Sunday, January 10, 2010

Comical Casino Night Tonight

None of us will be going, though special Chronicle friends and operatives Krisabelle and Mr. Speaker (who I may or may not have kissed at some point last night) will be attending. We expect them to wire us secret text messages about the awkward vibe.

34 comments:

Mr. Speaker said...

Let's hope the big announcement of the night is:

"We're sorry all, but Don Waddell will not be in attendance tonite due to being shit-canned! Hooray!

Oh, and Rick Dudley is our new GM and shit, but he's busy working on a trade for Patrick Sharp, Cam Barker and a 7th round pick for Kovy, Brett Sterling and any other Chicago Wolves' their GM might be intrigued by. Enjoy your evening!"

Yo Morty, check the spud bar below for some of my juicy commentary. Hope you aren't feeling too banged up after a hard day's night! And yes, I believe you kissed everyone there except for the grinding, dancing club hoe who was beggin' for it all night.

PS - Frenchy Cats is a gangsta on the drums and on the mike. We coulda used him during our Oh Canada / Sweet Caroline / America / Sweet Child O' Mine medley of ear assailment. Dope.

Mortimer Peacock said...

I feel relatively okay. Took 4 Advil before I passed out, and I'm watching this weird yoga DVD.

Mr. Speaker said...

I shall NEVER forget!

Plus, I didn't accidentally delete the silly pictures we took. So there is tangible photographic evidence of the festivities.

Enjoy your yoga...better get those hammies stretched out for your next date!

Big Shooter said...

Don't forget in addition to kissing Mr. Speaker, you also punched me in the nose...

Mortimer Peacock said...

I did? Surely not.

Mortimer Peacock said...

P.S. I'm so sorry for being an abusive drunk. I've already checked myself into the Betty Ford Clinic.

Big Shooter said...

It was just an accident. Alcohol slows the reflexes you know!

GoPuckYourself said...

Ben Wright (aka The Spin Doctor) tweeted that today's the first time in his years with the Thrashers that the coaches canceled the off-day and made the guys' practice.

Whatever that means....guess now we're trying extra hard to suck?

Jay said...

Kings GM Dean Lombardi is on his way to Atlanta right now to meet with Waddell. For what it's worth.

Big Shooter said...

Sweet Jesus. Where did you read that, Jay?

Jay said...

Saw it on the Senators-Hurricanes telecast tonight during one of the intermissions. One guy mentioned that maybe Kopitar would be involved and the other guy shot him down very quickly and said it was mostly draft picks and most definitely NOT Kopitar.

Jay said...

Now The Fourth Period is reporting Lombardi going to Atlanta.

Mutton Sourdough said...

Mortimer - Miraculous recovery sir! The last time I got that drunk I took out my buddy's shower temperature control dial on my way down....

Anonymous said...

The Thrash are going to get so badly fleeced in this deal it's heartbreaking. Don Waddell has single-handled killed hockey in Atlanta for the second time. SHIT.

Mutton Sourdough said...

Anonymous - I fear you are correct. Booze at the ready fellas! Grab your ankles and hold on tight cause the Atlanta Thrashers are gonna take one hardcore.

Anonymous said...

BULLSHIT!!!!

Chip said...
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Chip said...
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Chip said...

I'm calling bullshit as well.

Booze has been in the system for hours at this point. (Watched the WJC Game for the third time).

Tried to post a pic, but apparently you can’t do that in the comments section.

Anyway, fuck those douche bags out in LA.

Mutton Sourdough said...

Bullshit on what? The trade? IF it happens, IF (and Im not entirely sure DEEdub is smart enough to realize he needs to get SOMETHING for Kovalchuk) theres no way the Thrashers dont get the short end of the stick. Trading a "superstar" is like trading a goalie. About the only way to have a chance at breaking even is to trade for another superstar or so much stuff that you could rebuild an entire team on what you got in the trade. And while DEEdub got the best of Brian Burke in the Exelby for Kubina trade, I do not for a second believe he is capable of getting enough return for Kovalchuk.

Chip said...

This whole rumor is based on an article by the fourth period.

The same source that proclaimed he would be dealt before the WJC tournament was over.

Grossman knows the Thrashers are going to offer him max dollars, or more than any other team will for that matter.

He’s just being an asshole (like 5 years ago) and trying to pinch Waddell.

For god’s sake, the guy is on the season tickets/picture posted on the elevators/pictures of him all over the arena and he is their main marketing asset.

They’ll pay him, but I agree, it’s going to hurt us long term signing a sniper that has no interest in playing defense.

Atlanta without Kovalchuk is a bad, bad, bad situation.

Who would you suggest the Thrashers market if he leaves?

Jay said...

I disagree. Waddell isn't really THAT bad. He was not even close to a position of strength in trading Heatley, yet he lands Hossa. Hossa makes it obvious to EVERYONE that he is not returning, so once again Waddell is not in a good position, yet he gets Armstrong, a number one pick, and Esposito, who might have turned into something if not for two bad injuries. Plus, a lot of teams if I can remember were not all that interested in Hossa. Waddell gets Peverley and Afinogenov off the scrap heap, signs Antropov to what now looks like a very reasonable contract, fleeces Burke for Kubina, drafts Kane, Little, Bogosian, and Enstrom. His most recent work is really pretty good. Even if the entire world knows Kovalchuk has to be traded, Waddell is/should still do well because enough teams are interested to drive the price high. Simple supply and demand. Not enough teams were in on Hossa for Waddell to get anything great. Kovalchuk is a different story.

Kovy to:
-Chicago for Barker, Versteeg/Sharp, and Kyle Beach.

-Kings for Braydon Schenn, Thomas Hickey, Wayne Simmonds, and 1st round pick.

-Calgary for Mikael Backlund, Rene Bourque, and 1st round pick.

-Vancouver for Cody Hodgson, Jordan Schroeder, 1st round pick, and cap filler

-Philadelphia for Carter/Richards, Coburn, and 1st round pick

-Boston for Joe Colborne, Blake Wheeler, Derek Morris, Toronto's 1st rounder, and Boston's 1st rounder.

-San Jose for Devin Setoguchi, Marc-Edouard Vlasic, Logan Couture, and a 1st round pick

I have way too much time on my hands.

Chip- The Thrashers can market Kane and Bogosian. Two under twenty players that will be here for awhile. I fully believe the Thrashers can win without Kovy. Once they start to win, people will come out to watch the team. Kovalchuk is not putting people in the seats now.

Mr. Speaker said...

Give me Wayne Simmonds! I need Wayne Simmonds. I want to hear him say in a scrum in front of the net, "does Wayne Simmonds need to choke a bitch!!?"

Yeah, that's right.

A trade with LA, Chi or Bos will all be righteous, IMHO.

In other noteworthy news, Schubert is the shit, Slater IS skandalous, and Colby got folded up into the back of an SVU because he was getting a ride home from his parents. Oh, by the way, Kovy was nowhere to be found after the initial introductions....even in the VIP section...thanks Schubes.

PS - Marty likes to Party

Jay said...

Hmm...maybe Kovy was picking Dean Lombardi up at the airport.

Have a Kane-White-Simmonds line and call it the Oreo line. You know, the one that has the White filling.

Chip said...

Look Jay, I’m not disagreeing with you that the Thrash needs to make a move one way or another.

But do you really think any of those trade options are going to happen? I mean really?

Come on man, no team is going to give up those assets for a rental.

The next time you go to a game, count how many folks with a player’s jersey have anyone but Kovalchuck’s name on it. It’s pretty obvious…

I also agree that he’s not the franchise, but Bogosian or Kane are not going to pull in new fans or keep current fans. Kovy’s about all we have at this point. That’s all I’m sayin’.

I understand that winning will put butts in seats, but letting a top ten forward isn’t going to help accomplish that.

Jay said...

One of those trades very well might happen. Every one of those teams wants Kovalchuk. Do you really think Calgary is just going to let Vancouver get him without trying to make a better offer? Or the Blackhawks will just let the Kings get him without a fight? Almost all of those teams I mentioned are out west and are all very close in the playoff race. There very well might be a bidding war. Boston is probably the most desperate for offense than any of those teams. The east is weak this year and getting Kovalchuk could make them a favorite. Plus, most of the trades I suggested, Chicago and Philly notwithstanding, took very little from these team's NHL clubs. Most were top prospects, picks, and cap fillers. You take a Stanley Cup contender and add Kovalchuk while subtracting almost nothing, who wouldn't do that? LA's entire team is young so losing prospects means nothing, Chicago is going to have to unload some guys anyways, why not for a Top 10 player in hopes of getting their first Cup in decades? Philly might just do it for a change in chemistry which seems to be needed. Boston needs to win now after the season they had last year, having the Winter Classic this year, and having the pressure of being the only Boston team that hasn't won anything lately, San Jose could look to reunite Kovy and Heatley with Thornton in between(JESUS CHRIST, can you imagine?) and move Marleau to the second line for almost unheard of scoring depth. I can't see Calgary and Vancouver letting one another get Kovy without upping the ante somehow. Kovalchuk could very well be the final piece to a Stanley Cup puzzle for any of these teams. Do you think that an unproven prospect or late first round draft pick will stop any of these teams from trading for Kovy just because he could be a rental? This is much different than the Hossa trade. There really was never a market for Hossa that developed. EVERY contending team is checking in on Kovalchuk. Supply and demand. Plus Waddell isn't alone. He has Dudley with him now. That is going to be a big help.

As far as the marketing thing, I think it is safe to say that the fans that come out now wouldn't blame the Thrashers for trading Kovy at this point, so I think no one is jumping ship. New fans will come on board once the team starts winning, with or without Kovalchuk. Nashville, Montreal, and Buffalo have proven you can win without superstar talent. Minnesota is proving it after losing a top 10 talent in Gaborik while getting nothing in return.

krisabelle said...
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krisabelle said...

Check it, boys! Pictures from Casino Night '10 are up and ready for viewage! Loves!

http://krisabelle.blogspot.com/2010/01/casino-night-rocked-all-hell-fires.html

BGNP - Free Money at all the top Casino, Poker, Bingo and Betting Sites said...

Nice Posting....

Mr. Speaker said...

Fuck this bullshit. I want Wayne Simmonds on this team. Two brothas playin' hockey in the ATL "skatin down old Nat, gat tucked and lean." Ludacris playin' Center wit Lil' John patrollin' da pipes mean."

Mortimer Peacock said...

Jesus H. Christ.

Mortimer Peacock said...

Also: this Lombardi business is, well, who knows? The Kings seem like the most realistic trading partner, but then again I'm not sure just how much they'd be willing to give up for a rental. I'd love Jack Johnson, but I doubt they'd give him up...or would they?

I want to agree with Jay about all those possible trade scenarios (and I've already mentioned ones I could live with), but ultimately I'm just not sure that any team is going to give up a ton for a rental.

BUT there hasn't been a rental player of Kovalchuk's calibre to hit the market in a while. Maybe not since Hossa...oh godhelpus.

Big Shooter said...

What was it in Monty Python's Flying Circus they would yell.... you know when the skit was going on too long or wasn't funny, "GET ON WITH IT!!!".

GoPuckYourself said...

YES! GET ON WITH IT!