Philips Arena's Food Occasionally Malarial and Disgusting, Says ESPN Report

Which is a surprise really, because I assumed sports arena food was perfectly clean and healthy, at all times.

From this morning's AJC:

"Outside the Lines" analyzed 2009 food service inspections for every major-league stadium.

...

And at 30 of the 107 stadiums inspected in North America, more than half the concession stands or restaurants had been cited for at least one "critical" or "major" health violation.

Philips Arena, the Georgia Dome and Turner Field were not among the worst violators. But each had its problems.

At Philips, 35 percent of vendors were cited for critical violations. The report noted that at two locations, inspectors found food not being protected from contamination.

EEGAD! Actually, now that I think of it, maybe I shouldn't worry, as I tend to use Philips mainly for the Booze and not the Food. Beer...that can't get contaminated, right? Surely not.

Anyway, at least Philips isn't in swampy retirement camp Florida:

The show found stadiums in Florida particularly lacking. At every Florida venue, at least 67 percent of vendors were cited for critical violations.

It's that mutant alligator meat they serve. The Everglades are just toxic these days...

BLOG FIGHT!

It's been a long time since there was a good and proper blood-feud in the Thrashers blogosphere. And this time, sadly, your Chronicle isn't involved.

The background: Our buddy Rawhide (who blogs for the AJC under the code name "Bill Tiller") wrote a post about how he expects the Thrashers' goal production to dip a bit next season, what with that Kovalchuk and that Afinogenov just cold Gone Forever. Throughout the post Rawhide is honest enough to say that it's not like he KNOWS this will happen, and a player's performance one year is often NOT a reliable prognosticator of the next year, etc. His point, I think, was that we can't pretend that the loss of Kovalchuk and the presence of several question marks on the roster (not question marks in terms of overall quality, but in terms of goal production) aren't going to effect the Thrashers' ability to score goals. Obviously no one KNOWS what's going to happen, but it's reasonable to be concerned, and so on.

Bird Watchers Anonymous' Timmy F. responded with a sharp rebuke to both Rawhide and his own blogging overlord, the famous Falconer, for even speculating about these things. He argues against their positions a bit, but the gist of the post is "STOP IT. Stop it, dudes; like, don't ever talk about any of this ever again, ever, because there's no reason to."

I paraphrase, of course. He does write, vis-a-vis the Falconer's projection, "I'll give him credit for also admitting that his projection would be wrong, but if we know something will be wrong, why spend the time writing a blog?"

Which is, of course, a question that negates the entire goofy ideal of blogging. The mind reels.

***UPDATE***

Our friend Mr. Speaker makes some excellent points in a secret email exchange with your editor:

...I have a great affinity for useless statistical analysis. Perhaps my conclusion will be something like: "if Nik Antropov can shoot the puck more, he will score 5% more of the time because he has such a consistently accurate shooting % over the years." And you can do some satirical post about how Nik's mystic ferret friend (or whatever the hell he is) Misha can help Nik further develop his keen sense of telepathical power on the ice to feed the puck to his linemates in positions to score more frequently then we may just eclipse 230 goals scored next season!

Area Man Arrested After Calling 911 And Demanding Return Of Winnipeg Jets

The area being Winnipeg, of course.

Via Deadspin, a bit of the Winnipeg Free Press report:

WINNIPEG — At least one local hockey fan thinks it’s criminal the Winnipeg Jets haven’t returned home.

A 33-year-old resident of Lundar, Manitoba is facing numerous charges after allegedly making a series of 911 calls which included demanding RCMP officers somehow bring the National Hockey League back to the province.

"He began the conversation by saying he wanted the Jets back. He was quite upset about it," a justice source told the Free Press on Wednesday.

Marvelous.

***IN OTHER NEWS***

Presented without comment:

Excuses to Play DEVO Videos

Lord n' Taylor, it's hot outside. I thought it was hot in Istanbul, but this, jeezus...

Anyway.

You have to understand, comrades, that this is the time of year when we can't bring ourselves to think of anything original or interesting to say. Mainly because there's nothing going on. All we can do is glance at Puck Daddy and talk about whatever the Yahoo! employees are typing about at any given moment.

Seems that this Kovalchuk contract business has gotten way out of hand. How about that, heengh? Also: you'd think both Ilya and the NJ Devils organization could use their free will to come up with a contract less horrible and mendacious.

Also also: if Bobby Ryan and James Neal are playing RFA hardball, then can Rick Dudley work some of that comical Rick Dudley magic and sneakily snatch them up? He just has to use his freedom of choice. "To trade draft picks or not to trade," etc...

NEWS! Pavs In, C-Mac Out, and Tiller to Twitter

Exactly three things happening in Thrasherville these days:

1) Clarke MacArthur has made the tragic decision to ask for way more money than he's worth, drag the Thrashers to arbitration, and then walk off because he's sad.

2) Ondrej Pavelec has re-signed, in Czech.

3) The world has been waiting a long time for a Bill "Rawhide" Tiller Twitter feed. Well kiddies, it's finally here, hooray!

Why Do The Thrashers Despise Ungodly Noise Machines?

People who watched that World Cup thing will remember the vuvuzela. You know, the long horn that sounds like a flock of storks being sucked into a jet engine? It's awfully loud even through the teevee screen, and the likes of TBC operative Go Puck Yourself can confirm that it is intolerably loud in person.

Therefore, the Thrashers have officially added it to their List of Prohibited Items, or (to give it its proper name) the Index Itemum Prohibitorum.

This is disappointing for all sorts of reasons. Imagine the heights of absurdity that could be scaled with hockey game vuvuzelas: players totally unable to concentrate, dumb goalie-baiting chants drowned out forever, the inevitable arrival of the Beer Cannon Vuvuzela, etc...

It pains us that the Thrashers are the first (and so far only) NHL team to ban the vuvuzela. Because OTHER teams will allow it, at least for a little while, and from Day One of next season we'll just be the square kids without horrible noise-horns. Sad.

Devilish

Hahaha well what do we know?

Ilya Kovalchuk is the goddamn Devil.

Kovy Signs with Devils

According to various trusted TSN tweets (BMac and DD):

"TSNBobMcKenzie: Ilya Kovalchuk re-signs with NJD. More importantly, looks like I'm going to Kid Rock-Jon Bon Jovi concert. :-) Financial terms on both later"

Anyone else feel that this was a let down? Seemed like the Kings made too much sense. Also, I wonder if those who laughed at NJ for "losing" the trade a while back (because "they only got a rental player" or something like that) will tweet a retraction? You know who you are...

Kovalchuk Will Bravely Choose His Fate Any Day Now

Well well well. I manage to get through the majority of my Sojourn to Elsewhere (three imperial capitals, all of them sweltering and full of alcohol) without Ilya Kovalchuk making a decision. But according to the Internet, I might hear something, oh, TOMORROW morning maybe, when I'm wandering the airport duty-free area, waiting for the plane back to Atlanta. Because the L.A. Kings front office is far, far away from where I am at the moment, and time zones, etc...

Good Burmistrov Article By John Manasso

Link here.

The fact that Burmie put up almost a point per game (8/8/16 in 17 games) in the OHL playoffs and his coaches speak so highly of him is encouraging. Sounds like he is a hard worker and will put on some muscle before coming back to training camp.

Aliu

So I get back from my honeymoon and spend time I really don't have reading C-Viv's updates on the Thrashers newest prospects. First off, now that I know that Aliu is pronounced to rhyme with "Atreyu" from Neverending Story, I know what the first running inside joke of the 2010-11 season is going to be. The next thing I learn is that he's NOT FINNISH! What a shock! Thanks, Vivlamore!

I had heard a quick mention shortly after the trade that Aliu was hampered by a hazing incident in junior. It wasn't until reading Vivlamore's post that I learned exactly what that incident was.

Apparently the rookies on Aliu's junior team were being forced to cram naked into the bathroom on the team bus. If you've ever been unfortunate to use the bathroom on a bus you know that it's really not big enough for one person, let alone several naked men.

Aliu refused to submit to the treatment. Steve Downie (now a Cinderella story for the Tampa Bay Lightning) took umbrage to this upstart rookie's behavior and took it upon himself to mete out punishment. In practice, Downie skated up and cross checked Aliu in the mouth, knocking out several teeth. Aliu responded:



Good for him. Can't wait to see him crack the lineup and face Downie in Tampa. Dudley says the kid is 6'3" and 225 lbs with a lot of speed on him. Obviously he's willing to stick up for himself.

If he develops in the right way and Atlanta can ice a team with he and Byfuglien as a one-two power forward punch, it could really be something.

He's obviously not going to be ready just yet. He was sent down to the ECHL last season for further maturation. With the right coaches and in the right situation, I really like this kid's potential.

How About That Prospekt Camp?

Your Chronicle would cover the prospect camp this year, but most of us are way out of town, so we can't. Hooray!

In lieu of a report on our prospects, here's a hypothetical question that makes us sad:

"So, do you think Daulton Leveille will be ready this year?"

Torchetti Hired

Read about it here.

So Dudley got both his guys... very impressive. I started a little harsh on old Duds, but the last few moves have been good ones, IMHO.

Everyone else here at TBC is off at far away land places. I'm busy and have to work. Discuss if you please.

Sailing to Byzantium

Like you, we're eager to hear all about whatever it is Ilya Kovalchuk decides to do with his life. Your Chronicle is one of the few Thrashers-centric outlets that thinks it'd be a fine thing if he, for some reason, came back to Atlanta. Like I've said a few times in the past week or so, we need a stellar top-six forward, and you won't find a better one than Kovalchuk.

"Been there, done that," I hear you say, Dr. Dre-like.

The difference between Kovalchuk Then and Hypothetical Kovalchuk Now is that the Thrashers can now offer him a strong supporting cast. And, perhaps, new owners.

Whatever Kovy chooses, your TBC editor likely won't be able to cover very much of it, as this evening he's setting off for various cities beyond our shores and will be Gone for two weeks. I'll still have ready Internet access during that time, but I'll probably try to avoid it as much as I can. Nonetheless, if something Big happens, you can expect an Important Post.

Longtime hockey-blogging heartthrob Big Shooter will be manning the U.S.S. Blueland Chronicle in my absence. Razor Catch Prey would join in too, but he's busy with "honeymoon" stuff in Antigua. And Monsieur Catalogues, well, he doesn't really exist.

So enjoy the Kovalchuking tension, and the desolate wasteland (in terms of hockey news) that will follow his ultimate decision. Like I said, most of the time I'll be visiting old friends in the shadow of St. Marylebone Parish or furiously trying to repair the U.S.-Turkish NATO alliance. But if something big happens, or if the fancy takes me, I shall post.

Anyway. Later!

Oh Yes, Eric Boulton, Etc.

Sooooo...how many fourth liners do we now own? A good thing to have choices, we suppose.

So, Ilya Kovalchuk...

What's his deal anyway, hmm?

Or perhaps I should make this post one of those "Open Letter to Ilya Kovalchuk" things. In which case:

Dear Komrade Kovalchuk,

What is your deal anyway, hmm?

Regards,
M. Peacock

On the GM Intelligence Scale...

Where does Rick Dudley sit? Near or far from David Poile?

Important Announcement Regarding TBC Matrimony

As a rule, we generally don't mention anything about our personal lives on this here blog (except for my career as a Russian spy who works deep cover as a "hockey fan"). But occasionally something Important happens, like Razor Catch Prey getting married.

Which will happen tomorrow, July 3rd, between the ratifying and the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Hooray!

So wish Razor and his bride (code name: Mizz Razor) well, in your heart or in the comments section.

Day 2

First off, let me say that after somewhat trashing our friend Dudley in a post earlier in the week for his work on the big trade and draft day, let me say that I am pleased with both moves made yesterday.

Mason will be an upgrade over our beloved Moose. God bless that animal.

I like the Ladd trade, both in what we got and what we gave up. Very nicely done.

I HATE the fact that Day 2 starts out with Kubina signing in Tampa for two years. Come one Duds/ASG. WTF? Reports I saw said we were off on both term and dollars. Are you kidding me? We couldn't offer Kubina a 2 year deal??? Had we signed him you've got the makings of a pretty solid team. Now, in my mind, there is still a big hole to fill on the blueline.

It's not October yet, but I have a feeling we are pretty much done with big moves. Hopefully not.

Important Post of Vindication

If famous Atlanta sports radio station 680 The Fan had a physical print newspaper, I'd be hawking it on a meth-stained street corner right now. Why?

Because on the Radio Machine today they reported that the Thrashers will SOON be sold to some new owners who will do the following:

1) first step: buy those phukkin Thrashers from the Atlanta Spirit. Separately, as in like, "Fuck those Hawks and those Philips Arena's."

2) KEEP THEM IN THA MUTHAPHUCKIN' ATL SKEET SKEET SKEET GODDAMN.

Your Chronicle TRIED to warn you of this appealing shit just a little while ago. Raine Group, etc. But you didn't listen. Or did you? The ones who did will all get Tickets to Awesome Cruises in the near future.

P.S. The Thrashers' recent Choices in Life seem somewhat mature. Are the Thrashers finally adults? Are we? Are you?

And the Frenzy Frenzies On

We like the Mason/Ladd business. But we want at least one more guaranteed top-six forward. Alexander Frolov would do nicely.

Meanwhile, Johan Hedberg has gone to New Jersey. Martin Brodeur will never have a better back-up, so hooray for Moose!

***

Q: You know what's eerie?

A: Except for Volchenkov, all the Russians are silent.

IMPORTANT CORRECTION: As Razor Catch Prey points out, Sergei Gonchar is, in fact, a Russian. Your TBC editor is more negligent than Lindsay Lohan.

Andrew Ladd?

Darren Dreger says the Thrashers are very close to finishing up a trade for Andrew Ladd. The price, he Tweets, is a draft pick and a prospect.

WHICH prospect? Surely a D-person.

UPDATE: It's final. Ivan Vishnevsky and a 2nd-rounder to Chicago. Ladd to Atlanta.

Chris Mason Is Your New Goalperson

Yes he is.


Goodbye forever, Moose. Where will he land?

Also, what does "Chris Mason is our new goaltender" mean?

The Madness Continues, Madly

(continuous updates below)

A hearty Thank You to Razor Catch Prey for his handling of live-blogging duties today. I would have been more engaged earlier, but I had to get some things done.

SO WHAT DID I MISS?

Ah yes, Dan Ellis is headed to Tampa. And Nittymaki to San Jose. And Colby Armstrong to Leafville. And Ilya Kovalchuk to...where?

And what about that Rick Dudley? What is his Grand Plan?

- Wait, what, Sergei Gonchar went to Ottawa? AHAHAHAHAHA

- How wild would it be if the Toronto Maple Leafs made some kind of Tomas Kaberle-for-Marc Savard deal, then signed Ilya Kovalchuk? A re-united Kovy-Savard pairing to play alongside Kris Versteeg and Phil Kessel, and uh, Colby Armstrong.

- Oh my. Paul Martin a Penguin, just like this young man.

- "Nabokov, Turco, Mason, Theodore, etc. all are going to have a real tough time finding a team," sez the James Mirtle writer. You all know what THIS means.

- Good Lord this is boring. Hamhuis to Vancouver (I think). I apologize for the sluggardly blogging today; I am awfully tired, for various work-related reasons. If something INTERESTING happens, I shall blog-slap it, here.

- Jay Grossman says his client, Anton Volchenkov, is finalizing his contract with the New Jersey Devils. What does this mean for that Kovalchuk fellow?

Let the Madness Begin!

Yes, it's that time again friends. The first day of free agency. A day so exciting Canada made it a national holiday.

Where will Kovy end up?

Will Rick Dudley do anything brilliant/insane/none of the above?

If you're too lazy to range all over the 'Tubes to find out what is going on then stick with us here at TBC as we consolidate all the info on the big moves.

9:30 am- Keven Allen says Atlanta will be making another effort to sign Moose and will be looking for a forward this afternoon.

Gonchar is officially going to the open market.

Dan Ellis is NOT going to sign with Montreal before noon today. Time to start a campaign: "IF NOT MOOSE, THEN ELLIS!"

10:25 am- Apparently the Flames are expecting something to happen today. They have their press conference podium up and ready to go already. But it's not a stretch for any team to expect to have SOMETHING to address the media about today.

What do we still have we can give up to get Jarome Iginla?

10:35- Custance: "Hedberg and Thrashers still talking, but no agreement yet. Other options for the Moose include NYR, MTL, NJD..."

REALLY don't want to see Moose in any of those sweaters. Pay the man, Dudley!

Eklund shamelessly pandering to crazy Leafs fans by saying that he "thinks the Leafs will be in on" Kovy.

11:00- A funny: TheFourthPeriod I would not be surprised if FLA makes pitch for Kovalchuk... just like I would not be surprised when he says 'no thanks'

11:35- Posts will get a little bit sparser over the next little while. I have errands to run but will be watching everything on my Droid (which I call 'Whistler' and have an R2D2 ringtone for) and posting when I can.

12:00- And Marty Biron to the Rangers is the first deal done. Good solid backup but a little pricey for the role.

Kevin Allen says Dudley is still awaiting an answer from Moose.

12:10- Eklund says Moose talking to Habs. IF NOT MOOSE, THEN ELLIS!

GONCHAR TO SENS. First big move of the day.

Erik Christiensen signs with NYR. Have fun with that.

Gonch 5.5 mil per year. NTC.

Coburn re-signed by Flyers.

12:30- Lots of Savard for Regher Bos-Cal talk. Both players have NTC.

Army talking to the Leaf. I really hope he goes West. Don't want to play him often.

Interesting tweets between Ben Wright and John Manasso about Savard and Peter Bondra.

1:20- been on the road for last half hour. St. Louis signs extension in Tampa for 5.5 mil/ year.

Z. Michalek to Pit. Paul Martin was rumored to be going there. Now who knows?

1:50- Army a Leaf. How many Thrashers' bones will he break next time plays Atlanta?

Nittymakii to the Sharks. Good to see him out of the East.