GAME DAY: Toronto Maple Leafs

I know a guy who knows a guy who says he once hired a private investigator to dig up some dirt on Carlton the Bear. Two words: hooker slap.*

Anyway, tonight the Thrashers play the Toronto Maple Leafs, who come from Canada, which in turn comes from the space beavers. To quote our former governor, "Go Thrashers."

*Just kidding, North America. We have no wish to defame Carlton. He is, after all, a sweet-faced polar bear. However, I did see him trample a small child once. At least he didn't eat the kid, I suppose...

ALSO: Evander Kane and Jim Slater seem to be out. As does Ben Eager, who remains on the IR. "IR hurt," he says.