Question...

- How many articles about the Phoenix Coyotes fiasco, the greatness of Scotty Bowman, the history of the RFA offer sheet, or how various Penguins will spend their days with the Stanley Cup (is there any other sport in human history where the actual trophy is this fetishized? Curious) can one person read before getting really, really bored?

- Even the ongoing douche-hattery of Dany Heatley is drearily predictable. I mean, not going to Spezza's wedding? The man's either clueless about how he's coming across or he simply doesn't care. Oh well; wherever he ends up going, he's somebody else's problem.

Hey, lookee here. Via James Mirtle, here's a Heatley-themed video that--if you don't understand a word of German and can imagine Hitler as a funny Ottawa Senators fan that praises folks like Hossa, Havlat, and Chara instead of wanting to enslave them as the Slavic untermenschen they are--is really fucking funny.


All this really does make me want to watch Downfall again.

- Oh yeah, good news: Pollstar Magazine thinks Philips Arena is the best arena in the United States. I've always thought Philips was a world-class facility, so hooray!

- And finally, WHY did the French treat their fallen-while-jogging President with their own ramshackle and nightmarish Frog proto-Obamacare? Why didn't they immediately fly him to the United States so he could receive Jesus' own healthcare, the Best Ever in the Planet Earth's Short History? And how in HEAVEN'S NAME did they cure him of his falling-while-jogging sickness, being gubmit-dependent welfare queens who can't do the Doctoring? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? Didn't Glenn Beck tell us that foreign leaders come to the US for their healthcare?


I'm so confused.