Monday, February 4, 2008

Mixing hockey and politics #2

I've been thinking: what if each Presidential candidate was an NHL team? Who would match up with whom?

Barack Obama would be a new-ish Sunb
elt team like the Anaheim Ducks. He’s new, fresh, vital, and is shaking up the establishment by flourishing in a non-traditional market. He gets flak for being a Disney-ish “fairy tale” phenomenon and is libeled as not being particularly serious, then confounds his critics with his rich skills. He might also be the Pittsburgh Penguins, due to his youth, talent, and ability to intoxicate a fawning media.

Hillary Clinton would be the New York Rangers, not because of the fact that for some reason she represents New York in the Senate. Rather, I link Hillary to the Rangers because of their shared characteristics: neither are particularly notable or striking, both but both nonetheless command immense popularity due to their name recognition and their "veteran" status. This gives them a nauseating sense of entitlement. The theme here is unmerited prestige. And irritation.

John McCain would be the Minnesota Wild or the Colorado Avalanche. Rugged, Western, doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks, always surprises people. Also a true comeback and resurrection story, much like how the Minnesota North Stars disappeared and were replaced by the splendid Wild. Or like Ray Bourque and the Av’s winning the Stanley Cup.

Mitt Romney would be the Ottawa Senators. Slick, over-hyped, overrated, and lacking in anything resembling a soul.

Mike Huckabee would be the Tampa Bay Lightning. Both of them are surpassingly awful in just about every way, though not without star power.

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