Game Day: LA Kings

The Kings are off to a great start this season and sit at 4th in the West for now. Anze Kopitar has 14 goals. They also have that Doughty kid that Canadians pretend is as good as Zach Bogosian.

Let's hope the momentum from the Czar's return last night on Broadway carries over.

Live and Kinda-Live Blog: ATL vs. NYR

Our guest Ranger Fan is stuck at work and will be watching the game on TiVo. As such, I will be live-blogging alone and will add in his comments after he watches the game later.

15 minutes left in the 1st: My dog had unplugged the DSL, so I am late posting. The game is already 1-1 and Boulton is taking a beating from Donald Brashear. Boults got in a few shots at the end to even the fight out.

Great play by Kane to get the puck on the tape of Army for the first goal. Atlanta finally gets on the board first in a game. Bad break after that with some Russian I've never heard of bouncing one off Moose, then off Little's skate and in.

The Czar's Movember Mustashe is scary.

HOLY COW what a save by MOOSE on Prospal right in front! The boys need to start playing defense sometime this season.


14:00 1st: Oh yeah, our questions have all been answered. Kovy, Gabby, King Henrik, and Kane all playing.

BOGO DROPS THE GLOVES! And man, is he whaling on this poor, unsuspecting Ranger kid! OH< IT WAS CALLAHAN! Hard to recognize him with Bogosian's fist covering up his face.


12:00 ist: Darren Elliot just read my mind commenting about all of these Rangers I've never heard of.

SCHUBERT WITH A GREAT CHANCE! How the heck did he get out in front like that? Too bad he can't finish. As a guy who used to sit next to us at games would've said, "wrong guy."

11:15 ist: Henry STONES Fins! What a great play to get him the puck. Fins has got to get that up in that situation.


Two great 19 year olds wearing #4 here in this game. Del Zotto and Bogosian are both having great years and play like 10 year veterans.


Gaborik loks totally different as a blueshirt. I remember being in Minnesota for the World Cup of Hockey and hearing a group of Slovaks walking through the concourse singing "Marion Gaborik" to the tune of "Let's Go _______"

8:48 1st: Shubert takes a bad penalty. Thanks a lot Andy Sutton 2.0.


Gaborik ended up on what should have been a breakaway but he fanned on the shot and Ron OMGIRH Hainsey made a play! Should have gotten the puck away but the follow up man got a shot away and MOOOOOOSSE! made the save! Like I said, Defense. Sometime this season. It's coming.


6:04 1st: Great shift by the Perestroika Line. Kovy was all over the ice. Fins has to learn that the net is 8 feet narrower than his aim.

Powerplay!

No more powerplay... Todd White for high sticking, and wow is Mostachioed Kovy upset.


4 on 4 and my dog chooses now to knock over my rum and coke. She is not on board with this liveblog idea.

KOVY WITH A CHANCE! Only a hook kept the puck out of the net. 4-3 powerplay.

I missed it thanks to the dog's antics, but Big Shooter just called to tell me that Darren Elliot just referred to Peverly as the Pevs Dispenser! I have never been so proud.


30 seconds to go: Amazing 2-0, but Fins can't finish. How many times have Sabres fans said that over the years?

End of the period: Bogo with a rocket a bit wide. The first period felt like it was tilted heavily in the Thrashers' favor. More next period.


2ND PERIOD-----------


Oh my god, I never want to hear Matt McConnell do a Boston accent again.

The Rangers' goal in the first period was scored by Artisimov. I think that's the name of a Russian date rape drug.


18:00 in the 2nd: Great save by Lundqvist on Fins. And if you're wondering, I'm going to keep calling him that so I don't have to try to spell his name.

The Pevs Dispenser draws a penalty! Ok, so it was Army, but I wanted to mention Peverly.


ALL I HAD TO DO WAS WAIT!!!!!!! Peverly with the powerplay goal off a rebound! He actually banked it off a defender. His 8th goal this year! What a waiver pickup by DW.


Boulton getting chippy again in the corner. Smartly not dropping the gloves when the Thrashers are up by a goal. Don't want to give the other guys a chance to steal momentum.

Cunneyworth makes his mustache look good.


Even though he took a beating from Bogosian earlier, you really have to love Ryan Callahan. American kid, plays hard every shift. I'd love to see him in a role playing position on Team USA in February.


13:40 in the 2nd: Toby with a nice heads up play jumping up and batting the puck away with his hand to keep it away from the net. Anyone else could have reached out without having to jump, of course.


Antropov has to learn to shoot the puck.


Bogosian makes so many things just look easy. He makes room for himself using moves that look like they just shouldn't fool NHL caliber players, but they do.


7:39 in the 2nd: A little pressure here from the Rangers. So far nothing in the way of real quality scoring chances, but they'll come if the Thrashers don't get control of the puck back.


AAARGH!! Great give and go between Kovy and Fins but they DON'T FINISH! Nobody wants to shoot the puck!

Kovy shoots it this time and strikes iron!


Penalty coming on Armstrong after a great play by the Pevs Kane Army line. I think it's cheap to call a penalty on a guy who swipes at the puck and happens to also catch a guy's skates. What do you think Shooter?


The "For Every King, a Crown" ad campaign is clever, but Crown Royal is for Canadians and other people who aren't man enough to enjoy their whiskey. If it's not from Kentucky, Scotland, or Ireland it's not worth drinking.


5:00 in the 2nd: Great clearing effort on his stomach by Marty the Party.

Gaborik with a nice goal. He was handcuffed on his shot and still got plenty on it to beat Moose. 2-2 game. Maybe he pulled his groin on the celebration.


Thrashers coming out after the goal with a bit of a defeated look to their stride. Hope they can shake that off and buckle down.


Kid's Day this Sunday at Philips. Have to remember to double Morty's tourette's medication.

WOAH! Kubina really screwed the pooch defensively there but Moose came up huge with a save!

Callahan upended a Thrasher and ruined a 2 on 1 chance for the Rangers. Powerplay Thrahesrs.


Brian Boyle in the box for the Rangers. God, I wish he played for us. I used to love watching him play for Boston College.


CZARED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kovy with a classic zipline to the top corner! 3-2 Thrashers.


Wow. That mustache. Kovy. **Shiver**


OH MY GOD!!!! What a play by whoever that was on the boards to steal the clearing attempt and hit Evander Kane in front of the net!

It was the Pevs Dispenser. Shoulda known.

1:15 left in the 2nd: 4-2 Thrashers.

Hey, Antro shot the puck! He needs more practice. Missed the net.


McConnel: "Unable to put it home was [Fins]." Again, a very familiar phrase.

End of the 2nd period: Talk about stealing the momentum! 20 more minutes to go!



3rd Period--------------


Bogosian takes a penalty on a trip. Unintentional, but a call that had to be made. Powerplay to the Rangers.

How smart a player is Rich Peverly? He can't get enough ice time.


Nice blast from Rosival, but Hedberg saw it all the way and closed down on it.

A near miss by the Rangers after the powerplay had ended. Good save by Moose and some luck that the Blueshirts couldn't get wood on the rebound.

"Avery got it in behind." Too easy.


13:42 in the 3rd: Rangers bring it to within 1. Kotalik with a boomer from the point; Moose can't control the rebound and Big Brian Boyle reacts quickly enough to bury it.

The "Let's Go Rangers" cheer reminds me: did you know that in England instead of saying "Let's go" they say "Come on?" I was there during the Soccer World Cup and they would yell "Come on England!" It is like they are pleading with their team not to suck. Actually that would have been an appropriate cheer for the Thrashers during most of our 10 year existence.


Is Antro that slow or is he just not trying?


10:16 left in the 3rd: Atlanta's play looking a little sloppy here.


Schubert takes another penalty and gives the Rangers a chance to tie the game on the powerplay halfway through the third period. This is not the way to secure your spot in the lineup. Yeah, you're better than Boris Valabik, but who isn't?


WOAH! Bogosian has the worst mustache of them all!! But impressive that a 19 year old can grow one that well.


9:20 in the 3rd: That was out.

HOLY RINGING IRON BATMAN! That's all Moose gave 'em.


Del Zotto gets a 9 from the East German judges for a beautiful dive!

Yeah, looks like they're both going to go.

Good pick off by Kaner.

Powerplay is expired and we're back to 5 on 5 with 2 men in the box on coincidental minors.

MOOOSE! But what the hell was that center by the defender afterwards!?!?


Brian Boyle and Antro jawing at each other. Not much chance of anybody's gloves dropping there. Lots of size, not much aggression in that matchup.


Seriously, has Slava Kozlov done anything but use up Evander Kane's ice time this season?


5:00 left in the 3rd: Atlanta hanging on to a 1 goal lead here late. Action at both ends of the ice for the past several minutes.

Is that Bronson Pinchot in that Fantasy Five Easy Match commercial?


Scoring chances in the third period 11-1 Rangers. Sounds like some our recent 1st period efforts.


2:15 in the 3rd: My heart just stopped seeing the puck hit the outside of the net. Great job by Moose locking it down.


Empty net! I want a Moosegoal!!!!!


Another icing. That wouldn't have been icing back under the old rules with the half circle crease. Back then if it went through the crease it wasn't icing.

OH MY GOD! FINS FOUND THE NET!!!

5-3 Thrashers with 12 seconds left, and the team will stay a couple games above .500.

And that's the game!

See you tomorrow night in Philips!

In Praise of...John Anderson's Mustache

The tone here at the Chronicle can occasionally lean towards the acid and the impolite, so we thought we'd institute a new, affirmative tradition. Every game day, we've decided, one of us will pay tribute to some unique feature of the Thrashers, or perhaps hockey in general, that you can't find elsewhere.

We shall inaugurate this new feature with a post in praise of John Anderson's fabled, influential mustache.



picture above stolen from Aaron at BWA

I mean, just look at it. It's glorious and walrus-like. What more do you want out of a mustache?

Another great thing about the Ander'stache: it's like a great cult band that didn't get extremely popular, but had all kinds of influence because its fans all started their own cool bands.

To be more specific: Coach Anderson told Big Shooter and me, in person, that his walrus 'stache was the reason Lanny McDonald grew HIS more recognizable mustache. Like the secrets of alchemy, this is arcane but very enriching knowledge.

The best part? The Coach is re-growing his famous 'stache---that glory of Toronto, Chicago, and now Atlanta---for MOvember. It's great that he's making this gesture of solidarity with cancer charities, but I honestly hope he'll keep it even when MOvember comes to an end.

Long may it flourish.

Game Day: NY Rangers

In honor of Veterans' Day yesterday, we will forgo our usual comedic imagery in favor of this tribute to the U.S. Army Rangers who scaled the cliffs at Pointe du Hoc in Normandy on D-Day.

An interesting fact: the New York Rangers are not named for the U.S. Army Rangers, but rather for the Texas Rangers. In the early part of the 20th century, the team was owned by a New Yorker whose nickname was "Tex." A local newspaperman began calling the team "Tex's Rangers" and the name stuck.

Will the Czar be on the ice or not? Will King Henrik be on the ice or not? And how is Gaborik's groin feeling? All these questions will be addressed tonight at Madison Square Garden.

Stay tuned to the Chronicle for a liveblog with myself and a guest Ranger fan tonight during the game.

Anticipation

The plot, it thickens. SURELY he's not up there just to make an appearance in a Brighton Beach nightclub, right?

Mistakes

So I check my email.

Something from the Thrashers.



At first I read it as "Kovalchuk signing." My scream was loud and giddy.

UPDATE: Dam Kamal and Ben Wright both say that Kovy won't play tomorrow night in New York. Kamal says it's possible he'll return Friday against the Kings.

The Chelios is the Most Dignified of Instrument/Cereal Hybrids

(now with more stuff below!)



Is this necessary?

More news items, you say?

- First of all, Ilya Kovalchuk is confusing everyone. According to Ben Wright's Twitter feed, he practiced this morning but left the ice a bit early, and is "probably messing with the media." Why does he hate us so?

- Maybe we should check Chris Vivlamore's beat blog. Hmmmm, whatsitsay? AH HA, details: [Kovalchuk] was on the ice before the start of practice, dressed and skating. It looks like his foot responded well after yesterday’s practice. However, as practice started he left the ice and Rich Peverley put on a yellow practice jersey along with Nik Antropov and Max Afinogenov. I think it was planned because the extra yellow jersey was already on the bench. I will verify everything after practice." Please do, sir!

- Also, this: Evander Kane is back at practice. He missed Tuesday’s workout to have his foot examined. He is skating and shows no signs of being slowed by a shot off the foot he took Sunday.

- And, um, this: Boris Valabik is also dressed and skating.

- If you take a short golf-cart drive around the blogosphere, you'll see that everyone's favorite fan from Dacula is trying to convince a hockey neophyte (real? imaginary? a talking LOLcat?) to choose the Atlanta Thrashers as "his" team. The Thrashers' short but dramatic history is a primary factor, as is the the nobility in being able to say you've suffered through all the highs and lows of this team's struggles.

- Rawhide is all like, "Math math math math math math." I can't read numbers, so if someone could read his post for me and give it to me in Cliff Notes I'll be much obliged.

- Via Kukla's Korner, an interesting Remembrance Day news item: Carey Price will be wearing a special commemorative helmet tonight, complete with rows of red poppies and lines from that "In Flanders Fields" poem. Now, we all know the McCrae poem is moving. But last year (mainly because today last year was the 90th anniversary of the Armistice) I tried to introduce the planet Earth to some other (better) war/fallen soldier/WWI-in-particular poems that aren't as popular. You can go look at my old anthology post if you wish, but today's official TBC Veteran's Day/ Remembrance thing is this. Do click.

Update on the Czar

As reported below by Big Shooter (via Vivlamore), Kovalchuk participated in full practice today. After seeing Viv's twitter update, I saddled up and headed to Duluth to see the Czar's progress with my own eyes and report it to you.

Kovy appeared to be skating perfectly normally and participated in all the drills I watched. The couple of caveats were that in a drill in which a forward and defenseman battled along the boards, Popovic conspicuously laid off Kovy while others battled in earnest. In maneuvering however, Kovalchuk didn't seem to favor either foot. On one stop (on the right foot) I thought I noticed him stutter step away, but that could have been my imagination. He later skated around gliding on the bad foot and continued to make turns and stops on it with no apparent problem.

Ben Wright has updated his Twitter page with a note that Coach Anderson is 95% sure the Czar will be in the lineup with the Thrashers take to the ice in Madison Square Garden Thursday night.

Obviously getting Kovalchuk back this quickly (and posting a 3-3 record without him) is a big boost to the team. The Rangers' biggest star, Henrik Lundqvist, is questionable for Thursday night, so the team has an opportunity for a big morale boost.

The one bit of bad news from practice is that Evander Kane was nowhere to be seen. Chris Vivlamore informed me that someone posted a comment on his site that they thought Evander took a puck off the foot and came up injured Sunday.

Kovy Takes Part In Practice

According to Vivs. Our very own Razor Catch Prey is on the scene and hopefully will have a report of his own.

UPDATE:

Just spoke with Razor: The Czar is wonderful. Looked to be going full speed, stopping and turning with seemingly no problems. It is Razor's opinion that as long as the foot doesn't swell up after he takes his skate off, Kovy should be back Sunday at the latest, but he wouldn't be surprised to see him on Thursday. And if you can't trust Razor Catch Prey's medical opinion, then whose can you trust?

UPDATE OF THE UPDATE:

According to Vivs blog (the link above), John Anderson says Kovy is 95% chance of playing Thursday. Yes, this proves Razor Catch Prey is now a Doctor. God help us all.

Mid-Morning Briefing

We all like looking at pandas and their mixed drinks, but sometimes you just have to move on and click various news items.

- Manny Legace has signed with our notorious enemies the Carolina Hurricanes. Cam Ward going down for "a month" has something to do with this. Would using Legace have been useful for the Thrashers? Probably not, given how Pavelec and Moose have performed, but I'm sure any lingering What If's will be answered by his play with the Canes. This is great news for the Thrashers, etc.

- Ilya Kovalchuk is still out. This, too, is great news for the Thrashers.

- It actually IS great news that the Thrashers' D can score so much, but sometimes I can't help but gaze wistfully out the window and remember the days when our forwards could score as well.

- The blogosphere got a big scoop yesterday when Puck Daddy reported that Alex Ovechkin would be out for awful lot longer than the Washington Capitals organization says he will be. The Caps organization is disputing the claim (made by Ovechkin himself in an interview with Dmitry Chesnokov), but some wonder if the Caps are simply in denial and/or want to conceal the nature of Ovie's injury from the public. A company wanting to control the free flow of information like this should be surprising, to some.

- People are FLIPPING OUT about the Red Wings' disappointing play this season.

- Hall of Fame stuff happens today. Steve Yzerman, Brett Hull, Luc Robitaille, Brian Leetch, and Lou Lamoriello. True fact: Luc Robitaille was a player in the very first hockey game I ever watched. This sort of thing makes sense, because it was a Los Angeles Kings vs. Toronto Maple Leafs game. Yes sir, it was.

- Do you like shootouts, saloon girls, strange meetings aboard trains speeding through the desert? Then you'll love Chronicle Entertainment's forthcoming production, tentatively titled...well, we're not sure yet. We do know that autumn is the time of year when the big studios bring out their Oscar candidates, though, and this one is ours. I would describe it as a mix of John Ford and Howard Hawks and John Waters. Be ready.

- Also, remember: great big hockey sale over at Fire Wagon Hockey! Everything must go!

Weeeeeeeeee

If you're familiar with the Chronicle, readers, you know that Ron "OMGIRH" Hainsey and Marty "the Party" Reasoner are the two most important players on the Atlanta Thrashers.

I have to admit I was asleep during most of the game today, but I was delighted to be awaken by the achievements of these two men. I was even more delighted to win in the shootout, thanks to Slava Kozlov and Rich Peverley.

The Thrashers won, and the kids love it, so hooray! Let's hope it means something.

GAME DAY: St. Louis Blues

Yup. The St. Louis Blues. Traffic apocalypse in downtown ATL today.

WOOOOO

Waste of time.

Did any of you actually watch the whole thing, instead of turning on the DVD player?

Very difficult to care in any deep and serious way at this point. The Thrashers have revealed, after 10 years of existence, that their primary purpose on Earth is to supply the basis for a Chronicle-authored western movie.

I'm sure that, in the coming hours and days, we'll be hearing from certain quarters about how this humiliating loss is actually great news for the Thrashers, how past Thrashers teams would have lost 6-0 instead of 6-3, how they didn't give up, Progress, we're very close, etc.

Game Day: Islanders

Well, we've got this one in the bag seeing how the game is on the road and all. The Islanders are actually playing reasonable well. Brendan Witt nearly scored a hat trick the other night. Yes, that means anything could happen.

Hey, remember when Mike Milbury was in charge of the Islanders? HAHAHAHAHA... who doesn't like a good laugh in the morning? Man, the Isles still haven't recovered from that. I think we've done this before, but in the near future we really should do a recap of all the stupid moves that guy made. It will make you think twice about saying anything negative towards Waddell. I just don't have time to do it this morning. And to think Milbury gives the hockey advice on TV in not one, but TWO Nations.

Also, we like to complain about Kari Lehtonen around here, but imagine being an Islanders fan. Their boy Rick still has 25 years left on his contract! At least Kari only has one. And if memory serves, we could have easily ended up with DiPietro, had Mike Milbury not been such an idiot (see how your pal Big Shooter brings things full circle, kids... blogging 101). Mike had Luongo, traded him so he could draft Ricky D. Thus we ended up with Heatley, and got Kari a couple of drafts later. Had Milbury been sane, he would have drafted Heatley (clearly the best player in the draft), kept what has turned out to be the best goalie in the NHL, and we probably would have taken DiPietro. So, in summery kids, we were destined to have an injured goalie. No way around it.

What does all of this mean you ask? Well, it means that not only is Mike Milbury to blame for what became of the once proud Islanders, he is also to be blamed for all of the Thrashers troubles!!! Had he known what the hell he was doing, and drafted Heatley, just imagine how different our franchise would be today. Just something to think about.

Edit:

It just came to my attention that our friend Maali at Fire Wagon Hockey has some items for sale. She has lost her job, and is selling some cool stuff. Go and check it out. Unfortunately Big Shooter knows all about the struggling economy, so best wishes go out to our favorite Kari stalker.

Um.

As many of our commenters have already pointed out, every Thrashers home game (opener against the Lightning excepted) has been the exact same game.

This isn't a good thing.

As we drop farther down the standings (yes, I know it's early and so on and so forth, but...), it might be worth considering taking Kozlov off the power play.

It also might be worth considering finding a magic elixir to cure Ilya Kovalchuk of his foot problem, now.

Look out for the first installment of our Thrashers-themed western, starring Rich Peverley as "Ten Gallon Dick" (eternal thank you, Mr. Speaker), sometime very soon.

Home is a Cruel Place

Um, yeah, well, whatever.

WHY DID WE LOSE?

I think it had something to do with our allowing more goals than we scored, myself.

Thoughts?

Et Moi, Et Moi, Et Moi...GAME DAY: Columbus Blue Jackets

(importantly updated below! don't miss the important updates!)



pictured above: Rick Nash, without his helmet on, you must understand

I think the key to winning this one is to score early and often. Can't afford to make too many mistakes against a team like the Columbus "We Used to Have Ron Hainsey and Foolishly Let Him Go" Blue Jackets.

Let's hope we DO score early and often, not just for the sake of winning but because I remember the last Blue Jackets-Thrashers game was honest to God, no exaggeration, the single most boring hockey game I've ever witnessed. It made me sad.

For no particular reason other than it's been in my head, the game day tune:


IMPORTANT UPDATE: Your editor has just been made aware that the Blue Jackets played the San Jose Sharks last night and the game went all the way to a shootout, which they lost. My, I bet they're tired, physically and spiritually!

File Under "Most Surprising Thing Like Ever"

Dan Kamal on the Twitter:



I'm not being facetious when I say that's actually a lot earlier than I expected.

Fun With Numbers

As you can see, your pal Big Shooter can't stop thinking about hockey this morning. What with the game last night, and ice girls and such. So I thought I'd do something out of the ordinary for me. Look at some of them statistics. Apologies in advance to the Falconer, as stats are normally his territory. No telling what I screw up here.

-First thing that strikes me is in 11 games we have out shot our opponent twice, losing both games. That's right kids... this means in the 9 other games we were out shot, our record is 6-2-1. We are also 5-1-1 on the road, and 1-3 at home. Things that make you go, heeennngghh?

-Nik Antropov's career high in assists is 30. He has 12 through 11 games, making him on pace for 89 assists on the year, to go along with 0 goals.

-My favorite numbers that jumped out at me belong to Bogosian and Kane. Bogo is first on the team with 27 shots. Kane is second on the team with 25 shots. That, folks, is what our pal Rawhide would call, and I quote, "Good".

-Kubina leads the team with a +6. Ron Hainsey leads the team in +/- in our hearts. We love you Ron. Bring your gorgeous self back on the ice so you can distract the other team.

-Pavelec has the numbers so far to be the guy. My deal on goalies is, at worst, you want the SV% north of 90%, and the GAA south of 3. Pavs is 92% and 2.75.

-All of this leads us to Peverley. In the most impressive stat of all, he leads the team with 3 times per game he takes off his helmet, replaces with a 10 gallon cowboy hat, skates over to the other teams bench and says, "Alright boys, knock it off, leave the lady alone.".

And that's all I got.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah... Good Game, But...

Very pleased with last night's win. But let's move on to something of true value and meaning. First there is this:



And then there is this:



Enough has been said.

Good Fun

Insanely entertaining game. We made a few mistakes, but we came roaring back with a goal every time. Great effort, great determination, etc. The team was relentless.

Thoughts?

It's Like, Things are Changing, Man...

For those of you who must know, here's Dan Kamal:


Will this lead to Kozlov goals, which have lately become as rare as snow leopard sightings? Will Hainsey play? Does Peverley really need to be playing wing at all?

The Chronicle doesn't know, I'm afraid.

Be More Gay!

If everyone else is mentioning it, I might as well, as well.

Justin Bourne, today, in USA Today:

In my days as a hockey player, I did nothing but contribute to hockey's culture of homophobia and prejudice against gays. I used gay slurs more times than I'd like to admit. Six months after I left my last professional locker room, I felt a twinge of regret, followed by a full-out, stomach punch of regret. And by the time I finished the first draft of this column, I was disgusted with myself.

...

We've somehow made something totally irrelevant to hockey performance – sexual preference – such an issue that every gay player has been forced to conclude that their private life is something best hidden.

...

So it's time.

It's time to acknowledge we've been unfair to the gay community, that the culture of our sport can be misogynistic, homophobic and cruel. More important, it's time to make a stand that we want it to change.

My take? To keep it shorter than it could be:

1) Homophobia is no worse and no better in hockey than it is in other sports. Like all sports, hockey has its fair share of brain-dead jocks who, for reasons about which I dare not speculate, obsess about teh Gheyz.

2) As Greg Wyshynski notes, a lot of humor among dudes, good and bad, revolves around impugning one another's masculinity. In some ways I think this has less to do with masculinity than the simple fact that---and this is one of the cardinal beliefs of my entire life---a joke isn't funny unless it's at someone's expense, yours or someone else's. In a sports context, "taking the piss" (as our island cousins say) usually means making fun of each other's masculinity. Nothing wrong with that, I think, as long as the joke is funny.

3) Which brings me to the most important point. "That's so gay" jokes and "dude you're a fag" jokes are fucking moronic because they depend on agreed-upon negative cliches, things "everybody knows" (if they've never met an actual gay human), for their effect. Like all arts and crafts, humor is at its best when it upsets the conventional wisdom, makes us see the world in a new and startling way. Humor that relies on received opinion and mechanical reactions, stuff like "haw you didn't score a goal today you are teh Ghey" or "OMG that game was SO GAY" is just dull and witless.

Which isn't to say that some general impressions of certain groups of people aren't true: my first reaction upon reading Bourne's column was "I HOPE they encourage more gays in hockey. Maybe they could fix the Thrashers' shitty third jerseys."

4) Spare me, spare us, spare all humanity the confused "b-b-b-b-b-but FREE SPEECH" bullshit. You're perfectly free to make fag jokes, kike jokes, and nigger jokes, whatever stupid jokes you want; the US government won't arrest you for doing so. But a private organization is within its rights to restrict certain kinds of speech.

5) Not that I think hockey organizations should do anything along those lines. That would just be a bureaucratic, artificial solution. Fag-baiting won't disappear from hockey, or from any professional sport, until the substantial faction of athletes that obsess about homosexuality outgrow their paranoid fantasies. It will take a bit of time.

Hey, how about those Thrashers? Game day today!

Can You Get Behind That? GAME DAY: Montreal Canadiens

What? You didn't know he was born in Montreal?

When my memory travels back to what happened in this season's first Habs-Thrashers matchup at the Bell Centre, I seem to remember Pavelec being awesome, Colby Armstrong making Marc-Andre Bergeron very unhappy (and later scoring a goal), and Slava Kozlov feeding Scott Gomez to ravenous hounds. And then a shootout, which we lost.

Mes amis, let's win this one. Hopefully in regulation, given the Eastern standings.

For the game-day song I WOULD play something by the second greatest of all Montrealers*, but Christ on a bike that's NOT hockey music.

Instead:

Hippie, Hippie, Hoorah [Live V...

*The greatest being the man in the picture.

What Should We Make of October? What Should We Expect in November?

- Well, the weekend was kind to the Thrashers, was it not? Glad to see we made it through October with a 5-4-1 record; I don't think it's out of the question for the team to have a better record than that in November. If our penalty kill stays solid and Pavelec can be consistent, it can be done.

- So I started re-reading my favorite novel yesterday, and it struck me just how closely the old Atlanta Spirit civil war (which we've hopefully seen the last of) resembles the endless, tortuous Jarndyce and Jarndyce case. The Spirit battle could've done with a lot more fog and picturesque crime though.

- No word yet on Kovalchuk. It's amazing just how many huge stars are out with injuries at the moment. Even more amazing is the fact that most of the NHLers on the Russian national team have gone down: Markov, Gonchar, Kovalchuk, Malkin, and now Ovechkin. Curious stuff. Is this coincidence or something more organized?

No sir, I have nothing to talk about. Not until a winner is chosen in the screenplay poll, that is. So I'll turn the floor over to our beloved readers: just what are we supposed to take away from this past month? What are you expecting during the packed schedule of November?