Oh yes, there's a game, isn't there? Which everyone will surely watch, dressed as the Snookie or the Situation or an Ilya Kovalchuk devil.
HAVE FUN at your goblin orgies tonight and tomorrow, kids! Be safe, etc.
Here's some tunes to set the atmosphere.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Game Day: Sabres
Didn't we just do this? Anyway, Ryan Miller, Thomas Vanek, and Nathan Gerbe return to Atlanta for their second trip this month. The Thrashers offense will be hoping they can continue the roll they started in Madison Square Garden on Wednesday night while Chris Mason tries to allow three or four fewer goals than his last outing.
The Sabres come in at 3-6-1. After winning their opener against the Senators, Buffalo has only been able to gain victories in their previous game with Atlanta and last Saturday's matchup with the Devils.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Hockey in the NY Times! Wait, THRASHERS in the NY Times?
A nostalgic retro-blog called the New York Times has profiled the Atlanta Thrashers, for being black.
It's actually a good article! Read away.
It's actually a good article! Read away.
Needs More Humorous Bears
It's a shame the Thrashers don't have a marketing campaign even close to this good.
But then again, who does?
But then again, who does?
Well Slap My Toupee and Call Me Horatio
Hooray!
Your editor didn't see any of last night's game (for reasons that would be understandable if I explained them, which I won't, here) but he sort of wishes he did!
Let's see, what did I miss?
Very nice! What did I tell you about Bryan Little? The man is practically an Albertan-Ontarian Pavel Datsyuk.
Your editor didn't see any of last night's game (for reasons that would be understandable if I explained them, which I won't, here) but he sort of wishes he did!
Let's see, what did I miss?
Very nice! What did I tell you about Bryan Little? The man is practically an Albertan-Ontarian Pavel Datsyuk.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
GAME DAY: Rangers
Oh, how we all dislike the Rangers.
IMPORTANT GAME DAY FACTS:
1) The New York Rangers were originally formed to compete with the now long-dead New York Americans.
2) Sean Avery. People like to talk about him, don't they? Come to think of it, the Chronicle needs an NYC-based Sean Avery Gossip Columnist. Send applications to bluelandchronicle@gmail.com. We'll get back to you someday.
3) Halloween is coming up! Why not watch a spooky time captured on celluloid (in Japan)?
4) Jimmy Slater is scratched! Dan Kamal has the comical line combinations.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Ilya Kovalchuk Lacks Focus (or Something), Sez Bobby Holik
Remember Bobby Holik, the very effective third-line center that Don Waddell paid an inordinate amount of money to play for the Thrashers (often as a top-line center), directly resulting in Marc Savard's departure for greener pastures and higher pay?
Well, the man has something important to say, and said it on Hockey Night in Canada Radio the other day.
The hockey Internet, in particular the Thrashers hockey Internet, is particularly fascinated by what Holik had to say about Ilya Kovalchuk. In summary: Kovy is a fine person and highly gifted player but is often late, lacks focus, and is probably not the guy to build a team around/choose to rally your team with motivational speeches.
So this proves once and for all that Kovalchuk is History's Worst Hockey Player, and should be imprisoned for hurting everyone's fee-fee's.
Damien Cox of the Toronto Star, rubbing himself in Hyperbole and Overstatement Oil, had this to say:
What were the New Jersey Devils thinking with Ilya Kovalchuk?
...
The Devils, quite clearly, thought they were buying a stable, established family man, along with a 40-50 goal shooter for the next decade.
They didn’t think they were buying a problem man-child.
Yes, Damien, Ilya Kovalchuk is a "problem man-child" because he was late to a few team meetings. He's no longer a family man and his numerous 40-50 goal campaigns have ceased to exist, as if by black Ruskie magic. Wait, what?
That may be a bit of an exaggeration. Then again, it may not be at all. All we know is what the Devils and Kovalchuk have told the hockey world, and that’s nothing. Squat.
So you're admitting that you don't know anything. Fine. So why all the furious word-masturbation about how horrible Ilya Kovalchuk is?
ANYWAY, Bobby Holik was a pretty useless captain, and one of the great fuck-up's of our organization was to hire him for a pile of money that could have been spent on that Savard fella (who played very well with Kovalsuck). The things that might have been...
AND IN CONCLUSION: Team meetings are pretty fucking boring anyway.
Well, the man has something important to say, and said it on Hockey Night in Canada Radio the other day.
The hockey Internet, in particular the Thrashers hockey Internet, is particularly fascinated by what Holik had to say about Ilya Kovalchuk. In summary: Kovy is a fine person and highly gifted player but is often late, lacks focus, and is probably not the guy to build a team around/choose to rally your team with motivational speeches.
So this proves once and for all that Kovalchuk is History's Worst Hockey Player, and should be imprisoned for hurting everyone's fee-fee's.
Damien Cox of the Toronto Star, rubbing himself in Hyperbole and Overstatement Oil, had this to say:
What were the New Jersey Devils thinking with Ilya Kovalchuk?
...
The Devils, quite clearly, thought they were buying a stable, established family man, along with a 40-50 goal shooter for the next decade.
They didn’t think they were buying a problem man-child.
Yes, Damien, Ilya Kovalchuk is a "problem man-child" because he was late to a few team meetings. He's no longer a family man and his numerous 40-50 goal campaigns have ceased to exist, as if by black Ruskie magic. Wait, what?
That may be a bit of an exaggeration. Then again, it may not be at all. All we know is what the Devils and Kovalchuk have told the hockey world, and that’s nothing. Squat.
So you're admitting that you don't know anything. Fine. So why all the furious word-masturbation about how horrible Ilya Kovalchuk is?
ANYWAY, Bobby Holik was a pretty useless captain, and one of the great fuck-up's of our organization was to hire him for a pile of money that could have been spent on that Savard fella (who played very well with Kovalsuck). The things that might have been...
AND IN CONCLUSION: Team meetings are pretty fucking boring anyway.
Getting the Band Back Together
Just like the old days. I saw Billy Jaffe briefly on The Daily Line last night, and my that man looked sharp.
Anyway, this is heartwarming news.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Pavelec Less Woozy-ful, Cleared to Play
Ondrej Pavelec has been back on the ice for about a week, and has now been cleared to return to game action.
With Ondrej the Giant returning to action, Peter Mannino has been sent back to the Wolves where he will likely reclaim the top spot between the pipes for the Thrashers AHL affiliate. Mannino got two periods of playing time in last Tuesday's losing bout with the Tampa Bay Lightning, taking over duties after Marathon Man Chris Mason let three pucks by in the first twenty minutes.
The Thrashers play Wednesday night at Madison Square Garden, then again 48 hours later at home against the Sabres. Expect to see Pavelec play in one or both games, as Chris Mason has appeared in eight straight contests to start the season.
Wednesday night's game against the Rangers also marks the 9th game of the regular season, meaning that Coach Ramsay and GM Rick Dudley will wrestle on Thursday with the question of whether or not Alexander Burmistrov will remain in Atlanta or go back to the Colts in the WHL this season.
As I discussed here, I believe it would benefit the club and Burmistrov to send him back to Junior after a 9 game taste of the big leagues. He has been very impressive and it appears he will develop into a heck of a hockey player, but he needs to put on some bulk and get a little more seasoned in his decision making. He can help the club right now, but a 19, 20, and 21 year old Burmistrov won't help the club nearly as much as a 20, 21, and 22 year old Burmistrov will when he comes back with three full years of an entry level contract ahead of him next Fall.
One argument that has been thrown around in the debate about whether or not Burmistrov should stay in the NHL this season revolves around the risk of injury. As our good buddy Rawhide said in his blog last week, injuries occur in both the NHL and Juniors. This is true. Frenchy offered up a counter point last weekend that there are no Chris Prongers skating around the WHL with their elbows up. However, there are a few Patrice Cormiers.
The risk of injury is probably about equal in the NHL and the WHL for Burmistrov. In the NHL he is a small 19 year old playing with much larger, more experienced, older players. In the WHL, he will be the same age, but will be one of the best players on the ice, making him a target for those with an intent to injure. It's like the difference between driving on a wet I-285 in a Prius around sleepy drivers of semi-trucks and driving a Porche in a demolition derby. The other cars might not be as big, but they're actually trying to hit you and take you out.
Burmistrov shouldn't be on the Thrashers' roster this Friday because he's more valuable to the team over the course of his three year entry level contract starting next year than starting this year. That is the only argument I have for sending him back to Junior, but I think it is the most important argument that can be made in this cap era.
With Ondrej the Giant returning to action, Peter Mannino has been sent back to the Wolves where he will likely reclaim the top spot between the pipes for the Thrashers AHL affiliate. Mannino got two periods of playing time in last Tuesday's losing bout with the Tampa Bay Lightning, taking over duties after Marathon Man Chris Mason let three pucks by in the first twenty minutes.
The Thrashers play Wednesday night at Madison Square Garden, then again 48 hours later at home against the Sabres. Expect to see Pavelec play in one or both games, as Chris Mason has appeared in eight straight contests to start the season.
Wednesday night's game against the Rangers also marks the 9th game of the regular season, meaning that Coach Ramsay and GM Rick Dudley will wrestle on Thursday with the question of whether or not Alexander Burmistrov will remain in Atlanta or go back to the Colts in the WHL this season.
As I discussed here, I believe it would benefit the club and Burmistrov to send him back to Junior after a 9 game taste of the big leagues. He has been very impressive and it appears he will develop into a heck of a hockey player, but he needs to put on some bulk and get a little more seasoned in his decision making. He can help the club right now, but a 19, 20, and 21 year old Burmistrov won't help the club nearly as much as a 20, 21, and 22 year old Burmistrov will when he comes back with three full years of an entry level contract ahead of him next Fall.
One argument that has been thrown around in the debate about whether or not Burmistrov should stay in the NHL this season revolves around the risk of injury. As our good buddy Rawhide said in his blog last week, injuries occur in both the NHL and Juniors. This is true. Frenchy offered up a counter point last weekend that there are no Chris Prongers skating around the WHL with their elbows up. However, there are a few Patrice Cormiers.
The risk of injury is probably about equal in the NHL and the WHL for Burmistrov. In the NHL he is a small 19 year old playing with much larger, more experienced, older players. In the WHL, he will be the same age, but will be one of the best players on the ice, making him a target for those with an intent to injure. It's like the difference between driving on a wet I-285 in a Prius around sleepy drivers of semi-trucks and driving a Porche in a demolition derby. The other cars might not be as big, but they're actually trying to hit you and take you out.
Burmistrov shouldn't be on the Thrashers' roster this Friday because he's more valuable to the team over the course of his three year entry level contract starting next year than starting this year. That is the only argument I have for sending him back to Junior, but I think it is the most important argument that can be made in this cap era.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
The Problem With Everything
It's long been obvious to Jilted Thrashers Fans that the problem with our sad panda of a team, at least for many years, was Ilya Kovalchuk and the fact that he scored too many goals. It was refreshing to see what's-his-name, the coach of the New Jersey Devils, catch up to this important insight tonight and just cold bench the Evil Russian, thus increasing the Devils' chances for victory.
For some reason, the Devils lost 6-1. We can't say why.
ALSO, the Thrashers played tonight and lost again, though they gained the all-important overtime loss point.
Evander Kane is going to be a helluva hockey player. Perhaps he already is. Good player, Evander Kane. We mean this sincerely.
For some reason, the Devils lost 6-1. We can't say why.
ALSO, the Thrashers played tonight and lost again, though they gained the all-important overtime loss point.
Evander Kane is going to be a helluva hockey player. Perhaps he already is. Good player, Evander Kane. We mean this sincerely.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Live Stream
Again, the game is blacked out locally even for those with Center Ice. So just watch online here for free.
GAME DAY: Capitals
Why yes, that IS Riga, Latvia in the photo. If you squint hard enough, it looks like Washington, DC. Capitals both.
The Thrashers are playing the Caps tonight. How many goals will Bryan Little's work ethic score tonight? The sky's the limit, sirs and misses!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Sanity... You're a MADMAN!!!!
Vivlamore updates us all with new lines he expects to see carry over from practice to the next game against the Lightning.
Eager-Antropov-Peverley
Ladd-Little-Stewart
Modin-Slater-Boulton
Thorburn-Burmistrov-Kane
That is the order in which Vivlamore presented them and he gave a caveat that they are presented in no particular order, so don't go screaming that Eager is now on the "top line" and Kane has been demoted to the "checking line."
That being said, these combinations are fairly mind boggling. Trying Burmistrov with Kane to see if the young hot-rods can build some chemistry and get something going is logical, but why put Thorburn on the line?
Modin has been very slow the last couple of outings, and having him line up opposite Eric Boulton sounds like an equation that adds up to very little ice time. They will gain a few seconds just because of how long it takes them to drag their butts back to the bench at the end of a shift.
Antropov has been playing hurt and looks it. Now we put a thumper on one wing and Pevs on the other. To whom, exactly, is Pevs supposed to Dispense?
Think how much nicer this could all look with the addition of just one legitimate goal scorer?
Eager-Antropov-Peverley
Ladd-Little-Stewart
Modin-Slater-Boulton
Thorburn-Burmistrov-Kane
That is the order in which Vivlamore presented them and he gave a caveat that they are presented in no particular order, so don't go screaming that Eager is now on the "top line" and Kane has been demoted to the "checking line."
That being said, these combinations are fairly mind boggling. Trying Burmistrov with Kane to see if the young hot-rods can build some chemistry and get something going is logical, but why put Thorburn on the line?
Modin has been very slow the last couple of outings, and having him line up opposite Eric Boulton sounds like an equation that adds up to very little ice time. They will gain a few seconds just because of how long it takes them to drag their butts back to the bench at the end of a shift.
Antropov has been playing hurt and looks it. Now we put a thumper on one wing and Pevs on the other. To whom, exactly, is Pevs supposed to Dispense?
Think how much nicer this could all look with the addition of just one legitimate goal scorer?
GAME DAY: Tampa Bay Lightning
pictured above: the Tampa Bay Lightning power play, led by John Travolta in his prime
The wicked sky-terrors of Tampa Bay are on a serious roll right now. They've turned out to be what your editor likes to think of as "an offensively explosive team," because their explosions offend me, deeply. And they're winning a lot! Leading the Southeast Division, in fact.
Hey, let's look at some greased lightning statistics:
Goals per game, so far? MORE THAN THREE.
Steven Stamkos? 10 points.
Their power play? Operating smoothly at .750%
As Geoff Peterson would say, "Oh dear."
But the Thrashers can win because they have league-leading goaltending champ Kari Lehtonen in net. Wait, what?
ALSO (which I just mistyped as "Laos"; who knew those two words were anagrams of each other?): Niclas Bergfors is benched again. Why?
Thursday, October 21, 2010
42 Shots to 18 Shots
Hm. Reminds me of something. Like that one time, and that other time, and that other time, and...
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Game Day: Sabres
Hey, remember when the Atlanta Thrashers used to play games IN ATLANTA? Well tonight it happens again. The Boys in Blue take the ice in Philips Arena to take on the Buffalo Ryan Millers.
Will a "goal scorer" put one past the reigning Vezina Trophy winner? Or will we once again be delighted by the lamp lighting antics of Anthony Stewart and Chris Thorburn?
Buffalo is always an entertaining opponent because the Thrashers and Sabres are very similar teams. This year the similarities are even more striking, as both lineups consist of role players who are asked to go above and beyond to make up for the lack of superstars.
Alas, the moose humping a buffalo statue will never be as apropos as it was in the past now that Hedberg is in hell, but don't think that'll stop us.
I'm still trying to start a trend of mispronouncing Byfuglien's name upon a goal or big hit just so we can all yell By-Foooooooooog-lee-in! I don't care how much of a stretch it is, I just want it to sound like we're booing when we're really cheering.
GAME DAY: Buffalo Sabres
Okay, I get that they're called the "Sabres," but why did this team insist on hiring a saber-toothed cat as its mascot? Nothing against Sabretooth, of course, but don't you think it would be a million times cooler if the Sabres were represented by a galumphing ice buffalo? I think so.Anyway, games against the Sabres are always fun/terrifying. Remember Ryan Miller? We like that Ryan Miller. But we still want the Thrashers to win. Godspeed, Thrashers.*
Neneh Cherry - Buffalo Stance (1989)
*The Sabres haven't had an ultra-great start. Let's not make tonight their comeback night.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Vive Patrice Cormier Libre!
(clarified below!)
From Lord Black's venerable Canuckistani newspaper the National Post:
Former Quebec Major Junior Hockey League forward Patrice Cormier pleaded guilty Tuesday to a charge of assault causing bodily harm and received an unconditional discharge.
HMMMM. What does this mean, "unconditional discharge?" Canada and its funny old Empire Loyalist laws...
We think it means he won't serve jail time,that he'll have to deal with the Man stone-cold probation-spying on him all the time, making him pay a fine, etc. (<---read below, kids)
So there won't be any Thrashers in jail anytime soon. Not unless the authorities find out about the secretly infamous Ron Hainsey Jewel Heist of 2008.
From Lord Black's venerable Canuckistani newspaper the National Post:
Former Quebec Major Junior Hockey League forward Patrice Cormier pleaded guilty Tuesday to a charge of assault causing bodily harm and received an unconditional discharge.
HMMMM. What does this mean, "unconditional discharge?" Canada and its funny old Empire Loyalist laws...
We think it means he won't serve jail time,
So there won't be any Thrashers in jail anytime soon. Not unless the authorities find out about the secretly infamous Ron Hainsey Jewel Heist of 2008.
******
CLARIFICATION from Chronicle legal correspondent/actual lawyer Razor Catch Prey:
Read more in the comments below!Unconditional discharge, if the terminology translates logically from Beaverite to American, would mean that he has plead guilty but will receive no punishment, not be on probation, and his record will not reflect a conviction.Conversely, CONDITIONAL discharge here means that you are required to serve a period of time on probation and complete several conditions. If you fulfill all of your obligations and do not violate probation, then your record will reflect a dismissal and your record may be expunged.
These procedures are reserved for first time offenders on minor charges.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Burmistrov is a Success; Now Send Him Back
Alexander Burmistrov has proven he's got the determination and the skill to make it in the NHL. Through five games, his line centering Thorburn and Eager has been the most consistent and productive on the ice. He has also seen time on the penalty kill and his high hockey-IQ has served him well there.
The kid shows poise, good decision making, speed, tenacity, and skill. He could fill the role of third or fourth line center admirably for the rest of this season.
But he shouldn't.
I know I'm going to be lambasted for saying this, but Burmie should spend the rest of the year in Juniors.
The company line from both Rick Dudley and Craig Ramsay has been that Burmistrov "has done everything he needs to do to stay here." And I can't disagree. However, a player with the amount of potential Burmistrov has shown in these five games needs ice time to develop.
Burmistrov has been centering the fourth line, though that line has been getting pretty decent ice time. In the California swing, Bumistrov averaged around 13:35 even strength ice time each game.
In Juniors, Burmistrov would likely play on the top line of his team and earn closer to 18 minutes of ice time per night, plus power play time.
With Patrice Cormier due back at some point from injury, it might make more sense to send Burmie back to Junior, place Cormier in his spot, and retain three full years of Burmistrov's entry level contract.
The principle is similar to that used when a head coach decided whether or not to redshirt a blue chip player in college football. Do I want four (or three) years of this kid at age 18-22, or do I want four years of this player at age 19-23, after an addition year of practice? Do the Thrashers want 3 years at $850k/year when Burmistrov is 18-21, or do they take those 3 years at that price when Burmie is 19-22, had another year in Junior, and has bulked up and matured for 12 more months?
Patrice Cormier isn't the same kind of prospect as Alexander Burmistrov. Cormier is expected to be an energy guy who spends his career on the third and fourth lines. Burmistrov is slated to be a top six guy and a point producer. It makes more sense for now to let Burmie practice lighting the lamp for 18 minutes per night in Junior while Cormier centers the thumper line in Atlanta.
The kid shows poise, good decision making, speed, tenacity, and skill. He could fill the role of third or fourth line center admirably for the rest of this season.
But he shouldn't.
I know I'm going to be lambasted for saying this, but Burmie should spend the rest of the year in Juniors.
The company line from both Rick Dudley and Craig Ramsay has been that Burmistrov "has done everything he needs to do to stay here." And I can't disagree. However, a player with the amount of potential Burmistrov has shown in these five games needs ice time to develop.
Burmistrov has been centering the fourth line, though that line has been getting pretty decent ice time. In the California swing, Bumistrov averaged around 13:35 even strength ice time each game.
In Juniors, Burmistrov would likely play on the top line of his team and earn closer to 18 minutes of ice time per night, plus power play time.
With Patrice Cormier due back at some point from injury, it might make more sense to send Burmie back to Junior, place Cormier in his spot, and retain three full years of Burmistrov's entry level contract.
The principle is similar to that used when a head coach decided whether or not to redshirt a blue chip player in college football. Do I want four (or three) years of this kid at age 18-22, or do I want four years of this player at age 19-23, after an addition year of practice? Do the Thrashers want 3 years at $850k/year when Burmistrov is 18-21, or do they take those 3 years at that price when Burmie is 19-22, had another year in Junior, and has bulked up and matured for 12 more months?
Patrice Cormier isn't the same kind of prospect as Alexander Burmistrov. Cormier is expected to be an energy guy who spends his career on the third and fourth lines. Burmistrov is slated to be a top six guy and a point producer. It makes more sense for now to let Burmie practice lighting the lamp for 18 minutes per night in Junior while Cormier centers the thumper line in Atlanta.
Ondrej Pavelec Gets the All-Clear
Which you can read about here.
Should an interesting goalie year.
But seriously, don't leer
while roping a steer.
Should an interesting goalie year.
But seriously, don't leer
while roping a steer.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Chomp Chomp Chomp. GAME DAY: San Jose Sharks
What did we tell you? That we always knew bringing in NASCAR superstar Tony Stewart to play as a top forward was an excellent idea.
We play the Sharks this evening. Might be interesting.
Ducking Defeat in Disneyland
Haha, what?
The hockey version of Earth has drifted out of our regular solar system and into a parallel dimension full of ice goblins and Clarke MacArthur demons.
So. Here's some sexxxxy late night soundz for those of you who didn't nod off after the game (only after furiously masturbating, of course, because of Anthony "Tony" Stewart and his NASCAR Victory; JEEZUS stop being so vulgar):
The hockey version of Earth has drifted out of our regular solar system and into a parallel dimension full of ice goblins and Clarke MacArthur demons.
So. Here's some sexxxxy late night soundz for those of you who didn't nod off after the game (only after furiously masturbating, of course, because of Anthony "Tony" Stewart and his NASCAR Victory; JEEZUS stop being so vulgar):
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