Tuesday, May 26, 2009
BREAKING: Oilers to Give Up Style, Identity for "Winning"
The Edmonton Journal, TSN, the NHL Network, and Puck Daddy are all reporting (at the same time) that the Edmonton Oilers have hired Pat Quinn and Tom Renney to be their new GM and coach, respectively.
Both Quinn and Renney are known to favor a conservative, defensive style of the Hockey, which means that the Oilers will have to give up the wild up-tempo style they perfected in the 1980s (a style often called "Gretzkyism") and carried on into the 1990s and 2000s ("Gretzkyism without Gretzky"). Sad to see a legendary team with a highly distinct identity change their highly distinct identity, but every sports organization and decent band knows that every now and then you just have to dream it all up again and start over.
BREAKING: I am an actual moron and this post is so wrong it's embarrassing. In actual reality, Pat Quinn will be not assuming the GM post and Tom Renney will not be assuming the position of head coach. In actual reality, Quinn will be head coach and Renney something newfangled and postmodern called "associate coach."