Thursday, February 4, 2010

Oduya, Bergfors, and Cormier Are Your New Ilya Kovalchuk


To New Jersey: Ilya Kovalchuk, Anssi Salmela

To Atlanta: Johnny Oduya, Niclas Bergfors, Patrice Cormier, 1st round pick

IMPORTANT ANALYSIS: Oduya's quite good, Bergfors might be good, and Cormier is insane. The 1st rounder will be quite late (perhaps the final two?) and will bring us another Jimmy Slater. This is the most retarded sports team of all time.

EDIT: Perhaps I should elaborate. Cormier might someday be as good as that dude without an ACL. Also, DW has spoken to a camera: He looks like he's about to cry throughout. I sympathize with the guy, but the honorable thing to do now is step aside and become President of Hockey Operations or whatever. All the Waddell Regency has to show for the last 10 years is Johnny Oduya, and perhaps Enstrom. Kane and Bogosian don't count because anyone would have chosen them with those draft picks. The Thrashers' woes aren't primarily his fault, but it's time to resign.

Kevin Allen is right in saying the Thrashers got a good return for a rental player. It is a good return for a rental player, if the rental player was your average rental player and not Ilya Kovalchuk. I mean, really: who do you think won this trade? From now until the playoffs the central story in the NHL is going to be "Whoa hey isn't it awesome that Kovalchuk and Brodeur and Parise all play on the same team?"

All that said, I can't imagine Ilya Kovalchuk in a New Jersey Devils jersey.

And yes, this is probably the best return we could get. The point, as ever, is the bigger picture. What was that line from William Empson? "The waste remains, the waste remains and kills" or something like that?

Tonight, we are all victims of the Upper Dildo.

27 comments:

GoPuckYourself said...

So who the fuck's gonna score goals now? Jimmy Slates can't do this by himself, people.

Razor Catch Prey said...

Oh my god.

Oduya is a decent player and a sideshow freak. The dude is a black Swede. 12 cents per peak ladies and gentlemen.

Bergfors might turn into something decent someday.

Cormier is the piece of crap who no one wants to see on the ice ever again because he tries to murder people with dirty elbows to the face.

And Don Waddell doesn't know what the hell to do with draft picks.

THIS is the best deal we could get?!?!? For ILYA FREAKING KOVALCHUK!?!?!

If he doesn't come back via free agency in the summer I am seriously going to punch Don Waddell in the gut.

Anonymous said...

What did you expect for a rental player? Sure it was not a home run but you got a really nice piece in Nic Bergfors for a player who is probably going back to Russia after this season.

Anonymous said...

Whenever you make a deadline deal for an expiring contract it's always going to be pennies on the dollar in value. Please don't buy into the hysteria of the part time Thrasher fans, this is an okay deal overall and better than nothing.

Winston Churchill said...

Damn the buggers! Never in the course of hockey history has so much been fucked up for so many by so few. Unleash the poison gas!

GoPuckYourself said...

Saw this on Twitter, and it's a valid question--would you rather be the GM who made this deal or the GM who didn't make the Bouwmeester deal?

Jay said...

If Tedenby was included I would have loved this deal. Something also missed is that the Thrashers and Devils are swapping their 2nd round picks in this deal. Right now I feel a bit empty, but I'm witholding judgement until I see some of these guys play. I'm not concerned about Waddell drafting. He's gotten better(Little, Bogosian, and Kane recently). Plus I trust Dudley's judgement.

Rawhide said...

Do you remember the shower scene in Midnight Run?

Uh-huh....

That's what just happened to us.

GoPuckYourself said...

Alright, so who's starting the "Fire Don Waddell" group on Facebook? Or should I do it?

Big Shooter said...

Thank God people who are paid by ASG say Cormier is expected to make the team next year. Hooray!

Fuck all of this. I really don't think I can take much more. Seen this dog and pony show for a decade. Gotta give me more than Cormier should make next years team.

Fuck it.

Jay said...

I think this team is and will follow the Nashville model. Very good(not great) players that hustle, play for each other, and are a cohesive unit. Bergfors, Cormier, Klingberg, Kane, Little, Enstrom, and Bogosian are all under 24 years old. These are very good players. No one that has the talent of Kovalchuk, but not a lot of teams do. After the initial shock and sadness, I'm feeling better about this. Next year should be very exciting as Cormier, Postma, O'Dell, Klingberg all come to camp. Keep believing, that's all we can do.

Mortimer Peacock said...

I want to believe you, Jay, I really do.

Big Shooter said...

Waddell actually said, "we built around Kovy and never won a playoff game".

Don't pin this on Kovy you asshole. He should have signed for $100 million, but I'm sick and tired of the fucking spin. Just move on and give Dudley a chance.

No one is buying it anymore.

Mortimer Peacock said...

Then surely that proves the point and he should resign. If that was your MO and you failed epically, you should step out of the way.

Mr. Speaker said...

Shooter, are you at the libray again mashin' buttons on the Pee Ceee?? You ought to be drinkin' some hard, brown liquor if you're that torn up!

Just look at the bright side, next season, you can spend less time on hockey and more time working on your Boston Whaler reverse hook at the bowling alley! We shall dominate bitches...I feel it in my bones. To hell with Waddell cuz we still have each other and that's enough...

Big Shooter said...

Just got an email from Waddell that is an exact replica of the one I got when Hossa was traded. "Hossa couldn't be signed. But, hey look... We got all these assets and such. We really don't need Hossa/Kovalchuk.". Come on. The email actually said if we signed Kovy we couldn't sign Kane or Bogosian.

I'm sorry, but I cross that bridge when I get there. Give me Kovy and Kane or Bogosian over Kane and Bogosian (no Kovy) any day.

Why does God hate us?

Jay said...

I don't know about you guys but I'm going to be at Philips on Saturday cheering the Thrashers and Oduya and Bergfors. This team is only a point out of the playoffs! They need us fans more than ever now! Let's rally around Kane, Slater, Antropov, Peverley and Enstrom. Those guys give a damn and hustle their asses off for us. Let's shock the world and make the playoffs! Let's beat the Devils in the first round!

aaron said...

The Dispenser.

Never Forget.

Big Shooter said...

I will be there as well Jay, but I still think this is a step back and anyone else that thinks otherwise is a dipshit. You don't trade a top 5 player in the NHL for potential and come out a winner. I'll be rooting for all the new guys, and hope they contribute. I hope all these folks that thought we'd be better without Kovy because of his lack of defense now see what really is the case.

Aaron- we will never forget.

新衣 said...

生、死、窮、達,不易其操。 ..................................................

Mortimer Peacock said...

WHY THE FUCK DO WE KEEP GETTING THIS ASIAN PORN SPAM?

Mr. Speaker said...

It was the Upper Dildo (Asian porn spam) before you even knew it was the Upper Dildo. God does hate you.

But life's a bitch and then you die.

All we can hope for is an early exit for the Devils in the playoffs. Y'all are distraught now? How will you feel if Kovy actually lifted the Cup? I laughed at Hossa heartily when the Pens held off that last minute flurry of shots to hoist Lord Stanley.

Life's simple pleasures eh?

Mortimer Peacock said...

Life's a bitch and then ya die/ That's we why get high/ Cuz ya nevah know when ya gonna goooo...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ewdZzLP6Bk&feature=related

Razor Catch Prey said...

I thought this deal was awful BEFORE I found out that Peanut and our second round pick were going with it.

Jay- I will be cheering on the new guys, too and hope that the Pevs Dispenser leads us to the playoffs, but I don't see it happening.

Morty- Kovy should have signed for 101 million. But I'm not going to turn on him for being holding out and getting traded away. I'll pull for the Devils against anybody except Atlanta and maybe the Buffalo Ryan Millers this year, then hope to God Kovy comes calling on July 3 when he has only received offers for 8 million dollars.

Mortimer Peacock said...

RCP-

Well, yeah. Where do I give the impression I've turned on Kovy?

Mutton Sourdough said...

I actually wouldn't mind Kovy lifting the Cup. Except that it would drive his price up and he might actually get his max offer if that happened.

Oh, and the spammers also got Yankee Whistler's Kovy post. I think they're just going by whatever says Kovalchuk for now hahaha ironic? May-BE, Maybe-not! May-BE, Maybe-not!

Stefano said...

The crew size proves. I had made a different compiled the team. they will never win.