Thursday, April 14, 2011

Oh those Crazy Canadians

Ah, TSN, how we love thee though we are occasionally forced into fits of laughter at your Canukistani-centric-ness.

Consider this hastily thrown together column predicting the first few picks in this summer's NHL Entry Draft posted after the New Jersey devils won the lottery and vaulted the Thrashers into the 4th spot.

Notice anything odd about it? Mr. Button gives us his prediction for the Oilers' top pick, the Avs and Panthers at 2 and 3, and the Devils, Islanders, and Senators at 4-7. Instead of moving on to the Atlanta Thrashers pick at number 8, he jumps directly to the next Canadian team in line, the Flames at 13.

(Luckily, Craig Button talks to himself while he types his columns and we have a bug in his office. It's staticy, but we were able to pull this off the transcript: "Ok, so that's the Oilers taking RNH you betcha. Then I had to talk aboot those other teams picking second through sixth before Ottawa, the team in the city where the nation of Canada keeps its capital so we can pretend to be independent of the United States; picks Adam Larssen. Let's see who's next there... ATLANTA? OH HOLY BEAVER-GOD, I CAN'T TAKE IT! WHY DON'T THEY JUST GIVE ALL 30 FIRST ROUND PICKS TO THE LEAFS!?!?")

Then today TSN reprints a story from the "Canadian Press" titled "Canucks Begin Run to the Cup with Win over Blackhawks." Notice the way that title concludes that the Canucks will be hoisting the Cup in early June. They're the best Canadian team in the playoffs, so WHAT ELSE COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN?

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