Thursday, April 22, 2010

MIDDAY BRIEFING: "When the boys asked her, 'Sibyl, what do you want?' she answered 'I want to kick Mike Richards's fucking teeth in.'"

Haven't done one of these news and links round-ups in quite some time, and more importantly, we have nothing to talk about. So here we go!

- Former Atlanta star athlete Ilya "The Black Dominique Wilkins" Kovalchuk, between periodic jam jar assaults from Lou Lamoriello, is promising to rain hell on those Flyers in Game 5 of the New Jersey/Philadelphia series. He's even given a Messier-esque guarantee of victory. Is he the Sibyl of Cumae or just another pain-in-the-ass false prophet? Tune in tonight at midnight!

- Over at Bird Watchers Anonymous, the Falconer is going stone cold Sherlock Holmes on this Ricky Dudley character, digging up old (and revealing) interviews with Jay Feaster, probing the man's history, etc. The conclusion History seems to imply is that Dudley is one serious mofo, a rugged individualist who absolutely must do things his way or Just Cold Resign. Stubborn and dogmatic or principled and gun-adhesive? You decide.

- Why does Alexander Ovechkin hate Quebecois children?

- Will Kovalchuk even consider returning to the Thrashers this summer? As the estimable Rawhide writes,"Stopit-forgiddaboutit-notgonnahappen-nowayinhell-donotdothistoyourselfanymore." I say he ends up in Los Angeles or takes lower pay to play on the Washington Russian Mutants for at least two years.

- Let's close with a Q&A session.

Question: What's more awesome than the Stanley Cup Playoffs?

Answer: A goddamn sheep-pig.

7 comments:

Mr. Speaker said...

Most definitely the god damned sheep-pig! Truly remarkable. And that sheep-pig, if real, probably will be damned to a life of humiliation, suffering and early death due to genetic disease of some kind. But the biggest question is how does it eat? I bet Ricky Barnes knows how that fat-back sheep tastes!

the jointhead said...

Too early to call it the Kovachuk curse? NJ was badass until they got him. Definatly cost himself some money. prob wont get what we were offering unless he comes back here.

Wayne stuck in AL said...

"...Ilya "The Black Dominique Wilkins" Kovalchuk...

You're kidding, right?

If Eel-ya had just 10% of 'Nique's charisma...

A2B said...

haha, kovy has a playoff jinx too.

h said...

I forget how the draft works.....does NJ getting out in first round give us a higher draft pick?

A2B said...

Take the 8 teams that get eliminated in the first round and they are placed in the draft from lowest point total to highest point total, so the latest the pick can now be is 22, and the highest would be 15.

h said...

thanks. very helpful. Guess we have to root for Detroit, Nashville and the Avs.....