! Who the hell needs hockey to entertain and excite when we have Morty's story of Ten Gallon Dick to titilate and tantalize our imaginations!!

Anonymous said...

+10 for use of tarnation and rucksack