City of Morons: A Children's Treasury of Dumb Responses to Mark Bradley's Weird Piece in the AJC

Many of you, I realize, took part in the in-depth "Would you haz a sad if the Thrashers were purchased by fur-traders in Canada?" survey recently conducted by Mark Bradley. Good for anyone who responded; it expresses a passion for and commitment to the team, to hockey, to Hockey in Atlanta, etc.

But I have to admit I found the whole enterprise a little strange. Mark Bradley, a fine enough sports-writing feller when covering other sports, rarely writes anything about the Thrashers. And when he finally decides to cover the Hockey, he just asks a bunch of other people to write his piece for him, which on his Twitter account he pretty much admits is exactly what he did. I'm not saying Bradley shouldn't write about the Thrashers; I'm just saying it's fine if he doesn't. Because he, like, really doesn't have anything to say about them.

But what I really wanted to talk about are some of the comments on his piece. Some of them are really beyond belief, and it's Friday, so let's have some dangerous fun:

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Dearest Bradley:

I hope Don Waddell slugs both you and Jeff Schultz in your sissy mouths for all the THRASHERS bashing you goofballs do in this town.

The THRASHERS are an integral part of the Atlanta Sports Scene and have been for a decade now. Unfortunately, no one with any authority at the America-hating, Christian-bashing, Obama-kissing, hockey-averse AJC seems to have picked up on that yet.

It is bad enough that this sub-standard “newspaper” gives the THRASHERS such paltry positive coverage, but it actually seems like this rag has an Obama-caliber, NON-objective agenda to run the NHL out of this town.

Aside from the lack of objectivity, the anti-THRASHERS coverage is why I stopped subscribing to this nonsense.

GO, THRASHERS!!

Kill Yourself, Bradley.

Hm. As a nationalism-and-theocracy-hating libtard who routinely attacks the "America-hating, Christian-bashing, Obama-kissing, hockey-averse" AJC, allow me just one question here: what do political opinions have to do with enjoying or not enjoying, much less covering or not covering, a particular sport? Just wondering.

One more thing, because I know you're all dying to know, and this sub-retarded wingnut brought politics into the discussion: The likes of my colleague Razor Catch Prey will be pleased to know that I think Nancy Pelosi is a hypocritical shitbag and that Barack Obama is totally full-of-shit. I think these things for different reasons than right-wingers, of course, but I'm hugely disappointed in President Change and I've always hated Pelosi.  As Lewis Black once said: "You see, in our two-party system, the Democrats are the party of no ideas and the Republicans are the party of bad ideas. It usually goes something like this. A Republican will stand up in Congress and say, 'I've got a really bad idea.' And a Democrat will immediately jump to his feet and declare, 'And I can make it shittier!'"

Indeed. Oh, and the CIA should be outlawed and disbanded. They almost always get things wrong, and they've never achieved anything aside from installing dictators and murdering people.

Moving on...

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hmmmmmm…maybe the Flames could move back to GA. i thought the NHL was still on strike.

Murf murf gurgle it's cool to not know things murf.

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I for one, could care less. Being a thoroughbred hillbilly/redneck, the only place I wanna see ice is my cooler. To err on the side of honesty, I must admit that I do watch Ice Road Truckers, but I think that’s now a universal requirement for rednecks. Have to check my guide….

That one isn't dumb so much as anthropologically awesome.

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We have a hockey team? Who’da thunk it!

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Hockey Smockey…when does little league baseball start?

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I was in DC during the Caps Inaugural Season… a complete disaster. They had a black skater who couldn’t skate (affirmative action in action or is it “inaction”). I have been here since the beginning of the Thrashers (yes and Ted got them here and made sure they would be downtown near MARTA). Now that Ted is gone and they have struggled… keep the faith… Wadell has made mistakes but there is light at the end of the tunnel! To hell with the “non-owners”.. we have a program now in place… three years too late. As for the “Knight Fans” during the National Anthem… get real… less than 2% ever went to their games (they need to beat their boots due to my original Knight’s jersey). Get gone Knights along with the Flames… hopefully we’ll have our Thrashers here and get back into the playoffs! On another more important money making note… who is going to win the Preakness?

I have literally no idea what any of this means. Given the references to teh Blaques and affirmative action and Ted Turner and MARTA and downtown, I can only assume it's a grueling discipline for some of these people not to scream the word "nigger."

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why is bradley relevant? Married to the prez? You’re paper is less than toilet paper.

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Burn in Hell, AJC!

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I grew up with the old Atlanta Flames and was a diehard fan. It made me sick when they moved to Calgary. As for the Thrashers, I just never got into this team. I moved to another NHL city, so at least I get to see playoff hockey every year. I would love to see the Thrashers fold. They are a joke!

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There is no way I could possibly care LESS if Atlanta (or any other city, for that matter) has a hockey team or not.

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I don’t care. I went a couple of times with free tickets. I would never pay for a game. I’ll never pay for Braves, Falcons or Hawks tickets either. Once you get free club level seats you never go back.

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What the hell is the matter with you, Bradley?

Of course I’d miss hockey! But I sure wouldn’t miss you and your dumb articles!!

FIRE WADDELL AND BRADLEY!!!! RELOCATE THE AJC!!!!!

Ah, the ritual confusion in these people's minds as to exactly who they're mad at.

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Atlanta has a hockey team?!

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I would surely miss the Thrashers if they left town. I even created a character named Atlanta Thrasher that I use for online play in the video game Rock Band 2. As you could probably guess, Atlanta Thrasher plays lead guitar.

Jesus Christ...

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John Kincade is the only one in Atlanta that cares about hockey, hell when do the NHL playoffs start? no one watch hockey so if they leave so what!

Surely this is courtesy of John Kincade himself.

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IF WE ONLY HAD A SCORER

ds;lkjfasl;kdjffaceplamdkjlfsa83892fhdskldfuckingidiotsdslkfjaslkd

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DO THE THRASHERS STILL PLAY IN ATLANTA?

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I would be fine with discarding the Thrashers in favor of focusing on the Hawks. Atlanta will never be a hockey town and it seems rather pointless to force the issue. It has been proven time and again that this city can be a basketball town. I say let the Canadians and snow birds have the Thrashers. I bet if all of the snow birds left, our traffic situation would clear up immediately.

So, Go Thrashers…and take the traffic with you.

Teh traffic! Teh Yanquees!

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Atlanta is not a hockey city therefore a city that embraces hockey more should get the team especially in Canada where hockey is king. I would suggest if the thrashers were to move to another American city they should move to Seattle.

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Do they need any help packing? They take up way too much of the media time/space so good riddance!

From the Parallel Universe Department.

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Hockey can’t survive in the South!!

Thrashers to Houston LOLOLOL!!!

Suckers.

This commenter calls itself "Mouth Breather." I'm not kidding.

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Okay that's quite enough. There's plenty more, but I feel like I need to go purge and wash my brain.