Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Chronicle was Right About the Dallas Stars

Even Mike "I shouldn't have to use Travelocity" Modano is disgusted by the douche-baggery of his teammates.

This is a man who has seen a lot of embarrassing transgressions over the course of his career. He was a member of the 98 US Olympic team and bore witness to the trashing of hotel rooms in Nagano and the unloading of fire extinguishers on Mike Richter after he was the only one on the team who appeared to put up a decent effort on the ice. He was also a member of the DW-managed US Olympic team in 2006. After another disappointing effort on the international ice, Modano unleashed his frustration through comments to the media about his low opinion of the USA Hockey organization. He basically blamed his own lousy performance on the fact that he had to make travel arrangements for his family to join him in Italy. Yeah. We all have experienced the draining ordeal of booking a flight on Expedia. How can anyone be expected to play a hockey game after that?

Modano has clarified to the press that when he said that “Tonight, it was idiotic and stupid. It was one of the most embarrassing things I've seen. If that's what we're going for, then they need to find me an off-ice job,” he was referring specifically to Sean Avery arguing with Bruins' fans and other Stars teammates arguing with the referees. It was not, then, a referendum on Avery and Ott's "play" on the ice.

Avery demonstrated his contempt for the game of hockey last year in the playoffs when he truly became a parody of himself. For anyone who doesn't remember the origin of the "Avery Rule," the little punk decided to distract Martin "Family Values" Brodeur by skating into his crease and waving his stick inches in front of the goalie's face. Avery was facing Brodeur, paying no attention at all to the play. Had his stick made contact with any Devils player or the puck, it would have been a high stick. He wasn't playing hockey, he was conducting a circus. Chris Drury could even be seen skating over to Avery telling him to "get in the play."

Despite that little performance which prompted the NHL to institute a new rule, and a history which includes the LA Kings at one point benching Avery indefinitely for insubordination, Brett Hull thought it would be a good idea to bring him to Dallas to supplement the rest of the team's moral bottom feeders. It appears that the chickens are coming home to roost after that decision, and now the face of the organization is publicly expressing his disgust.

I'm sure Modano would have already left town, but he just couldn't bring himself to book his own travel arrangements.

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In other news, Brodeur will have to wait a little longer to surpass his hero Patrick Roy. An elbow injury will have the Devils' netminder out for several months.

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The Canadian sports media is still at it, creating rumors of Kovy being shopped around. This time they fed rumors to a Russian newspaper so the Toronto Sun could pretend to be getting it from an outside source. Ridiculous. The Leafs could offer their entire roster and it wouldn't be enough for the Czar.

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Congratulations to Morty's candidate for president. Newt for president in 2012!

For the Chronicle, this is Razor Catch Prey.

4 comments:

Maali said...

Oh oh!!! You know what! Marty Turco should quit or get traded or whatever, AND THEN BRETT HULL SHOULD SIGN EDDIE THE EAGLE!!!! Also is Bob Probert still playing? Maybe he can coach!!!! I mean if they're going to take moral ineptitude to new heights, LET'S! GO! ALL! THE! WAY!

Razor Catch Prey said...

Make a three way trade with the Devils and Flames. Turco goes to NJ to fill in for Brodeur (and take over when he retires), Parise goes to Calgary so we can feel better about him, and Bertuzzi goes to Dallas where he belongs.

Andrew said...

razor, well spoken... should brasheer be thrown in there from the caps just for good measure?

Mortimer Peacock said...

RCP-

Your trade idea is unspeakably brilliant.