Yes, it's that time again. Put on your dancing shoes, here we go:
The Sort-Of Unsung Hero Award (awarded to a player who's plenty sung but isn't Ilya Kovalchuk)
The Slightly Less Sung Hero Award
The TRULY Unsung Hero Award
The Pleasant Surprise Award
The God Award
Ilya Kovalchuk (2nd year in a row!)
Resurrection of the Year
Best Double Act
Tobias Enstrom and Zach Bogosian (this pairing needs a name)
Steady as She Goes Award
The "Why Wasn't He With Us All Year?" Award
Rookie of the Year
(tie) John Anderson/That Bogosian Fella
Rawhide of the AJC
My Choice for the Hart Trophy
Patrick Marleau (San Jose Sharks)
Why Him: The Sharks are useless without him, even with Joe Thornton, and he's versatile as an multi-limbed androgynous hooker: a natural center, he scored 38 goals in 76 games this season, and he's one of the best defensive/PK forwards in the league.
Runners-up: Alex Ovechkin (Washington Capitals, duh), Tim Thomas (Boston Bruins)
My Choice for the Calder Trophy
Bobby Ryan (Anaheim Ducks)
Why Him: YOU try to score 31 goals in your first full year. Also, I realize Mason will get it and I'm being perversely contrarian here.
Runners-up: Steve Mason (Columbus BJs), Pekka Rinne (Nashville Predators)
My Choice for the Vezina Trophy
Tim Thomas (Boston Bruins)
Why Him: This really ought to be obvious.
Runners-up: Roberto Luongo (Vancouver Canucks), Evgeni Nabokov (San Jose Sharks)
My Choice for the Norris Trophy
Zdeno Chara (Boston Bruins)
Why Him: He might not score 30 goals a year, but he CAN do everything exceedingly well.
Runners-up: Mike Green (yeah yeah), Duncan Keith (Chicago Blackhawks)
The "Jesus H. Christ! He's Too Goddamn Good" Award
Zach Parise/Alexander Ovechkin (2nd year in a row)
Most Underrated Player in the NHL
Bryan Little/Duncan Keith (STILL!)
This one's for you, Litts.